SS visited today

[sotiredandconfused]

I recently had a HV come round. She appeared a little rigid and looked like she was attending a wedding but she seemed chatty and reflected back lots of positive things she was seeing. Today I had a SW unexpectantly visit and after she read out everything that the HV had raised, to say I was shocked is an understatement. Both my DH were there and the HV literally fabricated and misrepresented things she saw. The SW was lovely and stated she had no concerns and let me know I could make a complaint (I have).

So WTF! I'm still in shock. The HV asked me at the time whether I wanted another visit and I said no, and then SS turn up!

Well, I think the Lucy Letby situation is a bit different.

Not at all. She would tell the parents: trust me, I am a professional. ....on the same line.

In my case, senior daycare reported that Mum was "starving".

Actual situation: Mum was supposed to be picked up by them at 9.30. They didn't get her until 11.

After investigation I was then instructed to "remedy the situation" by reinstating her mid-morning carer, so that she could get her mid-morning snack on pick-up days. (That carer had only been cancelled for the day that Mum went to Day Care, but the lateness of the Day Care pick-up was somehow being portrayed as my fault.)

I finally cancelled Day Care because they tried to say that Mum couldn't walk - an OT who didn't know her was sent in while Mum was in with a young carer and started barking instructions at her. Mum did not take kindly to this and refused to move.

I later realised that Mum had started to refuse to stand for the Day Care team because she didn't like their bumpy mini-bus. (She had severe osteoporosis and osteoarthritis.) She was fine to go on the days that I was on holiday from work and could take her in.

My mum - who actually worked in childcare - always tells the story of when the HV came out to me when I was a toddler. We're talking over 40 years ago, so things have changed, but apparently the HV put one of those toys in front of me with different shaped bricks where the child pokes the brick through the correctly shaped slot in the lid, and said 'Can you put the shapes into the box for me?'

I just took the lid off the box, scooped up all the shapes, put them inside in one go, and put the lid back on. This then triggered a lengthy discussion between the HV and my mum because the HV said she would have to note that I was behind in my development because I hadn't technically demonstrated that I could recognise shapes. My older brother was there at the time and remembers my mum sitting there getting increasingly annoyed and saying 'No, she absolutely CAN recognise shapes but she can also recognise that THERE WAS A BETTER WAY TO DO WHAT YOU WERE ASKING OF HER, if anything this means she's brighter than either of us'

I am so sorry you had such a horrible experience. The HV should have spoken to you directly about her concerns and explained the reason for her referral. If not at the time then afterwards. Social services seem to have responded amazingly quickly. Her outfit sounds completely inappropriate for a home visit. Nothing you spoke about is a reason for social services to investigate so quickly. I hope it all gets sorted out so you can put it behind d you.

no HV visits at age 4 ….it is not part of the healthy child programme…HVs are too busy to do core visits never mind random visits
no HV would be able to make a referral without your consent ( dems the rules )
no HV would make a referral ( with your consent) without discussing with her safeguarding supervisor

all sounds a bit Billy bollocks to me🙄

My son is only one but I’ve already been told I will be getting a home visit before he starts school. It is part of their regular checks. I live in Wales. I believe it’s different in England.

no HV visits at age 4

I love how people opine on things they know nothing about and don't bother even reading the thread which explains over and over again that it's not true.

I understand this entirely, it's not appropriate to dress business like for an early years role when engaging with young children, it could create an interaction barrier between herself and the child. Nothing to do with class just professionalism. My HV wore these amazing linen dungarees which were smart but had the right level of approachability. (I wanted a pair myself!)

What I would question, is if the HV thought your child was developmentally behind why not refer to appropriate care services rather than SS? SS suggests parental issues. I highlighted the significant delays at my son's two year review. This was critical for his care as I now have several services involved with his development such as neurodivergent service and speech and language. I find on here there is a wave of negativity surrounding HV in general but there services aren't just lip service, it was a critical appointment for my sons development. (Not that I'm suggesting you haven't got a legitimate grievance)

Sounds spot on to me.
Sadly what I've come to expect from the "services"

Don't divulge too much on here, despite others encouraging you to do so.

You are innocent, and the feedback you reviewed from SS has confirmed this. I just think the HV needs a job in a prison where she's better suited. Good on you for launching a complaint, it was bang out of order what she did.

*recieved

Not everybody lives in England.

Oh the HV, SW, SS combo, it sucks! Is this HV does its name begin with a K by any chance, this absolutely K was an perpetual pain in my arsenal, and made up lies, twisted what happened, wrote reports, recommendations it told the high court... then I had an appointment at a establishment and this 'K' had the audacity to ask me how I was when we both were waiting in the waiting room, I lost it at that point! Reported it to the independent HV body, and their superiors! So sorry you have one who is putrid, request to have a different more compassionate one! Kind regards to u and your family

Social services do have lots of options to help support families whose children have developmental issues. After our referral we got support from a family support worker (past of SS). It was totally voluntary but very useful. They also helped liaise with school which pushed a dyslexia assessment through faster. The other thing they can do is carer assessments and disability assessments which can led to direct payments to help support things like inclusion activities. There are various disability services that can't be accessed without an SS referral. Perhaps the social worker genuinely thought you were struggling with the situation. You could have a beautiful house and lovely children but still need support.

Just a thought and I’m probably wrong but if you mentioned you think dd may possibly have asd could this ss lady have been the specialist teaching service or similar who would be an additional service who offer advice if there are asd concerns. At our 2 year check it was raised by HV that ds was likely autistic and from then we were referred to a specialist team etc. this does not excuse any of the accusations or comments made re sleeping arrangements etc at all though, that is not right.

It doesnt happen that fast,my son is severely autistic and over the years had various professional, s involved for various reasons the time between a referral to a visit is months ime and they don't just turn up.