FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

I did learn to drive when I was 18 (mid thirties now) but ended up hating it, and to be honest I am so clumsy and have issues with responding quickly to things so I think its for the best I don't drive - I can't even walk around my own house without bumping into something so I think it's best I am not on the road! I live somewhere that has decent public transport and good transport links though, which was something that was a priority when we bought our house, as my DH doesn't drive either.

I think he will learn to drive at some point and think he would be much better for it than me, not because he is a man, just because I think he would be more suited to driving. There are many things I am better at though 😂we get by fine without a car but would like us to have one in the future for holidays/days out more further afield. One car would be all we would need.

As a city dweller myself, I don't see the situation you describe at all. My (unpopular) opinion seems the opposite to yours, that there are too many cars on the road and many do not seem to even consider other options so it's common to have two, three, four cars per household. Where I live it's a 5 min walk to buses that go to two different city centres (20 min for the main one) and a town centre (also 20 min), yet multiple cars on drives and in street around here, it's crazy to me. Although I do understand there are many families where they are needed e.g rural, bad public transport or no one works from home etc.

Thank goodness for all the emergency service workers who can swim and are willing to then.

I can understand being annoyed if you’re often asked for lifts from someone who could drive but won’t learn, but outside that scenario have no idea why it would bother you. If I’d had everything I needed within walking distance, I wouldn’t have learned, either.
Presumably most people are sensible adults, can make a more or less informed decision about whether to learn to drive or not, and organise their lives accordingly.

That’s a very good distinction. And I agree: there are plenty of drivers probably patting themselves on the back for their independence who are pretty woeful drivers. I thought of six just in the time I typed this post.

I passed my test at 17, my husband passed at 50. Who cares?!

Well, yes. I'm not an emergency service worker.

What are you on? Bigot?!
No one I'm talking about has any disabilities of any kind.

All still missing that this isn't about cars/driving its about inequality between sexes. Blimey are people obtuse.

There's always been a lot of nastiness about women drivers. No wonder some women didn't feel confident enough to learn, in the past. I bet younger women are more likely to learn than the older generations were.

Even now, there's prejudice. I'm a member of a Facebook group that flags up bad parking. You'll get comments about 'woman drivers' but never about 'man drivers'. 'Woman driver' is itself an insult.

This car obsessiveness needs to stop to help tackle climate change - take the bus, train, walk, cycle and lower emissions. Less people driving will necessitate better public transport, bus lanes, cycle paths, it will bring better health, less deaths from accidents… I personally know six people, including my parent, who have been involved in terrible car accidents resulting in three deaths and three life changing injuries. Yet people like the op think operating a speedy death machine is a life skill that everyone should be doing even if they admit they are not confident or crap at it, whatever.

We get it! And that inequality is that women tend to be more risk averse. Some of us think that’s a good thing. Get it?

I dont drive because I've always been very anxious to learn. I think I have asd to be fair undiagnosed. I massively over think it and worry I won't be able to do it and I can't even bring myself to try with my anxiety. I hate it. It sounds stupid I know I can't explain it but I feel like I can only hyperfocus on one think and the concept of driving scares the sh*t out of me as it looks to require a lot of concentration and focus on different things.

FFS, Why don't all you arsey drivers mind your own business?

It is not about whether people in general should drive or reliance on cars. Its the inequality of skill acquisition by men vs women.

I’m sorry Tea. These posts must seem so insensitive.

I don't drive for a range for reasons including being assaulted by my driving instructor aged 19; ADHD and resulting anxiety; and never choosing to live anywhere that didnt have excellent public transport - but then nor do I rely on the good will of those who do.

I wonder why the OP feels it necessary to criticise other women's choices, and be ableist all in one go.

I don't drive.

I can drive, but I don't like it.

It was useful to get to/from work but since not working the car just sat there.

I now have a mobility scooter and the pass that allows it on the bus and tram.

If OP wanted a discussion they should have worded it better instead of attacking non drivers as "weedy" etc. The post was deliberately provocative so it's not going to raise a sensible discussion.

Borne from personal experience, if you do live rurally, please have a backup plan for when you're elderly in case you can't drive anymore. Seen it happen to a lot of people- my mum was a care worker in the country, and both my aunt and dad lost their driving licences recently for health reasons, and it gets very isolating very quickly. Far more so than those in the city.

We both drive but my husband is the ‘driver’ if we go on long haul holidays/trips. He’s just more confident and loves it whereas I hate it. The school run brings me out in a cold sweat but that’s mainly my job to do. I’ll do the shops on a Saturday or a local activity but that’s pretty much it. I find parking etc …. extremely stressful. I do think it’s important to have a car when you have kids though.

Same here. OP needs to calm down and stop judging people / situations she knows nothing about. The only thing worse than gender inequality is making everything about gender inequality 😂

My 33 year old daughter doesn't drive...not for the lack of trying (and falling 😢) to pass several times over the years.

Theory test - aced it!
Practical test - severe dyspraxia beats her every time. 😢

She's had SOOO many lessons and extra coaching on the manoeuvres she finds most challenging, but 'on the day' her nerves get the better of her (she's not a 'nervous' person, but this situation has really knocked her confidence now 😢)

My (late) aunty eventually passed her test aged 58 on her 14th attempt - which she eventually took in an automatic car. That was something to celebrate 🤣

Not sure why you're so mean OP! Everyone is different!

The inequality comes from men being more reckless. This has been explained to you many times. That's why they're responsible for most RTA's and traffic offences. Because they drive when they shouldn't.

Gosh I do wish I could drive. But no. Never mind life's a bitch.

You're talking about me! I live in a very rural town. I don't drive—took lessons at age nineteen but never bothered taking my test. We have a car sitting in our driveway which my husband drives us around in at the weekends. I just have no interest in driving. Don't like it, don't want to. I walk and bus everywhere