FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

I was brought up by a single parent who didn't have the money for a car and to house and feed us. Living without a car was the norm, When I left home, I didn't feel the need for a car which was just as well as my income wouldn't cover a car and my living expenses, I chose education and a social life over a car.

Now, I could afford to but I don't drive as I am medically not allowed to, and that is OK because I don't feel deprived as I have never known any different and I prefer to be accidentally helping the environment!

I know a few older women like this it’s a form of control from their husbands so they know they can’t go too far away
I actually know one lady late 30s her husband has to take her the shop every evening so he. Can choose what they eat for dinner sad really

I don't drive, had lessons, discovered I have no ability to judge distances and just found the whole thing terrifying. My husband drove, did the shopping and ran the children to events. It was just the way we split up jobs, each playing to our strengths.
I worked within walking distance till I retired. Now widowed, I get my shopping delivered and get taxis when needed. If I need a lift, for instance to medical appointments, my sons are happy to take me - part of the give and take of our family life. I am always happy to help them with childcare etc.
No need to judge how other people choose to live their life - you do you, and I will happily do me.

OK, there we go.

My father got two car crashes and scared me to death. We lost him almost to the two occasions.

I asked him for money to do lessons when I was 19, he did not give me.

Then I moved to the capital city of mine and later this country. We live on the edge of London, I have part time jobs here and there, easily accessible for me.

If I want food being shopped, we go together or I give him a list.
We use the car together as a family on the weekend, pretty much this is it.

If we buy another car with his salary and pay for it with his salary, we will be virtually throwing money down a drain.

I don't know am I cut for a driver. But often when we are behind a car and he is fast I kind of imagine ( due to my fear from my father's life) that we are closer to it and scream.......perhaps that shows either I have trauma with cars or indeed, cannot measure distances. Why bother

Again, I don't know any men who can't drive, apart from 3 who have health issues. One has epilepsy, and one has narcolepsy. (Not sure of the third one, but I do know it's health issues..) I must live in a different world to some posters.

I didn’t learn because I have crap spacial awareness and think I would be a shit driver and the thought of learning gives me awful anxiety. I eventually talked myself in to it learning a few years ago and then the pandemic hit. I was on a waiting list but chickened out before I got to the top.

My Dd and her husband don't drive. It's annoying sometimes when we have to drive 50 miles each way to pick them up or drop them off but I completely understand how scary driving within the M25 can be. They can commute on public transport 95 % of the time so it's not really a big deal.

I've been driving over 40 years and I bloody hate it. It's such a massive responsibility. I'm currently campaigning to move to near a tube station so I can get rid of my car and never drive again.

I don't drive bc where I live it's not really worth it. Everything is close and parking is expensive.

My parents didn't drive and neither did my grandparents. So I guess that would mean me making an effort to do lessons and gain access to a car which I have never needed to, or would struggle to.

I'm happy using taxis.

My DH thinks driving is important but doesn't have a licence. Not so important really then huh?

I'm not fussed. I like a drink and smoke cannabis.

So I'd probably not be able to drive a lot of the time even if I learnt.

But I couldn't afford the insurance, tax, parking etc even if I wanted to have a car.

It's very dependent on where you live how necessary it is I think.

@LondonFox I earn enough to pay people to drive me around.

This is mumsnet, after all.

I'm currently in the process of learning to drive at 32, family couldn't afford it and I couldn't (still can't really now and oh boy it scares the crap out of me/anxious the whole time), my OH drives but I 100% don't ask for lifts everywhere, if anything I find it annoying how reliant everyone is on car transport (especially under a mile - with the obvious caveats not trying to ablist), I'm trying to get my OH to use public transport more!
None of my family drove growing up and I'm so used to public transport I don't see the issue. Even when I pass (hopefully), I 100% won't be using it daily (and I'll buy my own due to automatic only)

lol, obviously the second he mentioned is the husband. The father is now very old

What a strange thing to get your knickers in a twist about! What has it to do with you if people choose not to drive🤔

I know a few men who can't drive. My best friend and his partner (also a man) can't. A couple of guys at work can't. My female friend's partner can't.

I have very bad spatial awareness and it took me 5 goes to pass my driving test. I get anxiety when I'm driving and the stress makes my reactions and spatial awareness worse.
I don't expect other people to drive me to places. I'll get a taxi or public transport.

I mean I do too they are called bus drivers.

Neither me nor (male) DP drive. I had about eleventy billion lessons but was a nervous wreck and hated it - technically I could drive fine but I couldn’t anticipate what other road users were up to so was useless.

DP grew up in a city centre home, went to uni in Edinburgh and lived centrally there, and we live centrally now with a 20 minute walk to town.

The only time I wished one of us drove was during Covid when we couldn’t get our usual online shopping slots.

That’s really sad. At such a young age too 😔

I know people, men and women, who just couldn't get their head around it. And some who passed but have no confidence in it.

And TBH, these people who struggle to grasp it, we don't want them to drive. The ones with no confidence behind the wheel we definitely don't want driving.

If they don't feel like they can or want to, leave them be. There's enough bad drivers on the roads without forcing people who don't want to out there too.

😂

I only know a handful of adults who don’t drive. They are all men 🤷🏼‍♀️

There does seem to be an assumption that if you can drive you should isn’t there? My husband drives our child to nursery, it’s a 10 minute (if that) walk that we managed easily pre-car and I do when do I pick or drop off

😂😂

I can’t drive because I’m utterly shit at it

you know how some ppl can’t draw or can’t sing or cant dance

and yes I’ve tried multiple times, still shit at it

I don’t drive.

What I do is have a supplemented travel budget for first class train tickets.

Also, we live in London so, Uber or black cabs. But mostly I cycle as I like the freedom, and there’s no issue parking at the other end!

Have toyed with getting a license, but it’s maybe once a year that I think it would genuinely be useful, and it doesn’t seem worth the hassle and expense for that.

My husband doesn’t drive either.

Campaigning to move near a tube station? Campaigning to who?