FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

I think less of grown adults who lack the wit to understand that getting public transport typically is the responsible choice.

@HauntedbyMagpies · Today 11:39
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I def think less of grown adults who have no reason not to drive, yet still get on buses! It's just a bit pathetic and shows a lack of responsibility

You make no sense.
How does it show a lack of responsibility if I manage to get myself around perfectly fine by getting on buses or trains or using my legs and walking?!

Oh sorry I realise I have slightly misread your post to which I appended my response. My phone is flicking in and out of coverage and I read it in juxtaposition to a different post which cast a different slant on it. But nonetheless, I still can conceive a life without a car to fetch a loaf of bread!

Honestly I don’t blame you.

I think it’s one thing to not drive but be able to get yourself from a to b using your legs, cycle or public transport but when you’re not interested because others will drive for you that’s where I do agree with OP.

That's fine if you're in London or another big city with good public transport. Most people don't live in London and a handful of other big cities so don't have the same access to cheap and frequent public transport options.

You've been to every town in the UK have you? And therefore know there's only a handful of places where it's possible to get around by public transport?

Or are you just ignorant to the fact that most towns and cities have public transport. And while it may not be every five minutes like it is in London, it's frequent enough that people can plan to use it, and manage.

If you are able to get yourself from a to b without constantly relying on friends or family who drives then that’s grown up imo

Why is it any of your business and why get so wound up about something has has zero effect on you?

I started lessons at 17, absolutely hated it and stopped. My partner was the only driver in our relationship because he loves driving…I then learnt during Covid just because I wanted to be able to help my parents who were getting older. My partner still does most of the driving…because he loves driving.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos

It's not always easy to just "keep up".

No it isn't. But it's a hell of a lot easier to "keep up" when you're younger and less of a leap if you're doing it "little and often" rather than burying your head in the sand for a decade and then having one hell of a leap to change to new ways of doing things when old options are finally taken away at the same time that maybe your mind isn't as quick and agile as it was.

Far better to make changes at your leisure/convenience when you have other options in case things don't work out, rather than leaving it to the last minute and having to make big adaptations at a time when you're backed into a corner.

It's called forward planning. We can all see the direction of travel as regards to self service tills, cashless society, apps for everything, reducing public transport options, local shops and amenities closing, online shopping, online banking, etc. It's all been happening for decades and the trends will continue rather than reverse. So making little effort to adapt is going to be to your detriment in years to come.

Same here and we are both in our 40s. We also live rurally in a village but still don't need a car.

Absolutely. All circumstances are different. Which is why I don't go round calling drivers irresponsible or say I lack respect for them. Unfortunately the poster I quoted doesn't extend the same courtesy to those for whom not driving is a viable and responsible choice.

My son lives in a major Northern city. He's had to buy a car because the buses are inconvenient and unreliable. Before he signed up for the flat, he checked it was on a bus route, it's in a major residential area just within the by pass. In the event, the buses are absolute crap and he was late for work at least twice a week because his bus simply didn't turn up and the next one was late. The buses back from town finish too early to be useful for him to use after football matches or cinema trips etc. Hourly bus service on Sunday and the last back from town is a stupidly early 6pm! So, yes, it's "possible" to get around by public transport, but he'd end up losing his job because he was turning up late too often and he'd have no evening social life at all. Even the park and ride he sometimes drives to has last bus out of town at 6pm and car park closed and barriered at 7pm! This isn't some hick village or small town. It's a major Northern city! There's basically only a handful of cities in the Country with adequate public transport comparable with London - most cities and large towns have very limited public transport if you work full time and want some kind of evening social life.

And shows utter ignorance of how many struggle with tech. My parents in their eighties feel helpless now the banks etc have shut. They simply don’t understand apps and online banking despite having it explained. They hate feeling powerless and dependent despite trying.

That’s my idea of hell. When I see places where you can’t buy a pint of milk without getting in the car I think no thanks. Even if I had a fleet of cars I’d never live somewhere that wasn’t a short walk to a few shops.

I am a driver.

Most young people understand about climate change. And know that public transport is better for the earth, if good quality networks are available. It is the people criticising others for using buses over cars, that are the most old-fashioned and backwards on here!

I grew up in a small Northern town. I was able to get myself 14 miles to and from work on buses before I passed my test. I was able to go on days out to the majority cities around me and further afield using trains or buses.

You're basing your responses to people entirely on your own experiences in life. Sure, some places the transport links are shit. But that doesn't make it the same everywhere.

I agree with this, though I absolutely disagree with the blanket bashing of non drivers some posters are doing.

I don’t drive anymore but never in my life have I acted like an entitled t*at about getting lifts. I never burden people, whether family or friends, I always make my own arrangements. The only time I’ve ever asked for a lift as a favour was when I had general anaesthetic.

So you'd move when your local shop closed down? And then you'd move again when the local shop where you moved close to, closed down? This is reality these days! What if you can't find a house close to shops to move to?

Yes I would hate to live somewhere cut-off from services. I am lucky with where I live in London. Not everyone has a choice of course.

Sure, most towns have buses, but do they cover routes everywhere within the town, i.e. every housing estate, every school, every industrial estate, every retail park. Or, like most places, were the routes set decades ago and never updated when a new retail park opens up, or a new housing estate, etc? My son could get himself to school by bus, but it took 90 minutes to travel seven miles due to long walks each end of the journey and having to change buses half way with timetables that didn't match so a long wait half way. By car it was ten minutes hence why he started lessons on his 17th birthday and drove to school for most of his upper sixth year!

I know. My family are very willing to try. But some of it is just things they can't get their heads around. Or they struggle to see the apps on their phones, or start to get worried by all the scams they hear about and don't understand the workings of.

I wish that people who have failed 20 times would also give up for the good of others! Maybe when a person has failed a given number of times they should have to take a more intensive test.
It's the one skill that some people think we all have and it's not true, like everything else some are unsuited to driving and presumably can live their lives accordingly.

Yes, but you actually need public transport that is feasible to use, which in a lot of places, and for a lot of people, simply isn't there.

For those can can live their lives on public transport without cadging lifts, then fair enough, you do you.

But public transport users need to realise that for a lot of people, it's simply not convenient, or virtually non existent, hence why they drive.

Not difficult to understand the difference. But yes, people are right to criticise drivers who could use public transport because they live in a city with good options. They're wrong to criticise car drivers who don't have good public transport options.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos My dad is like this. He's very able and intelligent but he refuses to own a mobile phone, doesn't use the internet or have an email address, still does in person banking etc. He can drive though. I guess it's just what is comfortable for them and what they are used to.

Well the people saying they don't need to drive obviously find it adequate enough for their needs. It's only you who seems to think it's not good enough.