Holidaying with young kids is a nightmare

[balconypus]

Mine are 2 and 4. I don't want to sound ungrateful as I'm aware I'm privileged to even be on a holiday.

But wow, it's exhausting.

The tantrums, the mess they make- how complicated stuff becomes with them.

Being at the beach with them is a horror show. They're constantly walking off, kicking their sandals off and then needing them put on a million times. ( they can put their sandals on by themselves but it takes a while ).

The constant tantrums my two year old has, for incredible reasons. Yesterday I went to get some food from a little shop with my 4 year old, while my H and two year old waited outside. They could see us and he saw they had lollies at the till. I hate lollies. They freak me out and I never buy them, as I feel like they're a choking risk. My kids only ever have them when someone else has given them a lolly. I feel anxious while they eat them.

In any case, long story short, my DD got one and my DS saw from outside of the shop and just would not calm down. Even though I actually took it off my DD as soon as she got it from the guy at the till. I didn't realise this was why he was having such a bad tantrum at all. Until a good 10 - 15 minutes went by when he finally said he wants a lollipop.

We took them to the funfair yesterday and my 4 year old had a tantrum because she didn't want to leave. Then when we went to the beach today, she had a tantrum because she didn't want to get out of the sea ( twice ). Throwing herself into the sand and just going nuts. If it wasn't one of them kicking off, it was the other really.

Anyway we are exhausted. Yes I've done all the, 5 minutes and we are leaving. It doesn't make any difference. Today it was my 4 year old having tantrums when leaving. Tomorrow it will be my 2 year old.

Let's not even talk about how absolutely insanely angry my 2 year old gets when he needs a shower or god forbid - a hair wash ! I can't remember the last time I was able to rinse shampoo out properly. He goes berserk. The anger that comes up in him when he needs a shower is incredible. He takes a long time to calm down after. But I have to wash him after the beach, what can I do.

In restaurants the little one is ok sometimes, but other times- he's absolutely not ok. Yesterday it was so bad, he was screaming so much and nothing calmed him down- so I had to go outside, to spare the other people eating. Today he was really good for a very very long meal.

Tonight we walked for a few minutes just to get some food to take away and he was not having any of it. He just wanted to walk around and not be in his buggy. But when he's just walking around, it gets stressful sometimes as he sometimes doesn't want to hold hands.

We are staying in a flat, which is also not ideal if you ask me- it's on the second floor and we have a car parked downstairs in the underground car park, no lift. It's just another hurdle really. Huge gates to lock and unlock. The kids just don't stay still.

We've only ever done a house or flat type holiday with the kids- where we drive to the beach. But where we are, unless you leave really early- you don't get a parking spot at the beach. The other day we drove around for over an hour until we found a spot. Then it's always quite a walk in the blazing sun to the actual beach.

Is staying at a hotel better with young kids ?

We are just so exhausted at this point and my patience is really wearing thin.

Holidays with children are not holidays!

You don’t get a holiday from being mum, you just get the extra challenges of being out of routine in a new, unfamiliar, and un-baby proofed location without your own stuff around you.

At the moment, I prefer serviced apartments or apartment hotels. It means I have a kitchen so DC isn’t living on pre packaged snacks. There is a cleaning service included so I don’t have to worry about that. And there is a bit more space than a standard hotel room. Also, easier to babyproof than an Airbnb or similar because there is less unnecessary crap around.

Respectfully I think you have set yourself up for failure. The setting isn't right for the age, hotels with entertainment is a much better environment. Alongside having an option of food and other kids, the kids tend to follow what each other are doing. It sounds like they're frustrated and board. Also I think you're expecting too much from a 2 year old.

I feel your pain, op. A holiday with young kids just isn’t a holiday. It’s an endurance test. Some years we just went on days out from home when they were very young. It was much less stressful.

I’ve one child and not found holidays particularly stressful - do they have SEN perhaps as they’re quite young to have proper tantrums

No chance!

Sorry, wrong thread 🤣

I go to Eurocamp type places, wish I’d done it sooner - ideal for entertaining kids. You do have to buy food but I like foreign supermarkets so that’s fine. There is usually a pizzeria on site. I do approx only one restaurant meal with the kids per holiday and that is usually pizza. Kids don’t want to sit through long meals.

I'd lower your expectations a bit. They can go barefoot on the beach. You can wash your two year old down with a facecloth and don't worry about his hair. Your out of your routine as a family and they don't understand the rules so pause before you say no and ask if this is the holiday hill you want to die on.

We had a similarly horrific holiday in an apartment with young kids. After that we started to do eurocamp style holidays, just easier because there is a bit of entertainment for them and you can have down days on the site ect. I didn't like hotel rooms where we were stuck in a dark room after they had gone to bed.

I'm not laughing at your situation but I read the 'constantly walking off' as something else for a minute there and I can't stop laughing 😆

We've decided to leave our apartment and head for a beach hotel instead. It's just unbearable. Cleaning up, worrying about sorting recycling and trying to work out which days the rubbish is picked up- is just no fun. A few other things wrong with the apartment and I'm just done with it.

We've done lots of things centred around the kids having fun - it's all about the kids having fun.

Regarding the shoes on the beach - they scream if they don't wear them, so it's not really us pushing that. Their feet get hot and they start screaming.

Regarding the lollipops- it's just not something I like and it freaks me out. They've been eating ice cream and having treats and presents/ going to fun fairs / making sandcastles etc etc etc. we've not been strict at all- they have a lot of fun. We are super laid back. I have not washed my son's hair properly in ages. It has not been washed since we've been here. He screams too much.

Regarding the choice of apartment - definitely the wrong choice. We've got a family suite at a beach hotel for the rest of the holiday. Hope it will be easier.

I don’t think it’s necessarily holidays, I think it’s the beach that’s hell on earth with young kids - hot sun, busy, no shade, sand that gets everywhere — it irritates me so of course it will annoy them. We live by the beach and I avoid at all costs during the day but taking them at about 5 is a dream, it’s cooler, quieter and just a nicer atmosphere.
I do think at that age an all inclusive hotel is slightly easier - self catering is really just same shit different place, except they’re also out of routine so even mundane things like a food shop become 10x harder. At least at a hotel, if you choose wisely you’ll have a kids pool, food and drinks nearby on tap, usually a play park and maybe even a decent kids club!
ETA - just seen your update - hopefully you’ll be able to enjoy yourself a bit more now!!

Cant speak for 4 year olds yet, but in my experience and that of all my friends, 2 is peak age for loud, relentless tantrums over obscure things. Terrible twos after all!

Not sure if my kids have SEN. I don't think so, but all is possible.

I can say that they just don't stay still!

That's what's stressful - we need to wait a sec for some reason and I'm with both, while my husband is doing something - the older one will be doing acrobatics while holding onto my hand and the younger one is constantly trying to escape the buggy ( which he usually does ). Once escaped, I'm left vulnerable and they think it's hilarious to stop holding my hands and run off...

I saw a mum recently, with two kids- around the same age as mine- she was happily just standing chatting to someone, while her kids, just happily stood next to her. I can't even imagine that for one second. They weren't even holding her hands or anything. Just standing free. Mine would be running around. I can't stop and chat. They would run around and act up.

Our dcs are 6 and 2 and are fairly easygoing, but tbh that's partly because we're quite relaxed too. Mine go barefoot on the beach and that's fine, they don't always wash after being in the sea, we keep schedules loose so they can stay at olaces longer if they're enjoying it. We often bring a packed lunch rather than a restaurant meal so they can eat a bit, go off and play and then graze some more.

We prefer apartment/air bnb holidays to hotels so we can have a separate living area, and a fridge and microwave for snacks.

My dcs have enjoyed holidays to Butlins, theme park hotels, Disney, Eurocamp, farm stays, city breaks and Center Parcs. We always pick somewhere with lots of family activities within walking distance, and the dcs always have a great time. It's exhausting for the adults, but I find it satisfying to plan them and finding new locations and activities they enjoy.

The beach is hard indeed. They also don't like being covered in sand, but can't quite work out that throwing yourself in sand while you're completely wet- will result in being covered in sand.

My two year old was really enjoying sticking his wet hands into the sand today and then running to clean them again in the water. It's quite a sensory thing.. that wasn't an issue of course but it was an issue when he just didn't get it that eventually we just had to leave.

Regarding someone saying we should just let them stay in the water until they want to come out- we did try that but we really had to go. It was getting late and they kept saying they were cold. Sometimes you just have to go. I'm also not comfortable with just one adult watching them. It doesn't feel safe. Neither can swim and they want to spend time in different areas by the sea. It's just better if we are close to them. So one parent per child is what we do.

Do they not complain that their feet hurt on the hot sand ? That's what mine do.

We are very relaxed too. I'm not relaxed about safety and quite anxious I'll lose them or something will happen in the sea or at the pool. That's my concern and I'm just not cool with them running off.

Ah I’m sorry you’re hating your holidays! Definitely sounds like the wrong type of holiday for your family at the minute.

Maybe a hotel would suit your family better. Personally, we’ve always camped in a tent with our 5YO - since he was 2 - and we have always loved them just because they’re easy! 5YO can run about, pedal, be outside all day etc. We pick small campsites where he can go the park within eyesight, have freedom but we can still see him etc. When he was a toddler he’d whizz about on his balance bike or we’d go for a walk in the woods or a beach. We decided that less is more whilst he was little and don’t think he’d like a hotel/pool type holiday just yet because it is quite limiting. Appreciate camping is not for everyone though!

Could you try taking a little inflatable paddling pool with you so he can play with the sand/water with that instead of running to and from the sea with his feet hurting?
Also not sure what your 4yo is into, but I take a little watercolour paint palette thing and my 3yo paints shells which she loves. Just trying to find something that doesn’t involve constantly bombing to the sea!

I'm on holiday atm with my 3yo, and it is bliss. My husband and I tag team so we each get a break. We got a place with two rooms which means it's easy to have a shower, relax etc once DC goes to sleep. We have a villa, so lots of space and beautiful view of the sea. It's also on a resort, so lots of kids activities plus pool, playground etc

So helpful!
Not smug AT ALL

Some kids are a breeze on holiday, some are not. The change in environment, heat, crowds, change in schedule, just general overstimulation can send some kiddos crackers.

Why do it to yourself? Just save the money you'd spend on holidays every year instead and go on a big, awesome holiday when they're old enough to appreciate it and not be complete pains in the backside.

Mine would be running around. I can't stop and chat. They would run around and act up.

^

Same with mine.

They were absolutely reckless at that age.

A holiday with small kids is the same shit, different sink.

You should just stay at home

It is meant to be helpful, saying all the good things about the place that's why it's a good holiday! Depends on where you go and the kind of place you stay (and of course the kid/s).

Currently on holiday with 3 DC age 8,7 and 3 and it’s bloody hard work. Went all inclusive and on the beach so most of the stress taken away which helps hugely- otherwise I just spend the whole holiday cleaning up and providing endless snacks and drinks and we have the logistics of trying to get to the beach etc. But still, if the 7 and 8 year old aren’t fighting the 3 year old is being a complete nightmare- tantrums over everything and anything, refusing to do most things we need her to. Walking off, refusing to sit and eat dinner, won’t shower etc. it’s well and truly a case of same shit different location!

That many tantrums is not normal. To make a scene whenever they have to do anything they don’t want is exhausting. Count to 3 if they don’t do it there’s a consequence. My DD has had this since toddler age and has had one tantrum her entire life. She’s 7 now, I still count to 3 and lo and behold she does what she’s told.