Holidaying with young kids is a nightmare

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Mine are 2 and 4. I don't want to sound ungrateful as I'm aware I'm privileged to even be on a holiday.

But wow, it's exhausting.

The tantrums, the mess they make- how complicated stuff becomes with them.

Being at the beach with them is a horror show. They're constantly walking off, kicking their sandals off and then needing them put on a million times. ( they can put their sandals on by themselves but it takes a while ).

The constant tantrums my two year old has, for incredible reasons. Yesterday I went to get some food from a little shop with my 4 year old, while my H and two year old waited outside. They could see us and he saw they had lollies at the till. I hate lollies. They freak me out and I never buy them, as I feel like they're a choking risk. My kids only ever have them when someone else has given them a lolly. I feel anxious while they eat them.

In any case, long story short, my DD got one and my DS saw from outside of the shop and just would not calm down. Even though I actually took it off my DD as soon as she got it from the guy at the till. I didn't realise this was why he was having such a bad tantrum at all. Until a good 10 - 15 minutes went by when he finally said he wants a lollipop.

We took them to the funfair yesterday and my 4 year old had a tantrum because she didn't want to leave. Then when we went to the beach today, she had a tantrum because she didn't want to get out of the sea ( twice ). Throwing herself into the sand and just going nuts. If it wasn't one of them kicking off, it was the other really.

Anyway we are exhausted. Yes I've done all the, 5 minutes and we are leaving. It doesn't make any difference. Today it was my 4 year old having tantrums when leaving. Tomorrow it will be my 2 year old.

Let's not even talk about how absolutely insanely angry my 2 year old gets when he needs a shower or god forbid - a hair wash ! I can't remember the last time I was able to rinse shampoo out properly. He goes berserk. The anger that comes up in him when he needs a shower is incredible. He takes a long time to calm down after. But I have to wash him after the beach, what can I do.

In restaurants the little one is ok sometimes, but other times- he's absolutely not ok. Yesterday it was so bad, he was screaming so much and nothing calmed him down- so I had to go outside, to spare the other people eating. Today he was really good for a very very long meal.

Tonight we walked for a few minutes just to get some food to take away and he was not having any of it. He just wanted to walk around and not be in his buggy. But when he's just walking around, it gets stressful sometimes as he sometimes doesn't want to hold hands.

We are staying in a flat, which is also not ideal if you ask me- it's on the second floor and we have a car parked downstairs in the underground car park, no lift. It's just another hurdle really. Huge gates to lock and unlock. The kids just don't stay still.

We've only ever done a house or flat type holiday with the kids- where we drive to the beach. But where we are, unless you leave really early- you don't get a parking spot at the beach. The other day we drove around for over an hour until we found a spot. Then it's always quite a walk in the blazing sun to the actual beach.

Is staying at a hotel better with young kids ?

We are just so exhausted at this point and my patience is really wearing thin.

I love holidays with ours, we mostly pick airb&b villas, but have also done apartments on the beach. We eat out at lunch and then have something like charcuterie/cheese/salad in the evening so we don’t have to do lots of cooking (although I like cooking so it doesn’t bother me about cooking on holiday), or we bbq if in a villa. I would hate a hotel with young children, unless it was an individual villa as wouldn’t want to have to be stuck in a room being quiet when they go to sleep.

We have taken ours to restaurants since birth, so they are pretty good and will sit through 3 courses, easier now they are 3 and can chat properly with us.

I think you have probably picked the wrong holiday for your family at the moment, beaches are probably not the best if you’re anxious about the sea and then running off. It sounds very stressful for you to be constantly on edge about the children and your waste management, I hope a hotel works out better for you.

@Shibr exactly this, we always either get a villa, or air bed or similar. With young kids you really need something that's more like a house

Yes hotel holidays only at that age are easier. Can have a set routine for meals, stay in the shade most of the day around the pool, play in the pool, plenty of ice cream and lolly ices for kids, back to the cool room every afternoon for naps/chilling so kids don’t become too hot/overstimulated (use this time to tag team with partner for an hour in spa/reading/sunbathing in peace). Maybe a couple of morning trips to the beach before it gets too busy/hot (so before 11am). Also no cooking/cleaning/making beds etc required as it’s all done by hotel staff. Eat snacks by the pool so no mess in room! Stick to an early bedtime and sit on balcony/terrace reading/watching a movie whilst kids sleep. Nights out ok holiday are for when they are older.

No kid wants to sit through long meals, long car drives, too hot walks and spend all day at the beach in the blazing sun. No wonder they’re in a bad mood!

Every single time I went away with mine when they were little someone got ill. Then they all got Ill. Every single time!
I found safe catering better as we kept in a routine. It's not what you really consider a holiday as such. It's more same crap in a different place.

Lol firstly to anyone commenting with one child. Same to someone commenting how their child had only one tantrum due to their brilliant parenting.

3 kids here, 1 never ever had a tantrum in her life, the other 2 very much did!

2 close together is difficult. 2 and 4 year olds are difficult! Mad little dicatators with huge egos and little sense or self control.

It does get easier, much easier by the time they're about 7.

Those of you saying hotels with young kids, what do you do in the evenings? My kids are 3 and 1 and they are in bed by 8pm. We've gone for holiday homes because they're too young to be left in a hotel room on their own and we don't want to go to bed at 8pm or lie in the dark looking at our phones every evening.

Not ignorant, Same questions I would ask and I've been on holiday with my 4 year old multiple times.
Op I think you just need to relax and adjust your boundaries. Your kids will be feeling over tired, excited, out of sorts being somewhere new. Just pick your battles and ride with it.
For what it's worth I don't think giving them 5 minute warnings makes any difference or helps them at all, do they have any concept of time? Use examples such as, when I've finished packing the beach bag it's fine to go, or when this meal is finished we'll be leaving. Etc. At home we use a visual timer so she can see the time going down.
Pick a different holiday next time and make it easier for yourself, you absolutely can enjoy holidays with young children if you get it right.

Pick bungalow/cottage style apartments where you have more than one room. We tended to go with the flow and just do things later as well as taking a push chair and gotten little one eady for bed after tea and gone out for a walk or to a quiet bar/cafe etc whilst she sleeps in the push chair. Weve had some lovely evening walks and gone to the beach or shops even. Then just transfer to bed when we get back.

Isn't that usually self catering though? Not a hotel?

The only tolerable holidays I have found with children that age are staying in your own villa with a pool and air conditioning and taking a third adult. That way 2 people can take turns to go out and enjoy themselves child free and the children can chill by the pool without getting over hot and over tired.

We have done this for the last few years and it has made for a relaxing break although of course you need a willing grandparent, friend etc to tag along.

We found the easiest holidays wete camping. They could go to bed when they were tired, and we could sit outside. Food they liked. No pressure on time. Fresh air to tire them out.

We also spent a couple of years in the Mediterranean when they were simar ages to yours... heat makes children grumpy. They need lots to drink, and lots of shade.

Hopefully your new location will make your holiday easier!

When the kids were that age we tended to go caravan/lodge holidays, Somewhere with an indoor pool for rainy days and walkable to restaurants & nice pubs for a few meals out, but also with use of own kitchen to prepare snacks etc. also good to have lounge area/ verandah type area to relax when kids (eventually) went to bed.

Now kids are older and more disposable income, now stick to same concept - villa holiday abroad - but making sure close to plenty of bars and restaurants so no cooking involved but plenty of space to chill and relax (and not having to scramble for a sun lounger as we would have to with a hotel)

We are say at the airport with a 14, 16 &17 year old and I look back on holidays when they were younger fondly. I wonder though if that’s through rose tinted glasses! You remember all the good bits.

We never managed the traditional hotel holiday though with a pool etc until they were teens we tried an AI when they were toddlers and that’s the only holiday that was nightmare. We found camping and backpacking worked for us. Holidays are definitely family specific and something you have to find your own groove with - friends though several weeks in a camper van round Europe with primary aged kids sounded like hell, but for us it was great.

It does get better and you’ll look back and miss it in a few years.

This is why I refuse to stay in a hotel with my three kids.

If it had a balcony I might be okay with the idea, but I'm not going to let my children dictate the kind of holiday we have. The idea of sitting quietly in the dark is my idea of a complete nightmare.

Houses, apartments, or camping holidays are where it's at ✅

My kids nap or rest at lunch when it’s very hot and then stay up later. Little one can sleep in buggy if tired. Kids in Italy are up until 10/11pm on holidays! Nobody sits in their rooms on phones at 8pm.
we also choose rooms with balconies!

As I said before sounds like her kids are hot, tired and overwhelmed. She never addressed whether she keeps kids in shade during lunchtime, keeps Sun hats on, makes sure they are hydrated etc. you can’t expect a British toddler to be at a Spanish beach all day in August heat and not be hot and overwhelmed. (Don’t know if they are in Spain but sounds like a busy and hot country)

No, the last two I've stayed in have been all inclusive hotels made up of apartments and bungalows.

Look forward to when they are teenagers 🤦‍♀️. Just got back from Turkey with mine. At least you can manhandle them if necessary and get them to do what you need them to do at that age! But agreed. It never felt like a holiday when they were that age. I actually had quite a lot of time to myself this last week. But it's mixed feelings as you want a balance of them wanting to be with you (if they are not sleeping or in their room) and wanting peace and quiet.

We didn’t do proper holidays when my kids were that young. Only center parcs type things really. I just couldn’t see the appeal of abroad/beach type holidays with kids that age, although most of my friends seemed to manage it and said it was fun 🤷‍♀️

Now they’re a bit older (6 and 9) and holidays are so much better!

I am an adult and I don’t like hot beaches where the sand is so hot and you can’t walk with bare feet. So it is also about personal preference. We always went to big campsite with accommodation when the kids were that age. No beach, but a swimmingpool and lots of entertainment and lots of space and a bit of nature around.

I do think holiday’ threads on MN can be a bit deliberately obtuse. Miserable, tired children just aren’t fun for anyone, including themselves. And of course you can’t sit on a beach until sundown or let them eat nothing but ice cream all day.

My DD used to nap in the pushchair no problem, got to around 10/11 months and forget it.

Suncream, sun hats, drinks, sandy sandwiches, preschoolers trying to drown themselves and babies trying to choke themselves, can you tell I’m living this at the moment? 😅

A long nap in the afternoon and an 8pm bedtime is still a normal day for my 3 year old. I guess he has high sleep needs.

lol at having one child and being the perfect parent! My older child made me think I was brilliant too and then my second came along to remind me I’m not.

OP, holidays with young children can be hellish. We did one when ours were the same age as yours and honestly if I die and go to hell, it will be that holiday repeating forever and ever 🤣 It was so awful we swore off foreign holidays for a few years and used to do UK cottage breaks with my parents which were fabulous. We did do a couple of lovely hot holidays with one child (first 4 months then 2 years) but it’s incomparable to two because you have more hands and two adults can take turns.

I find holidays start to become more relaxing when they can swim and you don’t worry about them running off. Even now though ours are 11 & 8, one of us always has an eye on them but it isn’t full on anymore. At the age yours are I’d be making things as easy as possible so hopefully you’ll enjoy the hotel 🤞🏻

Holidays are a nightmare! We tried camping once - what a moron!! Never again! The only real holiday we get is staying with the inlaws for about 10 days. The kids gravitate to them and I don't have to cook or clean - bliss!

Oh God yes I remember those holidays. Although I only had 1 to look after! Same shit, different place.

And DS announced loudly on the plane home that we were never to bring him on holiday again. I'd already pretty much made that decision for him!

No advice really op but it does get easier. We used to cruise as they have amazing kids clubs and they take them from 2 years old. So you can at least have an hour or two actually relaxing yourself!