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Original poster

Holidaying with young kids is a nightmare

169 replies

balconypus · 18/08/2024 22:14

Mine are 2 and 4. I don't want to sound ungrateful as I'm aware I'm privileged to even be on a holiday.

But wow, it's exhausting.

The tantrums, the mess they make- how complicated stuff becomes with them.

Being at the beach with them is a horror show. They're constantly walking off, kicking their sandals off and then needing them put on a million times. ( they can put their sandals on by themselves but it takes a while ).

The constant tantrums my two year old has, for incredible reasons. Yesterday I went to get some food from a little shop with my 4 year old, while my H and two year old waited outside. They could see us and he saw they had lollies at the till. I hate lollies. They freak me out and I never buy them, as I feel like they're a choking risk. My kids only ever have them when someone else has given them a lolly. I feel anxious while they eat them.

In any case, long story short, my DD got one and my DS saw from outside of the shop and just would not calm down. Even though I actually took it off my DD as soon as she got it from the guy at the till. I didn't realise this was why he was having such a bad tantrum at all. Until a good 10 - 15 minutes went by when he finally said he wants a lollipop.

We took them to the funfair yesterday and my 4 year old had a tantrum because she didn't want to leave. Then when we went to the beach today, she had a tantrum because she didn't want to get out of the sea ( twice ). Throwing herself into the sand and just going nuts. If it wasn't one of them kicking off, it was the other really.

Anyway we are exhausted. Yes I've done all the, 5 minutes and we are leaving. It doesn't make any difference. Today it was my 4 year old having tantrums when leaving. Tomorrow it will be my 2 year old.

Let's not even talk about how absolutely insanely angry my 2 year old gets when he needs a shower or god forbid - a hair wash ! I can't remember the last time I was able to rinse shampoo out properly. He goes berserk. The anger that comes up in him when he needs a shower is incredible. He takes a long time to calm down after. But I have to wash him after the beach, what can I do.

In restaurants the little one is ok sometimes, but other times- he's absolutely not ok. Yesterday it was so bad, he was screaming so much and nothing calmed him down- so I had to go outside, to spare the other people eating. Today he was really good for a very very long meal.

Tonight we walked for a few minutes just to get some food to take away and he was not having any of it. He just wanted to walk around and not be in his buggy. But when he's just walking around, it gets stressful sometimes as he sometimes doesn't want to hold hands.

We are staying in a flat, which is also not ideal if you ask me- it's on the second floor and we have a car parked downstairs in the underground car park, no lift. It's just another hurdle really. Huge gates to lock and unlock. The kids just don't stay still.

We've only ever done a house or flat type holiday with the kids- where we drive to the beach. But where we are, unless you leave really early- you don't get a parking spot at the beach. The other day we drove around for over an hour until we found a spot. Then it's always quite a walk in the blazing sun to the actual beach.

Is staying at a hotel better with young kids ?

We are just so exhausted at this point and my patience is really wearing thin.

OP posts:
longdistanceclaraaa · 18/08/2024 22:18

Yes holidays are pretty rubbish at those ages. None of the benefits of a holiday and none of the comforts of home.

They get better with every passing year, I promise.

Invisimamma · 18/08/2024 22:20

Sounds like you're on the wrong kind of holiday for children of that age.

Yes it can be a bit of 'same shit different location' but also holidays with kids can be great. You just need to adjust your expectations and do things that are geared towards them. It won't be the same as a pre kids holiday.

Late primary school age you can probably expect holidays to get relaxing again.

Allfur · 18/08/2024 22:24

I would never do a holiday involving a car with young kids, and yes, hotels are much better

Flossyts · 18/08/2024 22:45

If it makes you feel any better, we just got back from a holiday. My youngest is 3.5. (We have a couple slightly older too, but they just crack on)The difference between 2.5 last holiday and 3.5 this time around was insane. So much more chilled out this time around. So maybe you can look forward to a holiday next summer? X

HaveYouSeenRain · 18/08/2024 22:49

Your kids sound tired and overstimulated. Are they to hot too? Take it easy, plan lots of rest and hydration, give them snacks and fruits. Don’t sweat the small things: why do they need to come out of the sea when you had enough or keep the shoes on at the beach? Have take aways if kids are overwhelmed at restaurants (are you eating too late?) or cook them pasta at 6pm and eat in peace a bit later when they nap or watch some cartoons. In Italy locals w kids don’t go to the beach at lunchtime, kids nap and rest in room and come back out 3/4pm ish and then stay up late, could you try more rests and naps.

make sure they have sun hats and manage expectations. Repeat the same a million times “coming out of sea soon” “two more rides at funfair then we have to go etc”
so they can mentally prepare for the transition.

and yes booking an apartment without lift is not great.

Bigstuffypillow · 18/08/2024 22:50

Yes defo Hotel! Much more to do, kids clubs😉 pools,entertainment, beach nearby if you're lucky. Food on location.
It does get better I promise!

Suzuki70 · 18/08/2024 22:53

I refuse to stay in anything but a hotel with young children. I don't want the logistics of having to leave the accommodation for every single thing. I don't want to cook, or drive. I want to just get in a lift, get out again, and be presented with breakfast, a pool/playground/even theme park. Otherwise honestly I'd rather be at home and just drive an hour to Weymouth.

HaveYouSeenRain · 18/08/2024 22:57

Suzuki70 · 18/08/2024 22:53

I refuse to stay in anything but a hotel with young children. I don't want the logistics of having to leave the accommodation for every single thing. I don't want to cook, or drive. I want to just get in a lift, get out again, and be presented with breakfast, a pool/playground/even theme park. Otherwise honestly I'd rather be at home and just drive an hour to Weymouth.

Same here. Stayed in an apartment once when DC1 was 3 and just the logistics of finding breakfast foods was irritating me. Not to talk about cleaning sand out every day or buying condiments for the apartment. No thanks

Bringonchristmas36 · 18/08/2024 22:57

Yes totally hard work. Albeit try to drop any structure, why did they have to come out of the sea etc, go for sliders and not sandals.

it’d dreadful but places like centre parks of neilsons are really geared up for children

Muchtoomuchtodo · 18/08/2024 22:58

It sounds like you’ve made life hard for yourselves with your choice of apartment and location.

We tended to do hotel holidays right on the beach at that age. Always schedule in some downtime, ideally a nap after lunch then head back out as the heat of the day eased.

Pick your battles too. Was there a reason that they had to wear their sandals on the beach?

AliTheMinx · 18/08/2024 22:59

I wouldn't dream.of staying anywhere except a hotel. Ideally one close to the beach - and with lots of facilties.

messymummy5 · 18/08/2024 23:02

I much prefer an airbnb than hotel with kids as have some communal space and don't have to go to bed when they do! Definitely gets easier but I'd only choose somewhere with pool and beaches pretty close by at that age and def keep things v simple. Only went to beach restaurants at that age too so they could play on sand next to us/one of us could wander off early when they got bored

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 18/08/2024 23:02

We now do cruises as it’s all inclusive, once you’re onboard everything you need is there, but you get to visit other countries too. So much for kids to do.
They still fight, have tantrums etc. but it’s manageable.

worst holidays with young kids for us have been self catering cottages... literally all the same jobs as home with cooking, cleaning etc but in a different location. Never again while they’re young.

aurynne · 18/08/2024 23:06

I'm probably very ignorant as I don't have children, but these are genuine questions:
Why can't your children walk barefoot on the beach?
Why can't they get out of they sea when they feel like? they are on holiday! You can read a bit longer, have a nap while your DH keeps an eye on the kids, play a card game... They won't be in the sea forever.
Why can't each of your kids have one lolly while on holiday? Holidays are for relaxing. Don't you sometimes choose to have an icecream too many on holiday?

Surely not all, but at least some of these situations would be avoided if you just let them have fun? it's their holiday too! It sounds to me that you are being so restrictive with your kids that they rebel.

Entirely ready to be told I have no idea, but hey.

Youthiswastedontheyoung · 18/08/2024 23:06

We're currently on hols in UK with our three kids - 17, 14 and 4. Self-catering as all we can afford.
Genuinely, the 4 yo is so easygoing it's fine 😆
I don't feel like either I or hubby have really relaxed much but that's holidays with kids, surely?

HaveYouSeenRain · 18/08/2024 23:07

“But where we are, unless you leave really early- you don't get a parking spot at the beach. The other day we drove around for over an hour until we found a spot. Then it's always quite a walk in the blazing sun to the actual beach.”

it really sounds like you picked a bad location and accommodation for a holiday with young kids sorry to add to my previous post. Leave early, go to beach and then take them home for a nap or rest. Your kids sound really overwhelmed. Shower: don’t make it a battle, have a laugh with water, does he need shampoo every day. I know it’s hard but try and plan not too much, easy days and keep everyone cool, rested and fed.

HaveYouSeenRain · 18/08/2024 23:07

aurynne · 18/08/2024 23:06

I'm probably very ignorant as I don't have children, but these are genuine questions:
Why can't your children walk barefoot on the beach?
Why can't they get out of they sea when they feel like? they are on holiday! You can read a bit longer, have a nap while your DH keeps an eye on the kids, play a card game... They won't be in the sea forever.
Why can't each of your kids have one lolly while on holiday? Holidays are for relaxing. Don't you sometimes choose to have an icecream too many on holiday?

Surely not all, but at least some of these situations would be avoided if you just let them have fun? it's their holiday too! It sounds to me that you are being so restrictive with your kids that they rebel.

Entirely ready to be told I have no idea, but hey.

Edited

Agree w this

Thecatatnight · 18/08/2024 23:10

aurynne · 18/08/2024 23:06

I'm probably very ignorant as I don't have children, but these are genuine questions:
Why can't your children walk barefoot on the beach?
Why can't they get out of they sea when they feel like? they are on holiday! You can read a bit longer, have a nap while your DH keeps an eye on the kids, play a card game... They won't be in the sea forever.
Why can't each of your kids have one lolly while on holiday? Holidays are for relaxing. Don't you sometimes choose to have an icecream too many on holiday?

Surely not all, but at least some of these situations would be avoided if you just let them have fun? it's their holiday too! It sounds to me that you are being so restrictive with your kids that they rebel.

Entirely ready to be told I have no idea, but hey.

Edited

Was thinking the same tbh & I do have kids!

Suzuki70 · 18/08/2024 23:11

I've only just noticed the mention of a very long meal in a restaurant. Big no-no with under 3s - well, it would have been with ours. One course and done!

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 18/08/2024 23:21

I remember many years ago holidays with toddlers and pushchairs-the screaming in restaurants with one parent and child eating whilst another paced the pavement with another in the pram, the broken glassware, the ice cream stuck to heads. The travel cot and the holiday bought story books, and still failing to get them to sleep..

I miss it all and look back on it so fondly! It used to exhausting, I agree.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 18/08/2024 23:30

Hate to break it to you but not much better when they're older. 15 & 13 and just got back from an exhausting week abroad where the pair of knobs basically tag teamed-one's a twat the other is an angel and then they swop. Can't agree on what to do, where/what to eat and take EVERY opportunity to wind each other up.
The only time they got along was when I lost my shit and they found this hilarious, obviously.

GHxx · 18/08/2024 23:34

Aw I’m a year behind you (3 and 1) and really hoped by next summer things would be looking up 😂 We are about to go on holiday with my parents and sister (no kids) and I don’t think they understand the gravity of the situation 🙈 I think they’re imagining a nice afternoon splashing in the pool, the rest of the time spent sleeping in the buggy etc. They keep discussing what book or fancy bag they’re bringing for the plane. I’m trying to casually mention how extreme level this is going to be 😂

I always think a self catering apartment would be less pressure with the option of eating in while the kids play rather than sitting in a restaurant stressing but it actually means you don’t get a holiday from all of the household tasks you have at home. At least in a hotel you can go down for a nice buffet breakfast made for you and walk away when you’re finished. It definitely is an uptight occasion though and you don’t relax during any meal for fear of what’s coming next 😂

GHxx · 18/08/2024 23:39

aurynne · 18/08/2024 23:06

I'm probably very ignorant as I don't have children, but these are genuine questions:
Why can't your children walk barefoot on the beach?
Why can't they get out of they sea when they feel like? they are on holiday! You can read a bit longer, have a nap while your DH keeps an eye on the kids, play a card game... They won't be in the sea forever.
Why can't each of your kids have one lolly while on holiday? Holidays are for relaxing. Don't you sometimes choose to have an icecream too many on holiday?

Surely not all, but at least some of these situations would be avoided if you just let them have fun? it's their holiday too! It sounds to me that you are being so restrictive with your kids that they rebel.

Entirely ready to be told I have no idea, but hey.

Edited

I would agree and in theory it sounds easier just to let things go but in reality they would literally have a tantrum over fresh air. There are definitely times when you have to pick your battles though! I wouldn’t be compromising on those hard lollies though for fear of them choking but would let them have an ice lolly or something instead

Jk987 · 18/08/2024 23:44

Kids don't need to wear shoes on the beach, don't worry about that! Likewise taking a lollipop away from your daughter was never going to be a good idea. Let them have one - they're on holiday!!

I'd stick with a holiday park in the UK where there are heaps of things to do for children. The beauty of an apartment rather than a hotel is you and husband can chill on the patio with a glass of wine when the kids are in bed. A hotel means you have to whisper in the dark come 8pm so no evenings to enjoy!

HolibobsMum · 18/08/2024 23:46

Children that age like Haven and Butlins holidays. Beach, ice creams, swimming pool, softplay, Cbeebies on the TV and afternoon naps.