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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to exclude my friend from a holiday because she's got a boy?

574 replies

brownmouse · 16/04/2008 12:37

regular here blah blah (we need an acronym for this )

I have a small group of 4 friends, we all have 1 child of the same age (5)

One of us has a boy

I am arranging a summer break for us all but the three of us with girls really don't want the other person coming along. The girls play nicely together while we sit around talking. The boy is loud and whacks the girls and is constantly full of energy, and is constantly knocking into us, interupting our conversation.

We'd like a summer BREAK where we sit around while the girls play. If we invite the mum-of-boy it won't be a break, it will be noisy and stressful.

Should we arrange it and exclude her, or just invite her and accept that it will just be a child-focussed holiday?

OP posts:
bringmesunshine2009 · 17/06/2011 17:16

Oh bother, 2 years old thread? Why? Still wanna flame brownmouse. Bloody SMOG

pigletmania · 17/06/2011 17:17

This thread is 3,years old, why are we binging up old threads

differentnameforthis · 03/05/2017 04:06

Not really a group of 4 friends then, are you?

differentnameforthis · 03/05/2017 04:07

argh...

Nessie71 · 03/05/2017 05:27

Wait till the girls hit 7/8 years of age they will have so many fallings out..i have a girl.....Just think its a shitty thing to do..maybe the boy needs more male friends and finds girls boring.

Nessie71 · 03/05/2017 05:29

Didnt see the date...wonder if they went on holiday? Or are still friends?

barefoofdoctor · 03/05/2017 05:48

I don't think you ABU; if he alters the dynamic for the worse then obviously it won't be much of a holiday with him there, however if you go ahead with this holiday i'd be prepared to kiss goodbye to the friendship. Would he calm down a bit If the contact were prolonged? (maybe just excited seeing the other kids if it's an hour or 2 playdate, but will possibly settle if with them longer?). Would a magically refilling hip flask of alcoholic beverage help?

Friolero · 03/05/2017 06:04

ZOMBIE THREAD!!

greyffinch · 03/05/2017 06:15

I don't think you are unreasonable, OP. I have been in a bit dissimilar position; we have a holiday home and often invite fri new to join us there. We have friends with two children and they are sweet children but cry and whinge constantly. They are very hard work. They cry because they are tired, hungry, hurt, upset, not eating what they want, not doing what they want. I don't blame the parents, who do everything they can to model good behavior and discipline their children. But their kids are Hard Work. Both of them. Both NT. We have decided not to invite them for long weekends anymore as it is just awful for us and for our children.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 06:17

Aww a 9 year old zombie thread..

I had a 9 year old and a 6 year old back then.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 06:18

I do the think it's worth replying to the OP somehow.....

greyffinch · 03/05/2017 06:20

Bloody zombie threads! Who does this??

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 06:22

Looks like it got a bump 6 years ago too. Bizarre.

Vroomster · 03/05/2017 06:24

Why would you bump a 9 year old thread? Hmm

Kannet · 03/05/2017 06:25

I actually do see where you are coming from. My friends and I all have kids of similar ages( mix of boys and girls) one of the little boys is horrible behaved, he kicks and hits the other children, it's so hard arranging get togethers as the other kids simply don't want to play with him.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 06:27

Not a clue Vroomster. The threads should be locked IMO.

People just reply to the OP without RTFT.

greyffinch · 03/05/2017 06:28

I did read the thread but I did not read the dates!

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 06:29

I wonder if the boy is still being left out now age 14. Sad

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/05/2017 06:36

This is either a reverse or a wind up, and. To give you the benefit of the doubt for 1 minute. If this real. Do you honestly think anyone is going to say
Oh it's fine to exclude your friend because of the gender of her child.
You sound like a bunch of 5 year old babies playing house. Grow up ffs.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 06:44

It's could be either. It's a ZOMBIE too.

Penhacked · 03/05/2017 06:52

I do get it. We have a friend's child who always winds the other boys up. That's an age difference though rather than a gender difference. Does he have an older little friend who could come along? Someone who would be ok away from home? Otherwise I think the answer is to go somewhere where there is energetic stuff for him to do.

Penhacked · 03/05/2017 06:53

Ah bloody zombie

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 06:53
Snog · 03/05/2017 06:58

I think it's fine to go on holiday with whoever you like and if you want a relaxing holiday then don't go in the company of unrelaxing people.
Your friend may feel excluded and hurt but presumably you would be ok with her going on hols with other people and not inviting you along?
If people's kids are hard work I think it's absolutely fine to limit the time you spend with their kids and try to see more of them without their kid.

Jamhandprints · 03/05/2017 06:58

I have 2 boisterous boys aged 3 and 5. Sometimes I cry because I don't have the energy to keep up with them. I'm so tired. I'm glad my friends aren't like you. :-(

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