to not understand how the fuck people manage it

[gymwhentheduck]

Full time worker, toddler at home, husband who works late... how the hell do people manage to keep fit and go to the gym?! 😭

I want to lose about a stone, maybe stone and a half max.

I've joined a gym and I've managed to go once in 2 months.

Work Mon - Friday, self employed but in a very very busy environment so literally don't stop from the minute I get in at 8am to rhe minute I leave at 5pm. Nursery closes at 6pm, husband not home until approx 6-6:30 each evening.

After collecting toddler it's tea, bath and in pjs and me and DH tackle bed time together. After that it's our tea at about 7:30, finally sitting down to wind down at about 8:30pm.

I am so exhausted and just feel so deflated that it feels absolutely impossible to fit any meaningful form of exercise into my day to day life.

Could potentially ask family to pick up from nursery a few times a week but then get the awful mum guilt of "am I not spending any time with DC though if I do that?!"

How do people do it 😭

And yes I'm aware I guess I could go off to the gym at 9pm so partly me being lazy, but quite honestly by that point I'm a zombie.

I feel so deflated and like I'll never lose anything.

I used to go to the gym during my lunch hour. In your case it looks like there is little ability to do that so finding a workout routine to do at home would probably be better. Also we’ve (and then when it was just me) always had dinner/tea with DC that would free up time for you to go to the gym/work out. Also alternating who does bed time.

Losing weight depends much more on what you eat rather than exercise. I'd focus on that rather than trying to get to the gym.

I'd focus on food too as a pp has said. Are home workouts an option for you? I have a 5 month old and I manage (barely!) to get 30 mins/day. It helps a lot. Mentally, too

Well it doesn't take 2 adults to put one toddler to bed - we have 3 children and have always alternated doing bedtime (once I had stopped breastfeeding).
They're older now but we have kept the same pattern - one directs bedtime (kids mostly sort themselves these days but need some prodding about showers etc) and the other cleans up (washing up, etc) and then if I am not on bedtime I go to the gym around the cleaning up. Sometimes depending on the class I am literally walking out as DH arrives home - then I just do the clearing up when I get back.

If you're unable to leave the house, it's a home workout, in whichever form works for you. I either did this or occasionally my DH would appear early and I'd grab the chance and go for a run. Alternatively, you can child share with friends, where you have theirs then they have yours for some exercise time.

I don’t go to the gym but I run three times a week. I work FT and have a teenager. I need exercise for physical and mental health so it’s non negotiable for me.

In a similar situation with young kids, can't always fit the gym in etc. I do fasting and have lost quite a bit that way. It's really easy to fit in around busy family life. Worth reading in to IMO.

You can't expect to go to the gym at the same rate as a single person, that's an undeniable fact. I do know a few friends who get up at 4am six times a week to go to the gym and come back before the day starts for everyone else.
For all the other mere mortals, I think we just need to get comfortable with the idea that some time is better than no time. If you can carve an hour on weekend, then go once a week. Once a week is 100% better than zero times a week.
If family can help out with pick ups, let them. Don't feel guilty. You spend plenty of time with your kids across the week. An hour of being away from you is not going to ruin their childhood.
And also, I am a big advocate of instead of saying "I don't have time" to say "It is not a priority for me right now" because, let's be honest we can all find some time in our day for things that really matter. It's OK for exercise not to be a priority.

When mine were toddlers my exercise was often a walk to the park. I walked miles with the buggy.
I got into home workouts (Davina DVD, showing my age!)
Now I go to the gym before work - is that an option, and get someone to drop DC off?

From the outside, the obvious answer is alternating bedtimes with DH so that you can go then a few times a week? And then do the weekend ones together? That means you'd still do pick up and see DC, but you'd also fit the exercise in.

I'd second that it's more diet than exercise to lose weight, though, so focusing on food could be a win for you.

We're in the same boat, but with no family who could do collection. I've probably got a few friends I could make an arrangement with but I like doing pick-up and teatime, so I either rarely make it work on lunch, or I go after bedtime. We're working towards alternating bedtimes again so I can go then. DH does the same on opposite nights.

Your aims are separate - you won’t lose a stone by going to the gym. You’ll lose a stone by eating less / differently. Exercise has very little impact on weight loss.

You need to eat earlier. It’s better for weight loss anyway, ideally you should have your last mouthful of the day before 7pm to enable your body to fast for long enough before eating breakfast. I found recently that I happen to do 16:8 without even realising it. Look up intermittent fasting.

A habit that dh and I got into was to eat as early as 5.30 pm with the dcs. It’s good to eat as a family and good table routines should start young. You don’t have to do it everyday of course, just on the days you plan to work out. By the time your supper has gone down you might find you have time to then go to the gym or do a workout from home.

Your current routine doesn’t allow for this so you need to adapt it.

Yeah it’s impossible. I had to exercise at home. My youngest was 6 before I could realistically go to the gym twice a week - and I still didn’t go because I didn’t have the energy.

I’m a single parent so can’t go out in the evenings. I do short HIIT sessions in front of the tv at about 9 in the evening plus run in my lunch break. It can be hard to motivate yourself at that time but it’s important to me and helps me feel better overall so worth it.

Don’t feel deflated, it’s just not possible to juggle it all sometimes.

I don’t get time to go to the gym and I love walking but don’t get to do that either.

Try Lily Sabri YouTube videos, they are really short between 5-15 mins. I try to do those 3-4 times a week.

Fasting really helps, so I only eat lunch and dinner. Plus check your iron levels, if you’re a bit anaemic losing weight is hard. If you aren’t sleeping well that doesn’t help either.

Ultimately you have a toddler, it’s knackering and it takes a good while for your hormones and body to get back to normal. I worked so hard to get slimmer after my first son was born and starting running everyday when he was 9 weeks old, it didn’t make any difference and it wasn’t until he was about 2 or 3 I could start to get my body back to normal.

Keep going you’ll get there.

Doesn't take 2 people to do bedtime, so you eat with toddler, then as soon as DH through the door you leave to go to gym. Weekends, pick one morning you get up and go and your DH can have the other morning

Look at what you’re eating before worrying too much about the gym. Gym is fabulous for toning up, building muscle, increasing stamina and honing your form etc etc but it starts really in the kitchen.
Exercise is a great mood lifter, workout at home during your lunch break or just go at 9, I do sometimes. Yeah I’m tired but I prioritise working out so have to squeeze it in when it fits. My kids are older though, when they were younger I prioritised sleep and relaxing!

Never been able to go to the gym consistently nor enjoyed it much. So I walk a fair amount, generally getting my 10k steps a day, overall. Some days are better than others. I cycle, and periodically, when I’m not too tired or my knees are ok I like a short run. We have good transport options so sold our car 18mths ago and not missed it at all as we never used it for short trips preferring walking or cycling as was more convenient and often faster (in case of bike, especially).

Can also be found doing weights in front of the TV occasionally. If you did 2x ten minutes of fast walking a day you’d see the benefits. Is that something you can incorporate in nursery pick ups or going to the shop?

i think you need to incorporate small changes into what you already do rather than adding another task as it’s clear you’re not getting to it. So stairs, not escalators, walking, not relying on the car for short journeys. If your child is in a sling that’s weight training too (I carried my boy till he was 4, but he was not a very heavy child) or pushing the pushchair and walking is easy too. Try a minute plank and a wall sit every day. Then start doing 2x and three. Will still take less than ten minutes abc you can do it in the room with your toddler.

FWIW I’m overweight due to a health condition but my fitness and strength aren’t too bad and my cholesterol is normal.

if you like the gym then you can make time to go but yes it’ll be early before your toddler wakes up, at lunchtime or late if you don’t want to miss out on family time, depends what’s sustainable for you,

Either alternate bedtimes with DH and go in the evening, or is it possible to go first thing? I have a 3 year old, work 4 days a week, and drag myself out of bed twice a week to do a 6am hiit class but it’s a 5 min walk down the road so I can get out of bed at 5:45. Back before 7am and DH holds the fort til then, appreciate the convenience isn’t possible for everyone.

When I had a toddler they equated to a daily workout with weights!

I go to the gym straight after work which I enjoyed, then collected my son from his childminders. Worked well for me. Now he is starting reception I'll be collecting him from after school club, then when his dad gets in from work go to the gym then.
I also use Sunday as my big workout day, DH takes DS to the park then we swap over.

My partner gets home anywhere between 6 and 10 in the evening so exercising at night is a no go. I don't use a gym I run so I'm up at 5.30 3x a week and back by half 6/7 so just as everyone else is getting up. For a long run at the weekend I'm out of the house by half 4 so I'm back for breakfast and I can spend the day with partner and the kids. Quite nice now, absolutely shit in the winter.

Sorry should have specified but by tackling bed time together, i mean because our son is just going through an awful phase with sleep. Sometimes he wants me, sometimes he wants daddy, sometimes DH will be up there whilst I'm trying to make a start on tea then we'll have to swap because son wants me etc... he's been having night terrors recently so sleep is difficult, getting him to sleep is one thing and then there's all the getting up in the night too.

I feel like my whole life consists of sleeping (barely at the min), working, eating and sleeping again 😖