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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend asking for money after a night out

175 replies

aloneintheether · 14/08/2024 20:07

A fairly new friendship.. went for a night out together for the first time. We were trying to take turns in buying drinks but had both had a lot to drink so might have not stuck to it towards the end of the night. Next day she messaged me with a screenshot of her bank account saying she feels like she might have bought more drinks and because she's broke, would I mind giving her money to cover for half of the night's costs.

I was a bit put out because I've never really come across anything like this and felt we had taken turns paying. I know I'm more well off than her but feel like if a friend knows she'll struggle to afford a night out she should either not go or communicate it beforehand where I then get a chance to offer to pay more if that's what I want to do. Also we'd had a disagreement during the night where she wanted to go to a nightclub where the crowd was 20 years younger than us and I wanted to go home. I insisted for long time that I didn't want to go but she kept pushing and in the end said she'd pay the entrance fee for both of us if I'd go in. Entrance fee for both of us was 16 pounds.

After her asking I checked my account and had spent a lot of money, although 10 pounds less than her. So really I shouldn't owe her anything with her having insisted she'd pay for that entrance fee. She still insisted it wasn't fair and that I went to the club as well and should pay the same as her.

I'm really not bothered about the money at all but more about the weirdness and pettiness of it and of being drawn into something like this. AIBU to feel a bit weirded out by this?

OP posts:
yeesh · 14/08/2024 20:08

I wouldn’t go out with her again tbh.

PlantDoctor · 14/08/2024 20:08

Just tell her what you've said here. You spent £10 less than her (explained by the entry). She's just feeling remorseful now the alcohol has worn off. Been there as a student, but never tried to push it onto someone else!

She's a bit daft to waste her last few quid on a boozy night out though.

Saltedbutter · 14/08/2024 20:09

Send her the fiver difference and cut ties!

steff13 · 14/08/2024 20:09

If it would only take five pounds to make it even, I'd send her that. Then you're square.

Wishimaywishimight · 14/08/2024 20:10

It is petty but I would transfer the money rather than argue over a few pounds. I would be disinclined to socialise with her in future though.

Lovelynames123 · 14/08/2024 20:10

So if you were to square things up you'd need to give her £5? If I were her I'd be embarrassed to ask for £5, and if £5 makes so much difference to her she probably shouldn't be going on big nights out.

So YANBU, this would put me off a new friend

Mrsknowitall · 14/08/2024 20:10

I’d also send £5 then distance myself

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 14/08/2024 20:11

I'd say to her I spent £10 less than you and you insisted on going to the club and paying entry because I didn't react to go, so actually it's me that's out of pocket, but if it's so important to you I'll send you a fiver so we've spent the same. I don't think we will be going on any other nights out.

If she's that broke why is she going out spending a fortune?!

Pettyhangingbaskets · 14/08/2024 20:11

Send her your own statement and say that you’ll pay the fiver

itsmylife7 · 14/08/2024 20:11

send her your club entrance fee and never go our with her again.

KreedKafer · 14/08/2024 20:12

Good grief! I wouldn’t be friends with her for much longer.

TomatoSandwiches · 14/08/2024 20:12

Is she asking for £5 or asking for you to cover half of everything she spent that night?

Maria1979 · 14/08/2024 20:13

Definitely send her a fiver and then ghost her. She lacks manners and doesnt seem very intelligent either. No loss.

shuffleofftobuffalo · 14/08/2024 20:14

Also a vote for send her £5 and distance yourself.

But - to clarify, is £5 what she's expecting or is she asking you to pay 50% of what she spent in total?

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 14/08/2024 20:14

Agree with everyone else. Send her the £5 and then cut ties

NearlySeptember · 14/08/2024 20:15

Doesn't she owe you £6 then if she was supposed to pay for the club?

Shinyandnew1 · 14/08/2024 20:15

Reply saying, ‘I only went to the club because you said you’d pay my entry, I told you I didn’t want to go! You spent £100, I spent £90. I’ll send you £5 if that’s what you really want?’

Then never go out drinking with her again.

Wahine24 · 14/08/2024 20:15

Send her the link to this thread :)
She's rude , do not fund her night out

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 14/08/2024 20:15

Even if she had in fact spent much more than you, she's an adult and responsible for her own spending?

Don't send her any money at all. Especially not half of what she has spent, as there is very little difference in what you've each spent.

BobbyBiscuits · 14/08/2024 20:15

If she's saying she wants you to pay half of her entire costs for the night, on top of the drinks you already bought her then that's ridiculous. That would mean she'd make a profit!

If she literally wants a tenner then I'd give her it.
But she sounds a pain, dragging you to some cheesy club you didn't want to attend, refusing your request to go home.

I had a mate like that. She ordered loads of food in a restaurant that I didn't want or eat, then next day, hungover af comes at me saying I owe her for the dinner? That I'd already paid half for?

I didn't hang out with her again after that night.

msbevvy · 14/08/2024 20:17

She pestered you to go to the club and then hasn't even covered the cost of it as she said she would. If she had done that she would have spent £16 more than you.

If you take the £16 club money off her total she actually spent £6 less than you on drinks

loropianalover · 14/08/2024 20:17

Just send her a fiver and delete her number.

goingdownfighting · 14/08/2024 20:17

I'd send her a fiver.

DaniMontyRae · 14/08/2024 20:17

Given she said she would pay the club fee then it looks like you have bought more rounds of drinks over the night (assuming you were drinking the same). If anything she owes you money as, if you had bought rounds equally, she would have spent £32 more than you.

OnAndOnAndonAgain · 14/08/2024 20:18

If i could afford it I'd send her the money for my club enterence while telling her I'd only spent £10 less than her and she was supposed to cover that as you didn't want to go

Then I'd never go out with her again