FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

Because with my level of anxiety I'd be a danger to the other cars on the road, the pedestrians on the pavements and probably the birds in the sky. Believe me, I've tried.

Just for contrast, this household also has an iron, but it's only me that uses it. Go figure.

Calm down, you’re being ridiculous. I don’t drive. I used to a bit, hated it and haven’t really needed to since, have no intention of doing it again. My choice!

Some people don't want to. Some people can't afford to. Plenty of other reasons in between.. I love the freedom that driving gives me, especially with the kids being able to just jump in the car and go anywhere. But with insurance prices the way they if they continue to rise I probably won't be able to afford to have a car any more. Been driving 10 years, 5 years no claims on my own policy as before that I was a named driver on my dad's insurance, never been in an accident, no points and my insurance doubled last year. Due for renewal again in a couple of months, have tried comparison websites just to have an idea of what to expect and it's not looking good.

Yes yes this!!

if be some miracle id have flukes a pass on one of my multiple tests, I’d still be rubbish and you (collective you) really don’t want me on the roads

I don't get it. Uber is not new

I'm actually with the OP on this. It's a rite of passage as well as one of the measures of being a true adulting adult IMO, and there should be very few excuses! If you could but don't/won't, you're not as good at life as those of us who can 😆

I used to drive but due to living costs we only have one car, and on lease by Dh's company so I am not allowed to drive it. Excellent communications though so I don't mind. I am sorry OP that I can not afford to have a car being a sahm for one of my DC who is autistic🙄

I agree with you OP it annoys me too. It’s so wimpy to decide you’ll have a man drive you around and be at his mercy but not have the confidence to be in charge of your own direction!

I only know 4 people who don't drive. 1 is a man and just doesn't want to drive. 1 is a woman who is scared to drive. The other 2 live in cities where they don't need or want to drive and couldn't afford the parking.

Well, at the time I would have been deemed fit to drive, my fulltime net income was £890 and £825 of that was taken up by rent, council tax, gas, electricity, water, travel to work and the occasional luxury of tampons and food.

Not everybody has generous parents, a helpful spouse or a well paid job.

I earn enough to pay for people to drive me around too - and so does DH.

But we choose to drive ourselves.

Neither me nor my male siblings learned to drive as teenagers. Not because we had parents who couldn’t afford to pay for lessons but because we had a massively chaotic abusive lifestyle. I had jobs from a young age but no freedom to use the money from them for driving lessons or a car. I had to use the money I earned to feed myself even as a young teen as no one else was going to. My money was regularly taken from me by my parents if they needed it, and regularly stolen by others visiting the house, we did not live in a safe place. Applying for a license was entirely outside of my experience or control, I’d have needed a birth certificate for a start, which I didn’t have until well into adulthood. My priority was to get out of a dangerous home where I was assaulted regularly so I was paying full rent and all utilities on my own by 18 and working three jobs to do it. Money for food was a luxury, money for a license was impossible, never mind lessons or an actual car. I had no proof I even existed as no documentation from my family, and had to jump through hoops to even prove I existed.

Me and my siblings did not learn to drive before we established full adult solvency - a stable home and spare cash. For me that was my 30s.

My male partner could drive at 17. He lived in a four car household. His parents paid for his food every day, didn’t take his money when he earned it, showed him how to apply for a license, paid for the license, insured him on their cars and gave him lessons. They helped him book a test and celebrated when he passed, even though he paid for his car with his own earnings.

So we were together for many years with him as the driver.

Surely there are enough posters on here now that you can see this isn’t a gender issue? There are myriad reasons someone (male or female) wouldn’t/couldn’t drive and lots of them have been discussed here. No one seems to have mentioned “being wimpy”…

I'm one of "those" people that choose not to drive.
It's my choice. I know I would be a terrible driver due to anxiety and indecision and would hate every second of being on the road.
Secondly, it's better for the environment. There are already too many cars and people drive too much when they don't need to. I also like public transport (when it works).
Finally, not driving saves me a shit load of money.

Over dramatic much?

Yeah this. ^ It's odd and weird to not want to at least TRY to learn to drive. Health issues aside, everyone should attempt to learn to drive. Some people claim they can't afford it, but will pay loads of money for mobile phones/phone contracts, designer clothes, holidays abroad, expensive tech etc...

Other people manage to afford it. 'I can't afford it' is an excuse IMO.

........

Every woman in my family since the 1920s has known how to drive a car, even if they were not the main driver. I didn't bother to learn until I left a city with good 24 hour public transport to return to London. And since then, I have never used public transport. It costs too much, doesn't go anywhere I want to go, and doesn't exist outside 9 -5.

Wanna bet?

You seem so angry! There are all sorts of reasons why people can’t drive. For me, my parents couldn’t afford that as well as my lessons in 2 musical instruments, and every weekend as a teenager was spent in orchestra rehearsals or on orchestra residentials. They gave me the choice though and music was, and still is, my passion, so I chose to keep going with that. Then I was at university for the next four years. When I graduated I lived in a big city and had to build up some money before getting driving lessons. I did get a few but then my instructor moved away and I was made redundant just after that so driving had to be put on the back burner again. Then we were getting married so all our money went into that, then I needed surgery on both hips and finally after that I had lessons and passed my test 2 years ago. I never at any point saw myself as “weedy”, it was just my circumstances stopping me from learning.

It’s interesting you posted this because on the way home from a friends today I was wondering a similar thing. He’s just too fucking lazy, he admits he’d rather his husband drive and he can’t be made to of he doesn’t have a license but I do know a few people (women) who claim to have a fear of driving. I don’t think any of it been caused by any significant event, they’re just scared. I find it really hard to get my head around tbh.

It’s possible for people with a car in the household to have different opinions. Not everyone wants/needs an outdated mode of transport.

What sexist crap.

My son doesn't drive but his girlfriend does.

TBH, I'd rather be friends with a non-driver than with someone as judgey as the OP.

Where we live it's a necessity so all of our 4 passed their tests at 17. It's just part of what you need to pay for if you live in the middle of nowhere (hindsight is a great thing - would never ever condiser moving to the countryside ever again). A mile without a footpath or phone reception to the bus stop then the last bus back leaves town 10 miles away at 6pm. No weekend buses.

I havé a licence and car but try not to drive too much. Where I am people use their cars to drive somewhere that's a 10 minute walk and are overweight and unfit, some of the people I work with have daily steps or less than 2000 every day! It's so unhealthy. I think walking and using public transport is way more "adulting" that getting in a car and driving absolutely everywhere. A lot of people's cardio fitness is so bad they struggle up a flight of stairs.