Holidaying with young kids is a nightmare

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Mine are 2 and 4. I don't want to sound ungrateful as I'm aware I'm privileged to even be on a holiday.

But wow, it's exhausting.

The tantrums, the mess they make- how complicated stuff becomes with them.

Being at the beach with them is a horror show. They're constantly walking off, kicking their sandals off and then needing them put on a million times. ( they can put their sandals on by themselves but it takes a while ).

The constant tantrums my two year old has, for incredible reasons. Yesterday I went to get some food from a little shop with my 4 year old, while my H and two year old waited outside. They could see us and he saw they had lollies at the till. I hate lollies. They freak me out and I never buy them, as I feel like they're a choking risk. My kids only ever have them when someone else has given them a lolly. I feel anxious while they eat them.

In any case, long story short, my DD got one and my DS saw from outside of the shop and just would not calm down. Even though I actually took it off my DD as soon as she got it from the guy at the till. I didn't realise this was why he was having such a bad tantrum at all. Until a good 10 - 15 minutes went by when he finally said he wants a lollipop.

We took them to the funfair yesterday and my 4 year old had a tantrum because she didn't want to leave. Then when we went to the beach today, she had a tantrum because she didn't want to get out of the sea ( twice ). Throwing herself into the sand and just going nuts. If it wasn't one of them kicking off, it was the other really.

Anyway we are exhausted. Yes I've done all the, 5 minutes and we are leaving. It doesn't make any difference. Today it was my 4 year old having tantrums when leaving. Tomorrow it will be my 2 year old.

Let's not even talk about how absolutely insanely angry my 2 year old gets when he needs a shower or god forbid - a hair wash ! I can't remember the last time I was able to rinse shampoo out properly. He goes berserk. The anger that comes up in him when he needs a shower is incredible. He takes a long time to calm down after. But I have to wash him after the beach, what can I do.

In restaurants the little one is ok sometimes, but other times- he's absolutely not ok. Yesterday it was so bad, he was screaming so much and nothing calmed him down- so I had to go outside, to spare the other people eating. Today he was really good for a very very long meal.

Tonight we walked for a few minutes just to get some food to take away and he was not having any of it. He just wanted to walk around and not be in his buggy. But when he's just walking around, it gets stressful sometimes as he sometimes doesn't want to hold hands.

We are staying in a flat, which is also not ideal if you ask me- it's on the second floor and we have a car parked downstairs in the underground car park, no lift. It's just another hurdle really. Huge gates to lock and unlock. The kids just don't stay still.

We've only ever done a house or flat type holiday with the kids- where we drive to the beach. But where we are, unless you leave really early- you don't get a parking spot at the beach. The other day we drove around for over an hour until we found a spot. Then it's always quite a walk in the blazing sun to the actual beach.

Is staying at a hotel better with young kids ?

We are just so exhausted at this point and my patience is really wearing thin.

I'm with you. I hate beaches (unless it's a quiet beach to go for a walk on) and my kids who are in teen years also don't like them very much. I find them the least relaxing places when busy.

I don't really like the beach either but my kids love it! They also love playing with the sand.

I only go because they love it and because of the health benefits for us all.

I only ever remember great holidays with the kids. We did self catering when they were little, didn't worry about the small stuff, managed expectations. They were happy for hours pottering about in rock pools and paddling.

We did hotels later on and that was fine too - beach, pool, chill. Were they perfect? No,they were human. Were they worse than at home? Absolutely not.

I sometimes see blogs/articles about whether AI is "worth it" by comparing the cost of eating out locally 3 x a day, but they're spectacularly missing the point when it comes to kids. I did half-board recently for the availability, variety and unlimited desserts, not the cost!

A 7 year old who has had one tantrum in her entire life. Peak Mumsnet lolll

I'm happy to report the resort is just so much easier and we are having a much better time.

The kids are still challenging. Especially the little one loves to run off and then his sister runs after him to ' get him back '. We also run after him.

I'm really not sure what to do about this one. They're 2 and 4, I think too old for reins. I travelled alone with by plane recently and used one of those wrist rein things with my 4 year old and my 2 year old was in the buggy most of the time and it not, also on one of the writs rein things..

4 year old doesn't run off much, but it was good to know she was attached to me while I was sorting stuff like going through security etc. when I needed both hands and couldn't hold her hand.

Anyway, all in all, I think for us, the resort style holiday is what works better than an apartment. We tried the apartment this year, to save some money but it was a flop ultimately. I'm not going next year unless we come to a resort agains. I would rather stay home.

We didn't have the financial freedom to start holidaying with the kids until they were 6 and 3, and I can't say I have ever felt an ounce of regret about that! Good holidays are coming op, in the meantime don't feel like you have to go if you're not enjoying it, they won't remember any of it so no point unless you're enjoying it!

I’m glad this are better.

2 is prime age for reins. 4 is a bit old but if she can’t follow the rules then she will need to have a wrist strap. If she doesn’t like it she will start following the rules of not running off.

The fear of my children misbehaving and disrupting other people was one reason I refused to go on holidays abroad when mine were little. We had a trailer tent, stayed in the UK and, looking back, I was so wound up about them upsetting other campers that I never relaxed. We cooked for ourselves most nights and always got them into bed for around their normal time as they always woke early anyway. Meals out were in pubs that opened at 6pm (very few in those days) and were empty. 'Holidays' were definitely a "same shit different place" but minus the cleaning and laundry at home

We did Butlin's this age - but resort/cruise hotel - everything just there makes it easier. Even if like us you end us self catering - as kid wanted to eat odd times and could be fussy - two cooking and few carefully chosen nights to eat out make it easier.

Sand - try baby powder to get off.

Hair washing - dry shampoo for holiday.

children back packs with built in reins - see if these could help.

Later in primary school ages did self accommodation but paid more to be very close to beach - we don't drive but remember my driving parenst always having similar issues. Plus if you can pop in and out to beach and intermixture with downtime tv watching hottest part of day - shopping or historical building visits breaks it all up a bit. You tend to spend just as long at beach but broken up over the day and happier about it walks and beach play at different times. Then with teens we did some city breaks - then back to beach holidays.

I’m glad you’ve made the move and hope it works out better.

My three kids are not the best behaved so I didn’t take them abroad until the youngest was 3. And even then it was only to hotels that were completely set up for small children, with childcare , children’s pool, children activities and meals.

Because there was no point in going anywhere that had worse facilities for children than my own home.

And if I was shopping, cooking , cleaning, tidying, doing laundry, making packed lunches, organising activities and wrestling kids in and out of the car all day then it wasn’t a holiday for me, just a relocation of my usual job. With the added drowning and sunburn hazards .

It didn't help that their father was a useless waste of space who did nothing except complain about the mess and how long it took us to get anywhere and why the children weren’t quiet during his twice daily naps.

He is now my ex, I bet you can’t guess why 😬

Reins to stop the running off?

Yeah. It only came to mind because a previous posted mentioned it.

Good for you for making him your ex !

The resort we are at is also completely catered to children. There are so many families here, so it's a good fit. This is what we will have to do, or just stay at home next time if we want to save money.

I actually found self catering holidays easier when the kids were younger but we were in a lodge on a site.
So had pools, playground, soft play, arcade, ten pin bowling, restaurants, on site entertainment and beach and town were only about 15 minutes walk. Also we went with grandparents which made it easier.
We haven't been on holiday for a while but now they're a lot older I would go for a hotel with lots to do. So I suppose it just depends on your children. But whatever you choose next year will probably be easier anyway.

Reins or some sort of wrist strap. Old fashioned and many people hate them 'your child is not a dog etc" but most kids hate them too. And if you want to bring it home that there are consequences for running off they work very well.

That said an excited child will often run towards the sea. Heading off into the blue yonder is not acceptable but provided the beach is safe and the water / beach doesn't suddenly drop off very steeply then you perhaps need to consider are you being a bit uptight.

You need an all inclusive family resprt
with stuff going on in the pool, parks, slides, kids club, food on tap

a flat and driving to the beach sounds like hell

I’m so glad someone said this.

A holiday with 1 child is totally different to 2+ kids. Different temperaments, needs and wants all mixed into one holiday can make it exhausting. I’ve holiday-ed with my first child and that was great as me and my husband could tag team…. Currently on holiday with our 2 children and my gosh what a shock to the system. Trying to manage the naps of a baby whilst you have a hyper toddler is stressful… then add them being too hot, noise, constant needing to get snacks/drinks and frustration when your attention is on the other child…. I’ve had moments I’ve wished I stayed home! And I keep being reminded by other family who are here with us (but too old to help with childcare) that all-in-all the kids have behaved well.

I hope the new surroundings are making the situation better for you OP. I have to take myself away for 5 minutes every now and then… re-hydrate, lie down for 5 mins…make sure you’re looking after you. I find if I do that I manage the kids much better and my mood isn’t as impacted by the chaos.

I don’t get why anyone would ‘holiday’ in any way, with babies and/or toddlers that would cause such stress to the parents!