Friends with camper vans needing lifts...

[Dygger]

I've been going to tai chi classes for a couple of years and made friends there with a woman who lives about 15 minutes away from me. Last year she and her partner retired. They'd had two cars and they sold one to buy a big, shiny new motorhome. Shortly after that she started phoning me asking me to give her a lift to t'ai chi because her partner needed the car to go to something he was doing. The first couple of times I just did it, but it became a regular expectation. It's a pain because she lives 15 minutes away from me in the wrong direction. So instead of a 15-minute drive from my house to the tai chi class, she wants me to drive 15 minutes to her and then 20 minutes to the class. And all because their shiny new £80k motorhome is too big and too inconvenient to use as a vehicle for everyday things.

Another friend, on a tight budget, sold her reliable 8-year-old Skoda Yeti that has never given her trouble and bought a 22-year-old little Romahome camper van which she planned to use as an everyday vehicle. Except that because it's 22 years old it's always got things going wrong with it. Practically every month she's owned it it's needed work doing — and because it's old, it can take a while to get parts. So she's off the road for weeks at a time and looks to me — and others as well — for lifts. I think she's got nervous of what might go wrong with the Romahome next, so tries not to use it unless she's going away for a weekend in it.

I've said no to them both on a few occasions in the last few months and I suspect they are both quite pissed off with me because I'm not being more helpful. Mrs Motorhome in particular. We have to finalise and pay for the new term's tai chi sessions starting in September. Yesterday she contacted me to say that unless I agreed to pick her up and take her home again when she doesn't have access to the car she doesn't want to waste money on booking sessions she won't be able to use. I responded by saying I couldn't promise anything. She replied that it was all so awkward, but she didn't want to waste money on taxis — to which I responded by saying 'I noticed.' She hasn't responded. AIBU?

I'm loving it too!
And if @Nourishinghandcream has a hippiesh air about her, and is maybe a wee bit mad she could be a boho in a moho going loco 🤷‍♀️

I'm quite liking MoHo. Every time a friend mentions his MH, I have to take a few moments to realise he's not talking of hus mental health - whuch is good, because he's usually talking about latest problem with his MH. (It's been in a garage for over a week as I type. I don't think he's currently suffering depression or anything.)

A one-off lift when there's a problem is very different from agreeing to a regular arrangement.

Surely this is for her and her husband to work between them. How come he gets first dibs on their car?

Cesarina · Yesterday 18:42

boho in a moho going loco

I feel that the Four Tops could make a song out of that.

I LOVE your “I noticed” 🤣🤣🤣

you are not being unreasonable .
someone who can afford 80k on a camper van can afford either a bus / taxi !!
It’s an inconvenience for you !
The other friend perhaps needs to be questioned about whether a car would be more sensible instead / in addition to the unreliable van !

I like you!

Agree; well done for those responses under pressure!

Lifts are ok, if you are passing on the way, but not on a weekly basis and having to go out of your way by 15 mins, which adds 30/40 minutes to your journey. More wear and tear on your car and more fuel to pay for the journeys. That is really cheeky of her.

There's a huge difference between stopping to pick someone up when you're driving past their house anyway, and expecting you to commit to being her taxi service on a weekly basis, adding half an hour to your journey time. I can't believe how self centred some people are. Her tone is also appalling, and I agree with your "moral blackmail" observation OP. At the very least, she could have said something like "trying to work out car with DH. Do you think you might be able to take me on alternate weeks" or something.

The 80k moho person is absolutely taking the piss.

Surely her husband could take the motorhome to do his stuff and leave her with the car

Or, if parking is tight at the tai chi venue, could she not drive the MoHo to yours, park on your drive, and then you go to the venue in your car? In exchange for a few quid a week petrol money, of course.

Basically, she's a cheapskate.

The one with the 22 year old camper I feel a bit sorry for... But she's still taking the piss.

Tell them both to buy a bicycle

CF has a car, she needs to tell her DH she needs it for getting to class. If that's not possible, then get a push bike or scooter.
I'm also loving "I noticed" comment. 😀

I don't mind giving occasional lifts if friend in need short term. But both of these MoHos have created a long term no car problem and so they need to sort it out as not reasonable to ask for lifts long term.