Friend asking for money after a night out

[aloneintheether]

A fairly new friendship.. went for a night out together for the first time. We were trying to take turns in buying drinks but had both had a lot to drink so might have not stuck to it towards the end of the night. Next day she messaged me with a screenshot of her bank account saying she feels like she might have bought more drinks and because she's broke, would I mind giving her money to cover for half of the night's costs.

I was a bit put out because I've never really come across anything like this and felt we had taken turns paying. I know I'm more well off than her but feel like if a friend knows she'll struggle to afford a night out she should either not go or communicate it beforehand where I then get a chance to offer to pay more if that's what I want to do. Also we'd had a disagreement during the night where she wanted to go to a nightclub where the crowd was 20 years younger than us and I wanted to go home. I insisted for long time that I didn't want to go but she kept pushing and in the end said she'd pay the entrance fee for both of us if I'd go in. Entrance fee for both of us was 16 pounds.

After her asking I checked my account and had spent a lot of money, although 10 pounds less than her. So really I shouldn't owe her anything with her having insisted she'd pay for that entrance fee. She still insisted it wasn't fair and that I went to the club as well and should pay the same as her.

I'm really not bothered about the money at all but more about the weirdness and pettiness of it and of being drawn into something like this. AIBU to feel a bit weirded out by this?

This person is ridiculous. Tell her to Fuck off, then block her. She’s not a friend, she’s a leech!

As everyone else has said send her the measly £5 and then never go out with her again, she sounds like a complete idiot

No, no, No!

When dealing with CFs like this, I love to disarm them by agreeing with them.
’Hey, I bought way more drinks, can you transfer me your share?’
’Yes, same! Didn’t want to go to the club, so can you transfer me the £16, and I’ll send you the £5 drinks difference? I completely agree we way overspent. Glad you brought it up tbh as I didn’t want to appear mean’

Exactly!!!!!

This is why i buy my own drinks all night i hate this rounds shit

She said she'd pay for the entrance fee but maybe not the drinks inside though so you should pay for those.

So in your scenario, if I'm out with a friend and they want to go somewhere with an entrance fee that I don't particularly want to go to, but they really really do so they tell me they'll pay the entrance fee for both of us. I then have to pay for ALL drinks for both of us ALL NIGHT because despite them being the one wanting to go and them convincing me to go, I'm the one who will get left out of pocket??? What if I don't want to drink? Do I still need to pay for all my friends drinks??

"We had such a wild night! I can't believe we spent so much money. I had a look and actually I spent the same as you and am now thoroughly broke too, sorry! If I paid you half again then I'll have paid for 75% of the night out and I just don't have that sort of money."

Don't mention the £10 as actually she should have spent £8 more than you if she was paying your entry into the club. She has probably rounded up too...

I'd send her a fiver to split the difference and keep the peace. But I probably wouldn't rush to go out with her again any time very soon.

This is perfect!

It's done now, you've settled the difference and put your point across that you did not in fact, owe her anything.

Time to pull back from the friendship or adjust your boundaries so she doesn't have the opportunity to upset you again.

You spent a similar amount and she offered to pay for the club that you didn’t even want to go to! So no, you don’t have to send her any money.

Not really.
OP says 'Entrance fee for both of us was 16 pounds'
I read that as both cost £16 together, not each. So £16 total spent by friend not £32. Not everyone else can be wrong.

I don't engage in friendships that I don't have a good feeling about. I'm friendly but will brush off any requests for a night out. I don't normally have any childcare anyway, so it's easy for me. I only have a select few friends that I have known forever.

I wouldn’t over think it, she’s clearly struggling for money but maybe she needed a night out to relax especially if she doesn’t go out much.
If I could afford to I would willingly help out a friend in need, without a doubt.

Think of it costing you £5 to learn who she is and being able to take a step back. She is having drunkards remorse. At least if she has a fiver you know she is able to buy bread and milk so no guilt required

I couldn't have a friend like that this

Yep, same here. You don’t need CF’s like this in your life. Send her the £5 difference and confirm that you spent only £10 less than her. Then avoid like the plague.

So tell her you have checked your account and you only spent £2 less than her on drinks in total. You can transfer her £1 if she would like, to make it even. Ignore the £8 entrance fee. She said she’d pay it.

Send her a fiver and delete her number. What a pr*ck!!!!

Don't give her any money.

Don't go out with her again.

Always buy your own drinks when out - drinking in "rounds" always means someone ends up paying more.

How old is she OP?

She must surely know that the friendship is ruined after she did this. Is she really so desparate for a few quid that she'd risk a friendship? Thats just crazy.

I agree, and never do rounds with her again

I’d send her the £5 but I really don’t think I’d go out with her again.

It seems as some of your tastes are different too if she’s wanting to go to a nightclub for much younger people and you don’t want to do that.