Random stranger sat on my table at a dinner and tribute act show

[Prontehpronto]

Hi, I went to a dinner and ABBA tribute act tonight on my own (family out of town and no one else to go with). I was having a lovely time, a stranger asked if he could take the extra chair,I said yes cos I thought he was going to pick it up and take it, he proceeded to sit down! He asked why I was on my own,I said hubby was away and I thought I'd enjoy a show, he started telling me about his divorce etc, he was older, 62, seemed not weird and just overly friendly father like figure, but when the shoe carried on he didn't move!!! I said aren't your friends going to miss you, he was like its fine!! I ignored him and turned away, I'm pissed cos he didn't go away and plus I had paid extra for VIP tickets at a table at the front. His friend cane to give him a drink, I thought bloody hell no way,told him not to put the drink down on my table and can you go back with your friends. Bloody ruined my night abit, why did he do that, and how should I have handled it. He prob was harmless but he shouldn't have approached a lone female I don't think and then not gone away!!!

I think you handled it fine, although with hindsight perhaps you should've told him to go back to his friends sooner.

But all in all it's refreshing to read a MNetter stood up for herself in this way.

Hope it didn't spoil your evening too much.

He was on the pull. Not much you could have done apart from ask security to intervene as he hadn't bought a ticket on your table.

He probably thought he was being chivalrous but what he needed was a very blunt simple instruction to leave you the fuck alone. Men of that generation don’t listen to women unless you make it very very clear. Even then they’ll get huffy. It’s the peak generation of male entitlement. YANBU.

Well done for telling him to not settle down with his drink. If be very pleased with myself if I were you. Hope the rest of it was good.

YABU for letting it ruin your night! Just swat him away like a fly and don’t think of him again.

Urgh why are we not allowed to do things alone when we feel like it? I wish it was more socially acceptable. Well done for standing up for yourself.

This. ^ Annoying pushy fucker thought 'woman alone, must rescue her.' Because lone women in social situations can't cope on their own. 🙄

I fucking hate this shit.

I sometimes go places alone - even though I'm married for some years - and half the time I get an annoying pushy over-chatty man (or a couple) badgering me - because I'm clearly a sad and lonely iccle wumman.

'Just fuck off' is what I wanna say!

Sounds like you handled it OK @Prontehpronto but I am sorry this rude man put a dampener on your night!

At one point he was near the front and said get up and dance let yourself go, him and his friends were dancing, I told him no thank you, I'm fine here. I'm dont mind going out on my own but this type of shit puts you off, even if he was or wasn't on the pull, I don't want random ppl having a chat with me 😕 act was really good though on a positive note

I know!! I don't mind going out alone, but this has put me off really, will try to get some one to tag along with me next timr

Oh fuck! He was a 'get up and dance' kind of twat too?! 😆

I HATE people who insist you get up and dance. If I don't want to, LEAVE ME ALONE YOU C*NT!

😅 I know the stupid fckr. I'll dance when I want to, was having lovely solo bop on my chair but didn't fancy a full on jig

Some pretty sociopathic comments on here. He might have outstayed his welcome but a human talking to another human, seemingly politely, in a public bar/event doesn't deserve all the hate.

Yes he does. He was a pushy, sexist, annoying pest. He had no business hounding the OP.

.

First of all your use of the word 'hate' is overly dramatic.

Secondly, stop pretending it was just a 'human talking to another human'.

It was a man approaching a woman sitting on her own, who ended up turning her back on him and yet he still had to be told not to settle down with his drink.

How many lone human males do you think he did the same thing to?

He should have really 'read the room' abit, it wasn't a social situation, I was having a dinner on my own table enjoying a show, it wasn't speed dating, or I wasnt hanging out at the bar. I am alot younger then he is and he should have approached me at all let alone sat down. I'm all for friendly chats at a bus stop or at tesco checkouts, not when I'm having a dinner by myself... if I was in my 60's I wouldn't sit on the table of a lone 40 year old bloke and have a chat, he had his own friends to be friendly with...

100% this. ^ No WAY would this man have gone and sat with another man who was on his own. Couldn't wait to push his nosey fat face into a lone WOMAN's private space though. And he didn't leave even when she made it clear she didn't want him there. Arrogant twat.

First of all your use of the word 'hate' is overly dramatic. @JabbaTheBeachHut

We've got swat him like a fly, pushy fucker fuck off, leave me alone you c*nt and a stupid fucker.

If thats not hate I dunno what is. Chubby Brown gig would be more appropriate than Abba😂

Interesting thing is there was another block on his own on the next table! He didn't go and chat with him!!!!

Perhaps he wasn't a human bloke? 😂😂

I think the collective frustration which has manifested itself by some choice swearing and fruity phrases is cos women are sick of this type of situ and its not ok, I only wish I would have told him to go away sooner. Your perspective is interesting, are you a bloke per chance????

@Zow No WAY would this man have gone and sat with another man who was on his own.

Of course straight men don't sit with other men. Why would they do that? You understand that straight men aren't attracted to other men, right?

Women socialise with each other. Men don't.

its quite an odd thing to go to on your own though, so probably thought you'd been stood up and felt sorry for you.

Why is it odd?

I went to see Gail Porter earlier in the year at my local arts centre - went on a whim so went alone, first time i've gone to something like that solo, though i'm very used to (and enjoy) going to the cinema alone.
Instead of rows, the chairs were arranged around large tables and i was impressed to see a woman at mine pull out a book and some crochet in the interval 😄 I guessed she was used to going alone and had found a good way of using the interval time, while avoiding having to swat away the Well Meaning who think alone = lonely.

Willy Russell explores this beautifully in Shirley Valentine. I suggest you watch it and have a laugh about the absurdity of people not wanting women to be alone in public spaces.

m glad you enjoyed the show.