To think that they had no self-awareness? (It's a child-free wedding one)

[Daisyoopsies]

One of my close relatives got married last year. It was child free but I was breastfeeding. I asked him if husband could bring baby to venue car park so I could breastfeed and then take baby away again during the day (it was in the middle of no-where) so that I could still attend and he said no because it was unfair on other guests. Fair enough. We decided to decline.

They've just had a baby and got invite to a child-free wedding and BROUGHT THE BABY ANYWAY and are now appalled that they were asked to leave.

Do people have no self-awareness? Do people just not care about things until it affects them?

I agree with this, and would apply it to destination weddings in a similar way.
Have whatever wedding you want (childfree, abroad, whatever), but don't get annoyed if certain things mean people can't come due to childcare/annual leave/finances/general logistics etc.

Hope it was barred from the reception

They've just had a baby and got invite to a child-free wedding and BROUGHT THE BABY ANYWAY and are now appalled that they were asked to leave

Sounds like they didn't? Maybe?

@BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop and @Nobodyknowsitall5

Don’t you all sound lovely? It seems though as your opinion trumps other’s.

It all comes down from my empiric observation of people around me. Some childfree friends live in Hulabaloo land and are unaware that other people are not that concerned for their belly bottoms. Some friends with children are the same but they are the minority.

If you both felt the need to defend yourselves that’s on you as I wasn’t making any assumptions about your lives.

Some people are more egotistical and narcissistic than others, regardless of children or not. However, when you become a parent your ego tones down because your priorities lie with a baby, not with yourself as an individual anymore.

My friends never bended over backwards to accommodate me. First of all because I was the first to have a child and secondly, because it was not fair on them so after meeting them with my baby for dinner I used to go home. None of them understood why I wasn’t going out for drinks with them until they started having children of their own and having to put someone else first.

Glad for you both brave and endearing keyboard warriors, hiding behind the screen to insult some random people on the internet and make assumptions about their lives.

It looks to me though that I am not the one that’s thick 🤭

@Thereislightattheendofthetunnel
But you and @Conniebygaslight made assumptions about me and other posters on here… It’s grossly offensive to imply that people without kids “have never had to think about others”. I think you know that and that explains the defensiveness in your second post.

When my friends started having their babies, I was dealing with the early, drawn out death of a loved one, supporting my parents through that loss while dealing with my own grief, my stressful job in end- of- life care, the traumatic fall out of family events that I won’t bore you with here, and the end of my own fertility in my early 30s. Nobody had any time for my troubles, and I understood it’s because they had their own things going on with very small children. I’m not going to derail this thread by arguing with you further, but to someone like me, that attitude towards people without children is extremely hurtful and empirically not true.

Oh bore off. Nobody has to bend over backwards for you for anything! Please try to reflect on your ignorance and try to be a more caring person.

Yes I was at a childless friends wedding. A mutual friend had confirmed they were still coming even though they’d had a baby 2 days before.
They travelled hundreds of miles and had the baby (in a sling, never saw or heard it). They assumed bride understood this but she went mental and thought they would just ‘leave it at home’.
A few years later bride is sending me panicked messages because she had to leave her 8 month old to go to a wedding. She really wasn’t aware.

I know you didn’t go in the end but why on earth would you ask permission of the groom for your DH to bring your baby to the car park?
It might have been his wedding but that doesn’t mean he owns the venue!
The fact he then refused you is bonkers…

I am not in the omg breastfeeding group of woman. If little one can be left with DH then express or use formula. The fact mam can't be away from baby in the modern world is one of the big reasons we need to be pro formula even as a mixed feeding approach. Luckily our friends are equally balance minded.

FFS, why is it okay to tell women who exclusively breastfeed to "just express or give formula"? If you suggest that a mother just try to breastfeed when she wants to formula-feed, all hell breaks loose, yet no one bats a eyelid when it's the other way around. As much as people don't want to hear it, formula has risks - the benefits of breastfeeding are actually just risks of formula.

The whole idea of a child- free wedding breaks my heart. Weddings are big family occasions - the bride and groom are joining two families together, yet want to exclude the youngest members of those families ( and of their close friends) and act as if they don't exist. I can't comprehend how this even became a thing - it seems so selfish 😢

it's weird isn't it. not just that poster but all the 'until I had a baby....' It's not even 'Until I had children myself I didn't understand' but 'Until I had children myself I couldn't even imagine...'

Almost like sociopath confession time. 'I couldn't possibly imagine x, or sympathise with y, until it literally happened to me, so I assume that everyone else is as completely unempathetic as me.' Whereas most people can actually conceptualise the idea that others can, and do, think and act differently to them! (and even more amazingly, understand that this doesn't automatically make the other person wrong, and them right!)

It's enlightening that so many people a) actually live their lives like this and b) think it's so normal they happily post about it without a second thought without realising what it reveals about them.

My husband and I chose to have a child free service, due to one family members child making every single family and holiday occasion about her and family members finding it funny and cute. Children were welcome at the reception after though. For my husband and I, the service was about us, not the children running up and down the aisle.

I’m not trying to excuse them, but I think many things are like this, OP — people don’t realise until they’re there… I apologised to a couple of friends after my mum died because I realised I’d not given enough thought to how it (really) felt when it happened to them.

Having a child free wedding is perfectly reasonable. Kids hate weddings anyway, they're boring and long. At least parents can attend guilt-free at leaving their offspring in the hands of a relative/friend/complete stranger, catch up with long missed friends and family without having to deal with complaints of I'm bored, when can we go home etc. alternately, they could simply decline. Your friends duplicitousness is hilarious, though... They need a wake up call.

😂

Obviously I don't condone children running up and down the aisle - it's up to their parents to make sure they don't.

Cheek of it! I hope you pointed out what they declined to you.

I think people are like that whether they have children or not. Their focus just shifts from two people to 3+.

I don’t mind child free weddings, but now I have children I also remember I don’t feel entitled to insist mine come, but also respect the fact people will have to decline (and then up to bride and groom to alter settings).

Yes - starring in their own Hollywood movie.

I would have! 😂

This made me LOL 😆

Wtf!!!

Talk about hyperbole. Some couples don't have children in their family (we didn't), it's hardly breaking anyone's heart.

I wouldn't have asked if my husband could bring baby to car park, I wouldn't have just done it.

I wouldn't have said no when asked the above.

I wouldn't have asked a couple with a tiny baby to leave my child free wedding!

Yes, other people's kids are a noisy nuisance, YOUR kids are special! TRy not to break up the family over this 😊

Absolute worst bits of this thread is there's been at least two opportunities (OP being one) were a poster could have directly asked the hypocritical people why they did what they did and discover if it was because they had no self-awareness.

Save us all guessing!!!

I attend a brand of church where children and babies are allowed at every service, noisy or not.
Weddings too.

Everyone is welcome. My point being that babies and children are part of life