Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

And what has that got to do with anything?

I love my husband but if he wants to wear wrinkly shirts that’s his lookout.

I work directly with a bloke who I would guess is paid £1m a year and his wife doesn’t really work and even he irons his own shirts.

Are you a stay at home mum or a stay at home wife? Look after the kids and your husband can look after himself.

@NuffSaidSam those wrinkles are a dead giveaway to fair 🙄 ironed T-shirts and shirts have a clear line down the sleeve. It’s very obvious, I don’t need to ask at all!

This 👆

I didn’t do the ironing when a SAHM or wash his work shirts because he was so fucking particular about how they had to be placed in the machine.

Yes, I would go the ironing.

If you don't ask, you can't possibly know whether you're right or wrong.

And badly ironed shirts have a line down the sleeve, not well ironed ones!

I quite like ironing in front of the TV but I have no time to do it. When my dc were little I also didn't did time to do it. We just pay someone else to do it.

I don't think your dh's expectation that because you are home you should do it is acceptable.

No,I always watch TV while ironing. I do avoid anything with subtitles, but I manage to alternate looking at the screen and at my ironing.

My cleaner did the ironing or ironing service. my job was to look after the dcs. Not iron. Now I’ve bought a hand held steamer - game changer.

I don't really understand the "if you're doing it anyway, do his too" posts - it clearly takes more time to do more.

I also don't think SAHM automatically means all domestic responsibilities, it means whatever you negotiate as a couple.

We don't have a SAHP but if we did, for us it would be about spending time and focus on the children, not the housework. During maternity leave, I didn't see why my DH was suddenly unable to do the chores he had been doing when I was working and he continued doing them.

Obviously it's a bit different if the kids are in school but the OP has little ones at home.

Well, I did when I wa on my first mat leave, but DH woke me one morning to ‘point out’ that I had ironed a wrinkle into the collar of the shirt and to tell me what I’d done wrong. I was a) heavily pregnant and b) asleep. I told him he could iron them himself from then on. So, he does all the ironing, which at peak school days was 20 shirts a week. It is pretty much his sole contribution to household tasks.

I iron all my clothes, but don't add pleats to tops if that's what you mean by the line down the sleeve.
I can't manage men's shirts - too difficult!

Given he's entirely funding your life, fair enough you do a bit of ironing. If you don't like it, you could get a job and share household tasks more evenly.

Are you really and truly actually implying that if she doesn't iron his shirts she doesn't love him?

Ah well there in is the difference. My SAHM role was mainly office hours. My DH came home and we shared the jobs. He didn’t come in and kick off his shoes and sit down with his pipe and slippers. Our house rule is one up, all up. I did have to feed DC in the night as DH lacked the equipment, but apart from that he pulled his weight. No I didn’t sit down during the day (ever), but again, it’s not taxing, relentless, yes, but and it can be boring if you don’t plan stuff. I’d love to know what highflying is.

I was a SAHM for 7 years then worked p/t and finally full time. I always did the ironing but on a few occasions he did when I had forgotten. I didn’t hate it though, just watched tv at 5he same time. . He had a job where he had to dress smartly and it provided a great income. We are both retired now and hardly anything needs ironing now so I mostly do it. However get hubby to clean his shower tray in his own bathroom as I absolutely hate cleaning bathrooms. I do clean his sink, toilet and floor though.

I’m a SAHM and nobody irons anything in my house. We can’t be bothered. Clothes look fine without it.

Yes, you are not only a shame but a sahw/p. It's part of your role as homemaker even if you don't like it.
The pregnancy is irrelevant, you could have done it before you were heavily pregnant.

If your children are at home with you, you have a full time job so no, I don't think it's reasonable to expect you to do the ironing. If they are at school I think I'd probably do the ironing.

And she is looking after his kids so he can work.

Neither of us irons. We buy clothes that don’t need ironing.

She has a job, she’s providing full time childcare for their young children and growing a new one. How much would that cost a family to outsource?

He must really enjoy it. Ironing services would cost peanuts to him and they pick up and deliver.

Really? I wouldn't be seen dead in an un-ironed tee shirt.

🙄