FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

My parents didn't drive and it was a nightmare growing up rurally. I started saving from my first part time job when I was 14 to get lessons. If DH didn't drive I'd begrudge doing all of the driving unless something medical prevented him doing so.

I drive. I couldn't give a single dusty fuck if other people can't or don't as long as they don't expect me to play taxi.

Why do you care so much?

Yes you have been. Where in your OP did you say that? You 'understood' why people with certain disabilities couldn't (nice of you ) but then went on to invalidate that too. You didn't mention that this post only applied to people who had 'a car in the household'.

My parents owned a car for most of their adult lives. Father got his licence at 17, Mother never. She's the sort of person who is largely oblivious to her surroundings, and has no sense of direction, poor spatial awareness, can't judge or estimate distance to save her life, no recall of landmarks etc. Sure enough, as soon as she sat in the driver's seat for the first time it was immediately apparent she just wasn't cut out for driving and would be a dangerous hazard to other road users.

There are far too many people on the roads already who have no business being behind the wheel. The last thing anyone should be doing is advocating for EVERYONE to be driving.

Why are you so irrationally angry about this? I drive but I hate it so if my husband is around he drives as he doesn’t mind it. But it literally has nothing to do with you.

I can't drive because I never wanted to learn. Work within walking distance and great transport links. Couldn't afford to anyway. It's personal choice as to whether someone wants to learn to drive or not.

Some people just CAN'T grasp driving, they just simply can't. As driving means you're in control of a potential death machine, I'm quite happy for those who either feel like they can't do it or don't have enough confidence to do it not to, and I happily give people lifts. Better that than having people who are a danger on the road.

What's your problem?

I get it. My mil can drive, but won't. It's incredibly frustrating. She expects to be ferried everywhere. She will drive for work, but only short distances. Never on a motorway. She expects someone to take her food shopping. Etc. she would be at home and then expect my FIL to take her food shopping when he got home from work.

My fil can't do long distances anymore yet she is still reliant on him. My husband is now expected to pick up the slack.

I remember once my fil had a heart attack. I then went into labour 3 1/2 months early (luckily it stopped with intervention). My husband was still expected to pick up his mum and drive her to the hospital to see fil and then come back to me (we were at different hospitals) and then pick her up again at the end of the day!

I had lessons. I also nearly ran some people over. I don't think it's the best for anyone if I drive right now. HTH

Depends on your life doesn't it?

Can't think of many things that a driver can do that I can't simply because they have a car.

I know loads of men who can’t drive (and a few that just don’t). I don’t personally know any women that can’t but I have seen a woman pull up to the GP surgery in a taxi with her 3 kids a couple of times and I just think I’d absolutely be prioritising learning to drive if I was her.

The people I judge the most are parents that don’t prioritise driving lessons at 17 when they can clearly afford it. It’s an important life skill and I don’t understand parents that would rather spend their money on expensive holidays or a brand new phone for their teen when they turn 17 instead.

This. I can drive but only do it if I have to, if DH is with me he drives because I don't particularly like driving, especially if I don't know the roads.

I don't drive because I don't have the time to take lessons, I live close to a city centre with buses going in every direction every 5 minutes, I don't feel safe driving because of my medical condition even though I legally can and last of all, I just don't feel a need to. I don't want to pay for a car or finance, mot, fuel and tax just for it to sit on my already difficult to park on road 90% of the time.

But that's none of your business, it's my choice if I drive or not.

Oh I should add, I also live in a terraced house and it's my opinion that properties without a private driveway/garage shouldn't have a vehicle and parking on roads should be banned across the country but that's a whole different issue.

I'm the sole family driver (oldest child is 15 and chomping at the bit for a license - the age is 18 in Malta where we live!) My husband can't legally drive because of a disability. And yes, it's an invisible disability, and yes he has been abused for his lack of a driving license (when we lived in the USA, his coworkers spread rumours that he must have lost his license for drunk driving). I don't really care; he is good at other things that I'm bad at. And no, he can't just try harder and get over it.

You're possibly going to say that my husband isn't who you mean; he has a disability and we live in a place with excellent paratransit. But when you post this stuff, it whips up "y u no driiiive????" sentiment, and it does negatively impact people who CAN'T drive. It feels like you're using a nuclear weapon to swat a fly. Why not just say, hey people who live rurally and resent doing all the driving, is it possible that your partner could overcome his/her fears and do more?

Specifically, this is the part of your OP that I think is fucked up and hateful unrealistic: but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

Driving is terrible for the environment. Nothing to do with sex here.

I can drive and occasionally do, but my husband does almost all the driving in our family. I spent my post-test years in cities with excellent public transport and appalling traffic, so never got fully confident driving, while he lived in an area where it made sense for him to own a car and drive regularly, so built up confidence and skill. I particularly hate driving when anyone else is in the car as I get self-conscious and feel they're judging my driving! And all that added up to a self-perpetuating situation - he's more competent and confident so it's safer and less stressful for him to drive, so I don't get the practice. I also prefer to cycle (or combine bike and train) as much as I can for the fitness and environmental benefits and very rarely ask for lifts. Not sure much of that is a female/male thing though it has panned out that way for us.

Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able

😂😂 I’m sorry this really made me laugh!! 😂😂

I don’t know but I couldn’t imagine not being able to drive, I’m not particularly rural but I don’t live in a city and it would be a hassle to not be able to drive. My work commute is also only able to be done by driving. I imagine if you’re central London or Manchester there is so much accessible public transport it probably wouldn’t matter as much.

But I couldn’t rely on someone else for a car journey. It was just a natural thing for me to do at 17, learning to drive, I couldn’t wait to get my licence! So much freedom to go wherever you want whenever you want.

Got lessons, failed test.
Student, could afford it
Lived in London, couldn’t afford it
Moved from London started lessons
Diagnosed with epilepsy, took a long time to control it.
Worried about committing money to lessons/car when one seizure could take it away.
Was never discouraged as a woman to not drive.
Was I weedy? Not at first, later yes.
Made very sure my daughters learned.

I didn't learn to drive until late 20's. I tried at 17 but I hated it and found it very difficult. My spacial awareness is awful and I'm a nervous driver. I only went on to do it again as a lot of the jobs I was interested in required it.
At no point before that did I think I won't bother because I could have a man drive me around. I was happy using my legs and public transport. Now I can drive I couldn't imagine managing without a car, however, this is just because I'm so used to it. I got around very well without one and I don't live in a city.
It's odd that people chosing not to drive bothers you so much.

Why do you think women are persuaded of this? By whom? I have actually seen just as many threads by women on here who’s partners don’t drive tbh.

@nextdoorconundrum Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

Here, it almost sounds as if you are saying that people with disabilities can get their licence if they just put in a lot of work. But it's not a case of trying, it's a case of legality.

I know a guy who has a blind spot in his vision. Otherwise, he's mostly fine. But having that blind spot in his vision means legally, he's not allowed to drive.

Bcs I cannot be bothered.
I earn enough to pay people to drive me around.
Also, I cannot be bothered to stay sober at events and spend an hour pre and after driving people around bcs everyone wants a designated driver.

I am a woman.

Is it? Not in any world I have ever lived.

if it helps, i don't know any women in my older millennial cohort who cannot drive. my BIL on the otherhand could not drive when he met my DS. he eventually passed his test in his mid 30s :-)

@UnaOfStormhold I agree with what you’ve said. I am fortunate that most of my driving after my test was semi rural and less busy, smaller cities. This built up my confidence massively. I would say I’m a confident driver and I’ve driven all over, but driving in very busy congested cities or on large trunk roads that are congested with large roundabouts, I can get unsettled, especially when I don’t know where I’m going I find it quite stressful!