Random stranger sat on my table at a dinner and tribute act show

[Prontehpronto]

Hi, I went to a dinner and ABBA tribute act tonight on my own (family out of town and no one else to go with). I was having a lovely time, a stranger asked if he could take the extra chair,I said yes cos I thought he was going to pick it up and take it, he proceeded to sit down! He asked why I was on my own,I said hubby was away and I thought I'd enjoy a show, he started telling me about his divorce etc, he was older, 62, seemed not weird and just overly friendly father like figure, but when the shoe carried on he didn't move!!! I said aren't your friends going to miss you, he was like its fine!! I ignored him and turned away, I'm pissed cos he didn't go away and plus I had paid extra for VIP tickets at a table at the front. His friend cane to give him a drink, I thought bloody hell no way,told him not to put the drink down on my table and can you go back with your friends. Bloody ruined my night abit, why did he do that, and how should I have handled it. He prob was harmless but he shouldn't have approached a lone female I don't think and then not gone away!!!

Oh, don't be so bloody ridiculous. You want to go for a meal, a drink, a show, a concert, a play, you go!

It's quite an odd thing to imagine people only venture out in pairs or more.

What a cramped, limited existence you must lead if you think it's 'odd' to do things on your own sometimes.

don't think too many single men would be complaining about that.

I do.

What man in his early twenties wants a woman twenty years older than he is comfortable over to him on a night out talking about his divorce? I don't think many would enjoy that.

None of the men I know that age hang around with middle aged women.

How does one manage to talk to a stranger without getting close enough to "impose their presence on someone" 😆Not everyone is like OP or you either, some would be glad of the company is all I'm saying. If you don't like it tell them to leave you alone and they'll soon get the message and avoid you like the plague.

By listening for social cues and by asking questions.

Did you pay to reserve all the table and seats to yourself? If not yabu to think it's odd to share. We see live music at our local pubs most weekends and you share your table, it's normal, you also get people suggesting you get up and dance especially if you are alone to be friendly.

There's some miserable people here. If the pub has the same etiquette as our locals then yabu

Ps I go out alone when dp is away, nothing odd, but I unlike here expect to share as it's standing room only for music here

Then in future if someone asks if they can take the extra chair and they sit down, tell them that they asked for the chair not to sit with you and don’t expect them to read the room, tell them that you don’t want to chat.

Agree. People too used to “me time” on their phones makes them think another human chatting to you is rude! 🤣

I don't at all. I've travelled plenty of times on my own. I just think a dinner with tribute act and dancing is generally the sort of thing you do with a load of mates, especially if
youre paying extra for a table at the front.

The more women go to stuff on their own because they feel like it, the less odd it will be

He probably thought he was doing you a favour 🙄

Now it's happened you are prepared and next time can say 'I thought you were asking to take the chair, I don't want company thanks"

It's frustrating when we go into politeness mode and put up with something we shouldn't have to for fear of offending.

I’d have thought he’d have thought the age difference was perfect. I reckon most single 60yo men would prefer a woman in her 40s rather than someone their own age. I’m not saying it’s right but you only need to look at OLD bios to see it’s true.

Gosh I don't know which is worse, I'm defo young enough to be his daughter so doubt he was trying his luck with me...

I bet he was. I wonder why he didn't go and talk to the man who was on his own? 🤔

You mentioned your husband and later turned away from him and he still didn't take the hint. Creepy fucker. I'm glad you told him to leave.

I think you handled it well. You were polite at first, turned away to keg him know you didn't want his company and when that failed, you told him to leave. Unfortunately men like this think women are desperate god their company and that women are there to entertain them.

Do you not have punctuation/apostrophies on your keyboard?
And are you sober yet?

What do you mean? She has used punctuation/apostrophes.

*let
*for

This is also all bollox

Had you paid for your seat or the table? If the former yabu if the latter yanbu.

I think this is a problem with a lot of men. In that they don't/won't read the room.

Yes of course there's nothing wrong with a man approaching a woman in a social situation. A great many relationships, friendships and flings start that way. It's the fact that he completely ignored it not being reciprocated that was the problem. I know it's not all men but I know a lot of men like this and you just know he was thinking that he was just trying to be friendly or chivalrous or whatever without acknowledging that the other person did not actually want his company.

Also in my experience a lot of men in their sixties totally see women in their forties as a 'similar age' and totally fine whereas women in their sixties do not view men in their forties in the same way!

Unless he was an actual fucking idiot though at the point where the op turned her back to him and ignored him, he could probably have realised she wasn't into chatting with him. Surely a good social interaction involves both people being willing participants.

And the op wasn't staring at her phone, she was enjoying a show that she had paid money to see.

How awful having to listen to a man talking about his divorce when you're having a night out. I think he's rude to approach you with his woes, but most probably on the pull, a lot of single men in their sixties have the idea a forty year old woman is perfect for them, that's why they're single.

What a limited existence some of you have that you can't imagine doing things on your own or that you have to have company and that women should be grateful if random men take pity on them.

Men of that generation don’t listen to women unless you make it very very clear

If he’s 52 he was born in the 70s and will have had to listen to women his whole life. Sounds like a creep, his age is no excuse.

Well done, op. I’d guess he was either on the pull or just fancied a better seat, either way you were right to tell him to leave.

I can only assume you met your husband through mutual friends since that's the only way you allow a man to talk to you

How absolutely ridiculous. The OP didn't need a man to talk to her when she was watching a show and having her dinner.

If I asked you to go for a run in the middle of your working day or to make a cake when you were at the cinema or have a chat with my aunt when you were at a job interview then I wouldn't assume that you never went for runs, made cakes or chatted.

You don't have to things, even if you enjoy them, at a time you don't want to do them and more importantly you don't have to do things with people you don't choose to do them with.

But did you actually say the words ‘No, take the chair with you back to your own table. I want to enjoy this event by myself’?