Should a sahm do dh ironing?

[crocly]

I have 2 small children and one due in October and I hate ironing.
I haven't ironed dh shirts in about a year since I told him I was not going to do it.
The ironing pile has grown over the past year and dh is complaining he has no clothes and he keeps asking for them to be ironed and nothings been ironed in a year.
It's all his T-shirts I don't iron my clothes and I don't iron the children's unless it's a particular item that needs it.
I am a sahm at the moment but I really don't like ironing and nor does he am I right to refuse as he wears it, he irons it or is this just part of my role as a sahm?

It is a LUXURY to have someone else bring in earned income. To allow those who wish to stay at home. I didn’t once say it wasn’t hard. I asked, what’s a few shirts when you live off of someone else going to work for a living.

Absolutely not. Unless you want to. But otherwise no. No way is this part of the role of a SAHM. He wants to wear clothes that require ironing, and to have them ironed, he irons them. Or pays someone to do it.

Nope. No way.

(I have never been a SAHM)

@Namechangey23 · Today 21:11

What's wrong with everyone doing their own washing/ironing I ask you? Far far too many women playing 'mummy' to their DH, washing the skiddies off their boxers! 🤢 It's really no wonder some nem even now in 2024 act like helpless little children. Then the women are on here complaining their men are useless and don't help?! I will be training my boys to cook, clean, read a clothes label, wash and dry their own clothes, have a work ethic etc when they are old enough so there will be no excuse of weaponized incompetence or relying on a partner to do everything for them. It's about time all the male section of the species evolved past being a domestic parasite.

What a ridiculous, far-fetched, silly, histrionic post, in response to what is a simple expectation for a woman who is a stay-at-home-mum to iron her husband's clothes. Doing this for your husband is NOT making men useless and 'not evolving as a male species,' and an utter parasite FFS. 🙄 And saying individuals in the family should do their own washing? Instead of putting it all together to save on water and washing powder? WTF are you on about? What a ridiculous post.

And despite the posters saying 'being a SAHM is NOT easy!' Well it's not exactly hard! Once your kids are at school, it's the best life. I have done it. (Did it for 10 years, before going back to work part time.) If it IS hard, then it's because you're choosing for it to be.

And as I and many others have said, feel free to go out to work then, if your life as a SAHM is SUCH a challenge. Oh wait, when anyone is suggesting this, the SAHMs on here are coming out with multiple excuses why they can't. 'Oh childcare is soooooooo expensive, it wouldn't be worth it.' If you were so desperate to work, you wouldn't care if you only just broke even after childcare. Also, once they're at school, the childcare costs drop dramatically. So stop making excuses. If you're a SAHM, it's because you CHOOSE to be one.

Nothing wrong with being a SAHM, and I applaud anyone doing it if they are able, but don't try and make out it's some massive arduous task. It's a much easier life than a working mother. And I have done both (as I said.) So don't point at me and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about!

You do realise there's other options besides having a career and being a 50s housewife?

What misogynistic language you use - “histrionic”. Maybe look up what that word means.

Of course but this isn't a choice between working and doing exactly what you want.

Having a SAHM is a luxury. For the rest of the family, not for the SAHM.

🤔 If my husband had given me his ironing and suggested it’s my job, because I live off him, then that would be a hard no, I’m afraid.

YOU need to look it up mate. It means 'overly theatrical and attention-seeking behaviour designed to attract attention.' Nothing to do with misogyny ...

Get your facts straight before you post in future.

Of course they do. Weekends, annual leave, nights, mornings, evenings etc not to mention the fact that the majority of women who go back to work, go back part time.

I’m a SAHM, but my husband washes everything that doesn’t go in the dishwasher because he knows that’s my most-hated job.

The “job description” of being a SAHM is that you look after the kids and/or house while your husband is at work. Not that you have to do every single chore around the house. He can do this one.

I did. But I bet those woman who want careers, if you offered them the same salary in the bank to stay home look after the kids and household they would. Well a large chunk of them would do it. Offer me my salary to care give and iron shirts… sign me up!

I don't think anyone is talking about maternity leave with their first baby I think their talking about maternity leave with their 2nd/3rd/4th baby so you are essentially a sahm for 9month/ a year so yes most of us have experience being a sahm even if we do work.

All the nopes in the entire world. Life is too short for ironing. If he wants to then he can.

Your role is childcare that's where your priorities are. Anything outside of that is a wonderful extra that shouldn't be expected but appreciated if it helps keep family life running smoothy. If all you manage is to keep the kids alive fed happy then mission accomplished.

As soon as they are in bed you both tackle jobs as a team or outsource if you can. Ironing t shirts when you don't iron as a family anyway only benefits him so he can do it. When you have young children in the trenches save your time and energy for the bigger picture.

Personally we don't even own a ironing board. Life has gone on not a single consequence from never ironing accept for more time and energy back.

I think the fact most people keep their older kid in childcare, when they have their second means being a SAHM isn't a walk in the park. Personally I found under 18m easy, but they got harder after that. It also seems people have different definitions of what that actually means, seen one person upthread who says it's easy once your kids are in school. Well yes, of course it is! 🙄🤣

@Differentstarts hell, most people can barely cope in the holidays! But yes, it's sooo easy

then why do it? Surely there are other options if you don’t like providing this way for your family?

I work part time and I iron all family clothes but I hate ironing shirts so I have these ironed by someone else and they do a much better job!

I hate ironing, I have been known to hide it in the car when guests came for dinner.

I also hate wrinkled clothes, so I do iron most things (I love the feel of freshly washed & ironed sheets on the bed.
DH (of over 30 years) point blank refuses to do it (there have been many rows). However he is brilliant at lots of other stuff DIY, great dad, housework, mends the car, so I do it.
My compromise was to buy the best iron my DH could afford and it makes a huge difference. It's a steam generator that gets through a pile of ironing pretty fast. It cost an ungodly £300 but it's the Ferrari of the ironing world.

I save up a Netflix series to iron to & that makes it bearable-just.

What do you mean by "those women"? Mothers? Just because someone stays at home for a couple of years while their children are very young it doesn't mean they prefer it to their career and don't want to go back to it. I didn't think it best for my children to be in full time childcare when they were very young.

You're being a very lazy sahm. Your job is to cook, clean, wash and iron and raise the kids. That's what sahm do.

“Those woman” being the women who want careers. (Referring to your 1950’s comment).

Some people will find it easier than others because people are different, including children. Not to mention different circumstances as well.

I haven't found it particularly difficult so far. Of course, that may very well change since mine are still young.

Believe it or not women don't have to go along with what you think is a simple expectation.
The OP expects him to do it and he won't either.
So therefore he has no clothes to wear seeing as he won't iron them. Boo hoo very sad.

I know several working mothers who have said they could never go back to being a SAHM and they found it tedious and soul destroying.

Your experience is not the universal experience of all women. (Hard as that may be for you to believe).

What's a few shirts to him when she takes care of the rest of the house and the kids the rest of the time?