AIBU? Bridesmaid and childcare

[Bridely2be]

Getting married next spring and bridesmaid can only stay for one night due to childcare, meaning she can only stay night of wedding and won't be with bridal party the night before. AIBU to be annoyed? Surely that's a pretty basic expectation? Her mum is having baby on night of wedding so she and partner can attend, but night before her partner could have baby but she doesn't want to leave baby for 2 nights.
Edited to add that wedding is far from home so makes wedding day logistics v v v difficult due to early ceremony. Not just being brudezilla

Yes, I was going to get a suite of hotel rooms.
Her baby will be 1.
It's 2 hours from her.

YABU to post such an obvious reverse.

There's nothing to stress about, if she's late, she's late. The only person you have to worry about being on time is you and the groom (& the registrar). Everything else is irrelevant. YABU You'll understand once or if you have children. Congratulations on your wedding.

Hope this is a reverse and you are the bridesmaid.

If not YABVU. Traditionally the maid of honour is the main support combined with brides family - and even then that is largely on the day. You are a bride, not the Queen of Sheba.

Be bloody grateful and actively supportive that she is coming and staying on the wedding night.

And the one night she has arranged to be away from her baby might be hard for her, logistically and emotionally. Did you invite her baby to the wedding?

You still sound like a bridezilla.

"I made logistics difficult, and now bridesmaid won't do exactly as I want."

You're so unreasonable.

How about you invite her baby?

What's the problem with her just driving up for 10am on the morning?

YABU. People have different levels of tolerance in terms of their willingness to be away from their babies. Your wedding is important and your friend cares and will be there, but that doesn’t mean she will be willing to take a step she’s not ready for and be away from her baby for two nights. She’s your friend and you presumably love her, so you can show some tolerance for the stage of life she’s in and accept that there is a need for compromise.

Of course.
OP if this is a reverse, just say so now.

No offence OP but what do bridesmaids even actually need to do?

I didn't have any at my wedding and didn't feel they were necessary or that I missed out. The main thing they do is look pretty and pose for photos.

YABU to expect more from your friend who has a small baby and is already giving up a night for your wedding and presumably spending money on being paraded around and photographed in a dress she didn't get to choose - all for you.

You have a "bridal party" anyway so why is it so important that this on particular friend is there? You are behaving very spoilt and selfishly.

I do have children. I am not sure why people are assuming I'm childless.

Even if she didn’t have a baby, where on earth have you got the idea that it’s a ‘basic expectation’ that anyone should spend two nights away in a hotel for your wedding?

You can ask, you don’t ’expect’ anything, of other people’s time and involvement in your wedding.

All she needs to do is be there on the day, and you need to chill the hell out.

Sounds like baby is currently still very young so she will have no idea how she will feel about leaving them for one night, let alone two. You're being very unreasonable. Are you paying for everything or are you expecting your bridal party to pay for two nights at the hotel too? It's a wedding, meant to be full of love and joy, but you're already planning to spend the morning stressing about your bridesmaids travel arrangements!

Because you don't seem to understand why a mother wouldn't want to leave her 1 year old for 2 nights in a row

Invite her partner and baby?!

She's making the best arrangements she can based on your plans. Could her child attend the wedding? Then they could all stay the night before?

Probably because you're so oblivious to how a new mum might not want to leave their baby for 2 nights?

Wow, this isn’t a reverse?!

So you think she should have travelled up the day before, on her own, then her husband should travel 2 hours separately the day of the wedding!? Oh, and then potentially have to drive back separately aftrt the wedding if they’ve been forced to take two cars! You are very free and easy with other people’s time and money!!

I wonder if lots of your bridal party will read this? You paint yourself in a dreadful light and genuinely don’t seem to see that.

Two hours really isn’t a long drive. What time is your ceremony? With a baby she’ll probably be awake at the crack of dawn anyway.

Have you asked her how she plans to get there?

I understand your nerves about the timings on the morning, and I wouldn't fancy driving two hours the morning of a wedding either.

However, your BM is working really really hard to be at your wedding, and it doesn't sound like you appreciate it.

Would you be able to afford to book them into the hotel the night before the wedding too, and bring the baby to the wedding if that meant her mum couldn't mind him? That way she wouldn't have to leave her baby for longer than she's comfortable with (which is an unreasonable thing to expect her to do) and she'd be on site from the morning of the wedding.

BRIDEZILLA 🚨🚨🚨

I'm childfree and understand that. OP is just being self-centred.