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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be worried about future with older partner who has no private pension?

230 replies

powerwashingqueen · 20/08/2024 18:04

I'm early 40s, he's mid-50s, been together 15 years. Not married, no kids and no plans to have them.

He doesn't talk much about finances. We pay for the house and bills proportionately based on annual income, so it's around 70% me, 30% him, which leaves us with similar 'spare' money.

I've found out today that he has no private pension or retirement plan whatsoever, and it's made me feel really anxious. I've asked him how he plans on funding himself when he retires on, what I'm assuming will be, just the bog standard pension. He just kind of shrugged and said I'll still be earning for another 15 years after he retires.

I have a very healthy pension pot, which I've paid into since starting work aged 21.

I had to take myself away to the study and told him to leave me alone for a bit. It sounds as though he's just expecting me to continue to work and pay for everything. Yes, I am younger and will be working for longer, but I don't think that means I should just stump up for everything, especially when I already pay so much more.

AIBU to be pissed off about this?

I don't even know what options he has available at this stage in his life.

OP posts:
JHound · 08/01/2025 18:49

He just kind of shrugged and said I'll still be earning for another 15 years after he retires.

Sounds like he plans to live off you. I have said this one and I will say it a million times - dating a much older man should ensure you are dating somebody who is financially stable. Dating a much older man who I am financially responsible for make no sense in my mind!

JHound · 08/01/2025 18:50

Also curious how you have been together 15 years and just learning this?

TouristTaxtoken · 08/01/2025 18:51

www
Gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record

TouristTaxtoken · 08/01/2025 18:56

www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

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