Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

I honestly wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I didn’t work. Yes I would do the ironing, as it is now we both work full time and will just take it in turns.

There's no set tasks you have to do as a SAHM. Ironing isn't part of a role that we must all abide by.

I'm a SAHM and I do as much as I can fit in, while also looking after our child. My husband does the same when he gets home from work.

Sometimes I iron, sometimes he does. It's not a battle or a big deal.

Did we all have more time while juggling our job online and the dc at home instead of at childcare? Did we really?

No way. I'm a SAHM and DH can do his own ironing! You're a mum, not a maid. Do the ironing if you have lots of spare time and he pulls his weight, but I doubt this is the case

Never ever would I iron DH's clothes. He does his own laundry. Always.

Well the op is looking after her two DC so that's what she's doing.

Or not ironed, but it never needed ironing anyway so she incorrectly puts them in the 'ironed' group.

What she means is she can tell the difference between people with creased clothes and people whose clothes don't have creases. Like everyone with good eyesight can.

No idea whether they've ironed or not though!

I find some of these posts implying it’s luxurious and a doddle to stay at home and a wife needs to show her gratitude etc a little depressing and retrograde.

When one parent stays at home it should make both parents lives easier but that they have less money. It doesn’t mean the person who stays at home needs to do absolutely everything else.

It can be difficult to negotiate who does what and it probably does start off with the assumption that the majority of housework etc falls to the person who stays at home but they do not became the other person’s servant at all! Isn’t it supposed to work on equal leisure time?

I hated being a SAHM and it did so much damage to my marriage so possibly that has somewhat tainted my advice - but as soon as it stops being a partnership and becomes where one person is in a position of authority and the other in a position of gratitude then it can become totally fucked up.

If you have time to do the ironing and can bring yourself to do it then do it, if you really hate it, maybe do something at the weekend that he has to do and so he then has time to do the ironing but I strongly advise against going down this idea that you do absolutely everything and he does nothing - I think it destroys respect and self-respect and can make you feel like his mother - god, I’m projecting - sorry. Good luck with it - and if you’ve got the money just send it out and save yourself the arguing

I do the ironing for myself, H and three kids. I did while being a SAHM and I do it now I work part-time. I just always thought it was part of my role tbh! Plus H would never bother to iron and I don't what the kids looking untidy! It is very tedious though OP so I know what you mean.

When I was SAHM I did all the ironing and most housework

DH did all the decortating/diy/car stuff. Washing up etc and dealing with kids was shared when he was home

Now - he irons and has done for years

I had 3 under 3 and didn't do dh'a ironing when they were little. Now my children are older I do it all and quite enjoy it as I watch old movies while I iron. It takes an awful lot of time though - at least 5 /6 hours a week.

Do you have children? If you do you'd realise that if OP is doing a good job at her job as a SAHM, she probably has no time for this. If you do, I'd assume your kids are in childcare so you have no clue what it actually takes 🙄

Well, we certainly weren’t ironing while we were out at work pre-Covid.
So being at home at least placed us in closer proximity to the iron and ironing board for more hours of the day 🤷‍♀️.

SAHM stands for stay at home mum, not stay at home does everything for everyone.

You're looking after two children and you’re pregnant. That’s a full plate as far as I’m concerned. What’s he gestating that stops him picking up the iron? And no, you don’t have to iron school uniform. Or anything, ever. I only keep an iron in the house for DIY like hemming eBay curtains and pressing seams.

No way that’s not household work. That’s his work. If he was self employed would you also do his tax return for him???

if you were ironing your stuff then I’d say do a equal number of his items but if you don’t deem ironing necessary for you then it’s HIS personal preference for his and not in your jurisdiction as a SAHM.

im starting to think twice even about folding my partners stuff off the washing line. I spent ages doing his and the kids and always do mine last (I wear less clothes and get through less washing if my clothes) but it’s always mine that’s last to be put away after I’ve done everyone else’s mines always left in a pile tile tomorrow

SAHM for 19 years, DH does his own ironing - although when he was working, it was the only domestic thing he did! I don’t buy clothes that need ironing and I always hung the kids uniform shirts so they didn’t need ironing. You can look for a service that irons shirts or try the weaponised incompetence thing: iron a couple really badly 😂

Your role as a woman?

When is OP watching television? Did you miss the part that she has two kids? And one on the way?

Not necessarily my school uniform didn’t need ironing was just polo shirt and sweater.

Noooo! As a stay at home mum/parent.

That sounds a dangerous policy

Ironing isn’t necessary to health. The person who wants it done, does it. I iron pillowcases, tablecloths, and handkerchiefs (including DH’s). And I will stand over and advise any men of the household requiring an interview shirt or similar.

I’m not a SAHM, but I used to iron the kids’ clothes. My husband and I would iron our own as and when it was needed and he would do his own shirts or take them to the dry cleaners.

I send the ironing our. But I work from home now too abs 4 kids.
It's only dhs stuff I send for ironing. But when eldest starts secondary I will send his shirts too.

It was the compromise because I was spending hours ironing. Dh wanted a cleaner, I didn't want that. So we sent the ironing out instead.

Yes, why not?

If he wants stuff ironed he should do it himself or send it out and pay for it.
nothing to do with SAHM or not. You hate ironing so that’s that.