Told to fuck off at bed time as partner watching TV

[MM1972]

My partner has 2 weeks off work. I am still working.

I was exhausted earlier having nodded off on the sofa. I brushed my teeth and went to the bedroom ready to collapse into bed.

My partner was watching TV with our daughter. I was told they were going to continue watching it.

Ir has been an ongoing theme when I've been wanting to go to bed and my partner gets cross at me for wanting the TV in the bedroom to be switched off. Usually there is an argument and eventually the TV is switched off. I strongly dislike pre-bed arguments. The unnecessary adrenaline keeps me awake.

Tonight it was clear there wasn't going to be an argument. I was told point blank the TV was staying on. I could not even get into bed as our daughter was on my side.

I got dressed and went to a house I own 40 miles away which is also closer to my work.

I feel like the TV in the bedroom is a becoming deal breaker for me. Am I being unreasonable to expect the TV to be switched off without argument when I want to go to sleep?

The other options for me are sleeping on a reclining chair in the living room or staying in my own house all the time. Alternatively the TV could be removed from the bedroom (my preferred option).

I know a large part of the reasoning for my partners divorce was their TV habits. Specifically that they did nothing except watch TV. I have some hobbies which I enjoy doing myself, so my partner watching TV doesn't bother me so much except when it interferes with my sleep.

TV in the bedroom would be an absolute deal breaker for me, it's like torture.

What does he actually bring to your life?

I hate tvs in bedrooms anyway.. bed is for sleep or sex! They should definitely watch tv in lounge if you need to sleep it's very selfish of them

Why on earth can't they watch TV in a different room?

Assuming there is space for the TV to go elsewhere, I would be saying no TV at all in the bedroom.

For all those who say cut of the plug, does no one know how to wire a plug anymore?

Regardless of the situation, if a partner of mine cut the plug off anything I was using, a fuse and a new plug would be on it within 10 minutes.

I keep a store of them in case something blows a fuse and have stupid plugs where you can't get at the fuse.

He's completely unreasonable. The bedroom is for sleeping so the person who wants to sleep has priority!
He also sounds very disrespectful and he's teaching your daughter to disrespect you too.

Please say you can see that this man is abusive and this is an awful relationship for your child to grow up in, and aren't actually considering buying a house with him?

Your DP has no respect for you, the fact that you need sleep for work, and no respect for your Dd in being verbally abusive in front of the child.

Is your DP doing the school holiday childcare?

You clearly need to discuss this with DP-having to go to another house because you can't sleep in your own bed is ridiculous.

TV's in bedrooms are unreasonable full stop

Hm, I think you are both really unreasonable. If my partner was asleep on the couch and I wanted to watch a movie with my child I may have gone to the bedroom to do so and not disturb you. If I was then watching the movie and you eventually came in the bedroom demanding the TV to be switched off because you were now going to bed in the bedroom I would be very WTAF as well.

I assume your daughter goes to her own bed later - he’s a selfish twunt isn’t he and it’s not acceptable - you need to decide if you want to remain with him and you need to think about what messages he’s giving your daughter.

OP has not specified that the partner is male

Honestly op. Instead of these petty arguments , in front of your kid, sit down and talk. If the tv in the bedroom is a point of contention then you need to either remove it or come up with a set of rules you both agree to ie it goes off by x time.

of course they were not going to move mid movie, you knew this. Moving through to another tv is a pain, it means stopping the movie, finding it on the next tv and then possibly fast forwarding to where you were, and they were both comfy_ So when they started the movie you should have said please watch this in the living room so I can go to bed at x time , rather than ask them to move in the middle. It’s a small flat. You all knew.

you need to communicate better, compromise and set some rules you both agree to.

You're being unreasonable - because under no circumstances should you have a TV in a bedroom - it's your own fault for allowing it.

Clearly you are not being unreasonable.

This is cruel behaviour from your partner and show a complete lack of respect for you. If would be bad enough if they didn’t respect your need to sleep if the bedroom TV was the only TV, but there fact that there is another TV that they won’t decamp to is baffling to me.

TV in the bedroom is kind of a deal breaker for me. Me and my husband had one years ago when we lived together in our late teens/early 20s but once we bought our first proper house together we got rid of it and there isn’t a single day that I’ve missed it.

Why the gender-neutral post? People are just going to assume you're some poor abused woman and your partner is an abusive man stopping you from getting into bed.

My guess is you are the man because I can't think of many mothers who would fuck off in the middle of the night to sleep 40 miles away and you want people to be particularly vicious about your partner by letting them think she is a man.

It's not my choice to have a TV there.

Why were they in there though?

As in why were they not watching the film in the living room?

If they have gone in there because it is out of your way to watch a film that you didn't want to see and then you want to go in there to go to sleep half way through it is a bit unreasonable on your part, but if they choose to be in there and it prevents you from going to bed then he is being very unreasonable, so which would it be?

Bizarre that the solution would be you sleeping in a recliner in the lounge instead of him watching TV in the lounge. Or just make both rooms into bedrooms if he's that fixated on watching TV in bed instead of on the sofa.

Or better still, get rid of him and live in your house where no one tells you to fuck off or acts like a selfish twat. He's not going to change. His ex-wife knew that, now you do too.

How old is your daughter?

Has she a TV in her room?

And... he told you to Fuck Off in front of her? Does he always speak like that to you? (and in front of children?)

I HATE tvs in the bedroom.
I hate excessive TV in general it just seems to constantly take over people's lives and it's often a string of annoying noise, not pleasant like music

Every post by the OP deliberately does not state the genders within the relationship (but happily states the genders of the kids)

I believe they deliberately want us to think they are female and that the aggressor(s) in their life are male (the ex is often an issue too) They certainly do not seek to correct Posters who assume its a man they are describing.

The OP is a man, however, and his posting history describes his own foul temper, exploding with rage, blown his top etc. There has also been police involvement with the older daughter citing that the OP owned firearms. The OP says they don't, however there's a post on the Preppers board confirming that they do.

At best, this whole thing is a mess, but a big part of this is the OP being disingenuous.

For clarity, I'm not troll hunting. I did report some inaccuracies etc to MN hours ago.

and you couldnt tell your daughter to move, why?

I’ve deleted my post because of previous cross post with mine. I’m not sure what to think now.