SS visited today

[sotiredandconfused]

I recently had a HV come round. She appeared a little rigid and looked like she was attending a wedding but she seemed chatty and reflected back lots of positive things she was seeing. Today I had a SW unexpectantly visit and after she read out everything that the HV had raised, to say I was shocked is an understatement. Both my DH were there and the HV literally fabricated and misrepresented things she saw. The SW was lovely and stated she had no concerns and let me know I could make a complaint (I have).

So WTF! I'm still in shock. The HV asked me at the time whether I wanted another visit and I said no, and then SS turn up!

I agree with you it sounds frustrating, but making complaints about professionals involved with your child when they raise concerns is generally a really bad idea.

sounds like it’s all resolved though and the SW saw that there was nothing to worry about from a safeguarding perspective.

It’s like when a gp runs a full panel of bloods as routine it’s just to rule bad stuff out you don’t then complain about them covering all bases just in case

don't worry, I don't think any of us understand 😆

So in England you have to go to a family hub for your 12 month and 2 year checks etc (where I live anyway) but in Wales it is all home visits and you have an extra one at 3 1/2. Is that right?

I disagree. Judicious decision making is vital, especially in safeguarding .the referral has literally made me less willing to trust HV in the future. Her actions have caused harm today.

From what I understand, broadly yes. They try and see every child before starting ft primary school.

There is a scheme in Wales called Flying Start that has enhanced health visiting in deprived areas.

Why would I be trying to find her? It's not me with the paranoia about things being 'outing'.

If you were that bothered about confidentiality you'd obscure more details.

I think that you don't want to detail the HV concerns because you don't want MN opinion on them.

Which is fair enough. But why post asking for our opinions, then?

Are there any cultural issues or lagnguage/ ethnicity that may have caused any issues ? I’m not surprised the SW didn’t find anything as the bar for input is very high ( I did have issues that even I thought necessitated a visit and they discharged me after 1 assessment ) but I’m just wondering if there was a mismatch somehow with how the HV saw the situation?

You don't know which area your HV works in?

@Appledoughnut

She obviously works in my area.

So she dressed smartly? I mean really you’re sounding like an inverted snob.

@takeyourluckwhereyoufindit

I don't want to repeat what the HV referred for because its nonsense and therefore don't want to be judged on that. Instead the thread was about the unbelievable situation I found myself in today.

I just don't get this "outing" thing on MN. As if everyone here knows everyone else and is going to work out who one of the thousnds of random posters it is

@Staunchlystarling
Just think about the optics on this.

You work in a job where you are likely going to meet people struggling.so you turn up dressed to the nines versus someone who dresses more casually/comfortably. How you dress impacts how people perceive you and therefore the willingness for them to work with you. This really isnt a hard thing to grasp.

Then there is really not much point in starting this thread. None of us can comment on whether or not you are BU if we don't actually know what it was the HV had concerns about.

My daughter also went through the "cat phase" for quite a while (and has autism). We didn't encourage it, but did play along at home if she wanted to dress up and make cat noises. She was just a small kid having fun. When we left the house or went to school we made sure she was back to "child" mode. She just grew out of it, as most kids do.

I think this is how you reacted to her, I’m sorry if you’re struggling and her attire upset you but I don’t think it is the issue here,

We don't know if it's unbelievable or not without knowing what the fabrications were... unless you've gone to tell everyone IRL already, surely it can't be that outing?

i admit i don't normally read an entire post.. i read the OP's post and then a few comments and then i make my own.. however on this occasion, i am truely baffled by what i was reading i read it all and i am still no wiser?

for clarity someone dressed for a wedding came to your house and saw your DD behave like a cat and you had a cage for your dog and there was a kettle and some knives?

then someone else came, saw none of this, slagged off the first person and then left?

and they may or may not live in wales?

I was thinking that too as I read the OP.

Yeah. My little one was 1.9lbs when born (early but not very early) they missed sometjing

anyway because of that she was failure to thrive. The hv MADE us see them every other week and if she hadn’t put in enough she’d refer us to consultant.

this went on for months until one day i just became hysterical at the consultant. The HV had said that they’d refer me to ss because she never put in enough weight.

well the consultant went nuts. She said that’s it I will write them a letter they won’t bother you ever again!!! She did and they didn’t but my god the stress was insane. I probably had PPD but I didn’t tell a soul because I was so worried they’d take my baby away.

the consultant said don’t listen to them, none of them have babies of their own and that all they see is big babies so when they see a tiny one they panic.

I never saw her again and the stress went off my shoulders completely

I honestly feel the HV couldn't relate to me or our situation very well. I think its important the way she dresses as it demonstrates lack of insight into the importance of ensuring she is doing everything she can to make people feel comfortable. Instead she sat perched on our couch looking lovely bit out of place given what she was supposedly meant to be doing. And, she didn't even do that very well! The concerns she had were dismissed by the SW. So literally the HV didn't analyse the situation at all!

The situation is unbelievable to you because you disagree with the HV observations.

You expect us to inherently agree that the HV observations were 'wrong' without us knowing what they were. We can't critically evaluate the data because you won't give it.

And - for context - Social Services NFA stuff all the time. I work in a role that involves making MASH reports when children are abused - I've lost count of the times physical assaults on children with witnesses and photographic evidence of injuries have been NFAd by the MASH team.

So, forgive me, if I don't immediately rush to agree that YANBU when you make oblique references to Lego when trying to bolster support for yourself instead of actually describing what was said.

Yes but we have no idea just how unbelievable it was, do we? Because you are giving us absolutely nothing to go on. On that basis, I am going to conclude that YABU and the HV was probably quite justified in sending SS round to check you out.

The fact that you are being so cagey and evasive about what the HV said that triggered a SS visit doesn't exactly fill me with confidence here.