To think that they had no self-awareness? (It's a child-free wedding one)

[Daisyoopsies]

One of my close relatives got married last year. It was child free but I was breastfeeding. I asked him if husband could bring baby to venue car park so I could breastfeed and then take baby away again during the day (it was in the middle of no-where) so that I could still attend and he said no because it was unfair on other guests. Fair enough. We decided to decline.

They've just had a baby and got invite to a child-free wedding and BROUGHT THE BABY ANYWAY and are now appalled that they were asked to leave.

Do people have no self-awareness? Do people just not care about things until it affects them?

I’m really getting quite tired of posts like this.

Every childless person, IS NOT a self absorbed, selfish arsehole.

The vast majority of us are nice, compassionate, self aware people, who fully understand the challenges parenthood brings. Many of us also have very close relationships with nephews, nieces, friends children etc and have plenty of accountability and experience with children.

This ‘all childless people are clueless’ rhetoric, really needs to stop. It’s insulting and ignorant.

Totally agree with browneyes.

Some people without children are the work of the devil.

Other people without children are the kindest you could meet and very understanding and would bend over backwards to help.

Child free weddings are silly. We had 7 plus a newborn baby and it was fine.

Just because someone does something differently to you doesn't make it 'silly'.

I don’t really mind either or whether wedddings are childfree, although I don’t understand why it causes such upset. Do people feel the same about a big birthday party or an engagement party (that’s a genuine question, I’m not trying to be goady)?

Good grief. Overreaction much.

You may think so, but the distress it causes people with children who feel excluded from family and friends' celebrations is evident on this forum.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people who act like this in a variety of circumstances. I can only guess that they are either blind to the hypocrisy, utterly stupid or just arrogantly think they are better than everyone else. let’s face it OP, their baby is clearly more special in some way. Good on your Mum for calling them out.

I can see both sides of the child free wedding argument though. It can be lots of fun for children and it’s nice not to exclude family and friends from your special day.

But, you have to rely that all guests will treat your special and often very expensive day with respect.

I immediately took my 4 year old out of a close relative’s church service when he started asking loud questions and wouldn’t stop We walked around outside for a bit.

On the other side of things, I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding about 15 years ago and a baby in the congregation stated loudly shouting “Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma” and then screeching ear piercingly loudly, during the vows. It really ruined the service and the video. But instead of taking the baby out, the parents did nothing and were actually proudly bragging and beaming about it after the service, during the photos outside, “Did you hear him in there? That was him that was, hahahaha”

Quite happy to be a different “breed” to you - you sound insufferable.

I'm glad they were asked to leave they deserved that.
Wish people would invite breastfeeding babies along to all events though

The thing is a bf baby can scream all through the vows as much as a non bf one or toddler. Whether it's a good idea to have child free weddings very much depends on the people you know and whether you could rely on them to take a noisy baby outside during the vows.

@Boysgrownbutstillathome many people (inc me) don't see their wedding as the joining of two families, but as a commitment between two people. It's nice if families get along but so many people never spend time with their relatives in-laws and don't really even view their partners family as theirs.

Every single wedding I've been to with children in attendance had one making noise throughout the ceremony

This! Whatever is important for them at that moment in their lives only. Xx

I have a "friend" who insisted I go to her birthday party FOUR DAYS after my C section. I thanked her for the invite and explained I'm having major surgery and will have a newborn. Apparently I could have at least showed up for one drink.

Yeah. Some people have NO clue.

100% agree.

There have also been posts (no idea if they are parents or not) saying weddings are boring for kids, its an opportunity for family member/friends to look after children etc. which are so wildly lacking in perspective they too are ‘ignorant and need to stop’.

There are few moderate views on this thread.

Maybe it's because in Ireland kids here are pretty used to churches if they go to a RCC school but I've never been to a wedding where a child made a racket and wasn't immediately removed from the church, or know how to behave themselves after age 4.

Very often parents are proactive in leaving toddlers or babies with a sitter and bring older ones say 5+ assuming they will happily colour in a picture or 2.

Kids here are also very used to funerals, and there's regular choir services or masses during the year at school as well as training.

People have every right to choose a child free wedding - but they also have to be gracious if the parent can't work with those logistics. Equally, parents should be respectful and never assume that children are by default invited to a wedding either. Here it's pretty much standard that kids in the Bride and Groom family will go to the church, photos and sometimes the meal then a babysitter will whisk them off for the evening.

@Turfwars Not all weddings are in church (in fact, I'd think it's the minority that are now).

I read this to mean that in @Turfwars particular experience, because children in Ireland are more used to attending church, they tend to cause less disruption at wedding services. It’s irrelevant whether that service is in a church, hotel, garden, registry office, town hall, stately home, pub, social club, village hall, cave etc

Good on your mum for her little remark! Hopefully it jogged his memory!!