Random stranger sat on my table at a dinner and tribute act show

[Prontehpronto]

Hi, I went to a dinner and ABBA tribute act tonight on my own (family out of town and no one else to go with). I was having a lovely time, a stranger asked if he could take the extra chair,I said yes cos I thought he was going to pick it up and take it, he proceeded to sit down! He asked why I was on my own,I said hubby was away and I thought I'd enjoy a show, he started telling me about his divorce etc, he was older, 62, seemed not weird and just overly friendly father like figure, but when the shoe carried on he didn't move!!! I said aren't your friends going to miss you, he was like its fine!! I ignored him and turned away, I'm pissed cos he didn't go away and plus I had paid extra for VIP tickets at a table at the front. His friend cane to give him a drink, I thought bloody hell no way,told him not to put the drink down on my table and can you go back with your friends. Bloody ruined my night abit, why did he do that, and how should I have handled it. He prob was harmless but he shouldn't have approached a lone female I don't think and then not gone away!!!

At our local tribute nights you book a seat, or a table of 10. If I was at one of these on my own I’d expect to be sitting next to someone, although I wouldn’t feel obliged to engage in conversation.

IME other women are the worst for not wanting me to sit on my own (I’m straight and they are often accompanied by their DP). I tell them I’m here to listen to the music.

Maybe next time, the OP could hire someone to walk in front of her ringing a bell, calling out Unclean! Unclean!

Do you genuinely, genuinely think that someone should miss an event if they don't have someone to accompany? Or is it just "woman leaves house without a man" moral panic?

It's so sad that you think any woman attending an event on their own deserves pity.

I'm fairly sociable but I love going on walks, to lunch, concerts, cinema, theatre etc on my own. It's like a little solo date where I can do exactly what I want, when I want. I love my own company. I work shifts so have a fair bit of free time in the week to do stuff. Some of my friends think it's odd, but I think they're odd for never doing anything on their own.

Quite often I chat to other people while out, however I would not enjoy a random man plonking himself down on the table I had paid for and start banging on about his divorce while I was trying to enjoy a show.

I think romcoms/chicklit have a lot to answer for. But blimey @Redgreenfroggy, yours is more like a horror!

This is true! It seems odd because society paints lone women in public as objects of pity or ridicule, and so many women don't go out alone because they don't want to be pitied or ridiculed, and so a woman on her own is an unusual thing to see.

I've always enjoyed taking myself out to dinner or to the cinema when I can and I have never told another person this without getting a quizzical look in response. I really encourage everyone reading this to take themselves out to dinner. Take a book or download something you want to listen to or watch if you need to feel occupied. It's amazingly liberating.

With your ‘VIP’ purchase, did you purchase exclusive use of the table? How do you know he didn’t pay VIP prices? He asked politely if he could sit there. Recreational Indignation. In future, purchase half a dozen tickets and you can prohibit anyone from sitting at ‘your’ table.

If his table with his friends wasn’t as good as your front row table I’m guessing he was more interested in the seat than you. Probably only chatted to distract you from the fact you’d probably paid more to sit there than he had.

After initial pleasantries with strangers in those table situations it’s ok to shut it down, turn away, look at your phone, a book, a stony faced monosyllabic answer. It’s unsociable but it’s ok.

Some people like chatting with strangers and will know that not everyone else does. They usually give up and move on when it’s clear the other person doesn’t want to chat because they like chatting not being annoying.

Learn some strategies to repel friendliness and people like him won’t spoil your nights out anymore.

I would have called security and had him thrown out. What a scumbag.

Oh, I'd hate that. I love going to places by myself.
Leave me in peace 😭😂
YANBU

Ah yes, good old Jenette and Dougie from Manchester rescuing poor old Shirley, they have a jacuzzi don’t you know!

Well, this is how people used to meet, before the internet was invented.

That's immediately what I thought of too 😁
Bloody Jeanette and Dougie 😡😂
Loved how she palmed off her so called "mate" on them when she eventually showed her face lol

I’m guessing he was more interested in the seat than you. Probably only chatted to distract you from the fact you’d probably paid more to sit there than he had.

I wonder why he didn't sit at the next table with the man on his own.

He must really, really love the tribute act if he chose not to be with his own friends. He would rather sit away from the people he is actually friends with and instead sit with a woman who happens to be young enough to be his daughter. Such dedication.

I wonder why he talked through the act (that he must absolutely adore) to the OP about his divorce and stuff if he just wanted to be polite. He could have talked about the act he lives so very much or a myriad of other topics.

There's so many posts on MN about women who never meet anyone in real life. I accept you didn't want him there, but I don't think there was anything wrong in him trying to engage in conversation with you and he did ask if he could take the seat....when you made it clear that he should leave to join his friends he should have done so.

👏

Nothing "odd" about doing something alone.

OP, I think you did really great.
You were caught off guard as we all can be.
Next time it happens🙄you will be firmer from the off.
Take it as a practice run, and you won.
Do NOT let a twat put you off.

Some men think the nearest vagina is their therapist when it suits them.
They think themselves and their shite to be of endless interest to other women.

They are wrong!

Woah ! Unacceptable behaviour by the driver , he doesn’t have the right to question the eligibility of your pass .
My daughter is fully entitled to a disabled bus pass but has good mobility and if any bus driver questioned this there would be an enquiry by the relevant transport firm and driver training .

Oh, for goodness sake!!! Calm yourselves down you precious ladies.
Unnecessary drama 🙄

😕
What's precious about wanting to enjoy a show by yourself?

Exactly.

No it isn't FFS. Maybe the men YOU know are like this. But men I know of this age wouldn't dream of doing shit like this.

So fuck off with your ageist bullshit please and start moving in nicer circles.

This is what men do, isn't it? You only need to be on your own while your mate goes to the toilet for some chancer to try his luck. I'm glad you told him straight OP. They are so deluded they mistake manners for interest and leave you no choice.

That Nando’s story is horrible. Yes - bet he looked for you afterwards to have it out and potentially have the last word (that and to call you frigid or something equally vile).

That bus driver story is creepy too. Bet he thought he was being cool and very sensible to keep walking past your house. Having said that many years ago the same drivers tended to work the same routes and our bus stop was literally outside our front door.

Well exactly!

Let's remember it's an Abba tribute band not Taylor Swift at Wembley Arena.

And let's also assume that OP has the wit to differentiate between a seat grab and an unwanted chat up. Oh the temerity of OP to assume this random older man was even interested in her !

💯