Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

Oh give over, looking after kids is just hard work, it not exactly mentally taxing. I cooked with mine, painted, took them out, blah blah domestic goddess, blah blah, and managed to study for a degree around them. A bit of ironing whilst singing nursery rhymes (or whatever) isn’t beyond the wit of womanhood. All this ‘hardest job in the world’ is crap.

If he was at work full time in a busy job and I was at home, yes, I'd probably iron his work shirts for him, but I wouldn't want it to be an expectation - if I couldn't get round to it one day for whatever reason, then he'd do it without making a fuss.

I wouldn't do t shirts because I fundamentally disagree that they need ironing in the first place and I'd feel it was a completely pointless exercise!

I have two toddlers and already do the vast majority of the housework and cooking - no chance would I be doing my husband's ironing right now. He's never asked me to, to be fair.

Maybe when they're older I might offer... or maybe not

No other half does his own ironing, I did it once or twice and apparently to don't do it to his standard 🤣

Nope. 2 small children, pregnant and in this heat. You will swell like a balloon.

I have never ironed my DPs clothes regularly.

Only if he was chocker in work and needed his uniform for the next day. Or to help him out a bit.

He has a different uniform now that doesn't need ironing. I don't even iron the bedding anymore.

If he’s out at work 8am-6pm then you should also be doing as much work as you can in those hours. Your main job is childcare plus as much of the other stuff as you can manage. You’re not the maid, but it’s reasonable for you to do as much as you can.

If you’re sitting around during the day with free time (especially if kids are at nursery) then YABU not to do tasks like shopping and ironing etc. Refusing to do any ironing at all, ever, is completely unreasonable - if the task needs doing then everyone should take a turn.

Do you love him?

I aren't a sahm, but I don't iron. Anything ever. If someone wanted something ironing here, they'd iron it themselves.

I'm a SAHM and I don't own an iron

I do it.
I know on mumsnet 'you don't need to iron anything' but in real life there are many clothes that just look better ironed. And shirts definitely have to be ironed.

You have little kids. How much other housework does he do? Obviously you should do all you can while he is out at work, but you are not a house elf…

It's mentally taxing because it's 24/7. I say that as someone who has had a high flying career and been a SAHM, I know which I've found easier. Also you obviously didn't read the post I was replying to which was actually pretty insulting.

He can do it himself. His clothes, his problem, the lazy fuck.

If my partner allowed me to be a SAHM then I would absolutely do his ironing, as I think that’s part of the laundry which is part of your job as a SAHM.

If you really hate it though (not sure why you would) then he is more than capable of doing it himself.

On the weekends, neither of you are working and you’re both equally as responsible for parenting and household tasks as the other.

He should be doing half the housework and laundry on the weekends and there’s no reason he can’t spend 20mins ironing his own shirts.

Your role as a SAHM is to carry the domestic load while he brings in the finances. If he needs ironed shirts for work then you should iron them.

I would iron his stuff if you do it anyway if you are doing it, but it doesn't sound like you do it frequently. He can do it himself if that's the case. I've never ironed clothes but I don't wear shirts and stuff that creases. DH will iron something for me if I ask him, whether I'm working or not. My mum irons socks, life's too short in my opinion!

My cleaner irons his shirts. I only iron my kids' clothes 😂

I once asked my sahm friends what it was like in their homes and either their housekeepers did the ironing, or their DHs used the dry cleaners.

What does that mean? Loving someone doesn't mean you have to do all the shit jobs for them.

I did DH’s work shirts but nothing else for him. Did all the kids stuff. Now I just pop everything into the drier for 12 minutes, shake and hang and it doesn’t need ironing.

Good Lord, what century have I stumbled into on this thread with some of these posts?
'My role' ???
'Luxury of being a SAHM' ???
Good grief.

I was a SAHM for a little while when our kids were small. Then he was SAHF. We both worked PT and FT ever since the kids started school.

Husband was keen for me to iron his work shirts when we first got together and when I was SAHM. Well I didn't feel like it. Because guess what, my work (and yes, bringing up children, cooking and cleaning etc etc etc is work too) took up waaay more of the day than his job did. (And no, I am not inefficient in case anyone is wondering.)
So why in hell would I want to add to my work hours doing bloody ironing?

Ironing isn't someone's job simply because they are a SAHM or a SAHF.

Division of labour is surely what the actual issue is here?

I don't iron. DH does his own if he wants to, which is only for very special occasions 😅 we usually buy the shirts that don't need ironing if you hang them. Some fabrics are shocking for creases.

I never have ironed a thing for DH in 30 years.

👏👏👏
Apparently it's the fathers financial burden 🤣

The stay at home parent needs to be doing either childminding or more than half the domestic load. That does not necessarily include ironing. If you hate it he can do it or he can, say, clean the kitchen floor while you do it or he can pay to outsource it, there is often someone willing to collect and return if you ask around.

If he pulls his weight elsewhere I might do it but not otherwise.

(Although wasn't SAHM)