FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I was in a car accident in my early 20s and put it off. I lived in a large city and could walk everywhere or get a bus/train.

When I moved to a suburb and had children I had to learn to drive. I don't particularly enjoy it and if we are going anywhere DH tends to drive in his car as mine is older and smaller. I've been driving a long time now and while I'm ok on other motorways, I am a nervous wreck on the busy motorway near my house. There are too many accidents on it daily and I would be a risk to other drivers. There are probably a large number of other people who drive on it but shouldn't either......

I can see the various reasons people don't drive - the cost, the time, the confidence, little encouragement, feeling too old, medical reasons. Instead of berating them, perhaps show a little sympathy.

Neither of my parents drive (no reason other than 'don't want to'). They seem quite happy to get around with public transport and the occasional taxi but I just couldn't imagine being so limited in where I could go and when I could go / come back.

An entire childhood of standing at freezing cold bus stops and on train platforms means that even now 20 years after I passed my test I still pinch myself that I have the independence that comes with driving. I would never, ever, do anything to jeopardise my licence.

so what is your thread all about ? About women living with a man who drives them around and how stupid and under the thumb we are. LOL

Not 11 percent more!😱🤣. A great big number like 11!?

I can tell you why and it isn’t because women are downtrodden or weak. It’s the same as one of the reasons women tend to have higher average age of longevity: because they often have more danger awareness and less of a kamikaze attitude, combined with being more mature about not feeling pressured into doing something just so they don’t look weak or pathetic. Except some of the women in this thread obviously buck that trend.

Soo many people giving reasons why they don't drive that are nothing to do with their sex and missing the point

why do 11% more men have a license than women

Its arguably as worrying as if (for example) 11% more men had a maths GCSE than women - its a skill, a qualification, that opens up career, educational, social opportunities. Ignoring environmental issues of actual driving, the act of being licensed and having the ability to drive a vehicle is a positive thing so it is a bad thing for equality of the sexes that fewer women are granted that qualification than men.

I do agree both about how it can limit your independence, along with reliance on sometimes unreliable public transport etc. Personally, I don't fancy standing in the freezing cold and rain for another delayed bus with a route that might take 20 minutes longer than a car. And I do find the freedom in driving that comes from knowing you cam get somewhere urgently in a good time reassuring. If I had to rely on my DH to ferry me around everywhere, or if I needed to take my DC out for am appointment/club etc and he wasn't here, of course I'd manage but it would be a bit inconvenient and made more restrictive.

I know there are pros and cons, like anything, to driving or not. On the plus side, avoiding owning an expensive car is one good thing about not driving - my pig in a poke Mini Countryman is costing us £4k for a bloody total engine refurbishment! 😳😱😳 I definitely think being a non-driver in this position would be seriously advantageous and I'd be much better off lol 😆 😅

As an adult, barely ever. I have once from my mum when I broke my ankle and needed to get to the hospital. But I wouldn't have been able to drive with a broken ankle, even if I knew how.

I take buses/taxis usually.

Drivers get lifts too sometimes I should imagine?

Driving lessons are now around £35-£40ph where I live! Think that’s a pretty big barrier for many! We just put all 3 of my DC through their tests in the last year or so! Cost us thousands but we had saved & budgeted for it as we consider it important.
Not all dc are lucky enough to get paid for lessons and by the time many could afford it they are saving for a house/paying rent etc & don’t have the spare cash. As with many things low earners just don’t have the cash to commit to a block of lessons which could realistically cost £1000.

So sorry Mojer that must have been unbelievably traumatic.

I think there's a lot of cognitive dissonance when it comes to cars. People depend on them so much they can't bear to acknowledge they are also killing machines

@TransformerZ I don’t know how you aren’t completely ashamed to post what you have. I’d take a “thicko” who didn’t pass her GCSEs over a nasty bigot any day.

I consider it comparable to having learned to swim.

Yes, you can cross water in boat. Yes, you can structure your life to try and not need to go near water. Because... risk, fear, whatever.

But in a crisis where swimming could save a life its a bloody useful skill so I'd want to have it even if i didn't use it much day to day.

The issue is too many men (and in my opinion people in general) drive when they shouldn't, not that not enough women drive.

Your maths analogy doesn't work because no one's life is endangered by more women (or people in general) knowing maths/having a maths degree.

Yes it's probably the counterpoint to the fact that young male drivers cost so much to insure because they think they are invincible and drive the same way.

It’s also interesting how often this coincides with living ‘very rural’ with no public transport options.

I’m going to agree with you OP. My mother never learnt to drive and she wears it like a badge of honour. Yet expects everyone else to ferry her around and it has limited her life beyond belief

I can swim but I would not try and save someone's life by swimming to be honest, I wouldn't put my own life at risk!

I can tell you why and it isn’t because women are downtrodden or weak. It’s the same as one of the reasons women tend to have higher average age of longevity: because they often have more danger awareness and less of a kamikaze attitude, combined with being more mature about not feeling pressured into doing something just so they don’t look weak or pathetic. Except some of the women in this thread obviously buck that trend.

This is alarmingly naive. Sadly thousands of women are prevented from acquiring a useful skill that could improve their lives through lack of access to money, or controlling relatives who prevent them, or are indoctrinated to believe women are less capable than men.

Its not about whether driving/cars are good. Its about why millions more men than women are able to acquire what is fundamentally a valuable skill.

Its not about whether driving/cars are good. Its about why millions for men have what is fundamentally a valuable skill than women.

Compared to .. also millions of women.

Thanks have rephrased to clarify.

It’s usually followed by crowed supermarkets on Saturday’s because men drive women who can’t drive but need to go to the shops and drag the kids along!

I learnt at 19, my children learnt at 16, all been driving a while.

All of them couldn’t work if they didn’t drive due to unsociable hours. They are paid well for that and get free parking - the buses don’t run after midnight.

I think the younger the better

I think it depends on various factors : is it affordable to learn, public transport in your area, whether your parents drive or not. The biggest thing is being able to afford a car insurance, tax and upkeep can be the make-or-break thing. Access to driving is expensive.

For me, driving is really important. I walk as much as I can but I value the freedom and independence driving gives me. I also find crowds/people stressful so I like being on my own in my car. Totally see how that might wind others up but it’s just how I feel.

I will add that kids in car do not get an allowance to learn to drive and I am backing a campaign to help them with the costs - they start of the back foot as it is.

How does it break down when done in age ranges?
@TransformerZ sometimes it's a matter of priority for their budget. With the added theory test, it can be time factors as well. My middle DD can't drive. I'm trying to get her to go for her test because it gets more difficult as you age. Because she can't afford a car, she isn't prioritising spending on lessons. My other two DDs have medical issues.

The non drivers I know don’t tend to rely on others for lifts. They use public transport, taxis or walk when distance allows it! Drivers, including myself feel stuck without our cars and are more likely to ask for lifts when cars are off the road! Couldn’t tell you when I last got a bus! Use trains to travel to the 2 cities I occasionally go to as I live near train station and parking is expensive! I tend to drive to most other places and would be put off going somewhere if I couldn’t drive there. Whereas my non driving bf is used to finding her own way on buses/trains. She doesn’t let not driving stop her going where she wants /needs.