to not understand how the fuck people manage it

[gymwhentheduck]

Full time worker, toddler at home, husband who works late... how the hell do people manage to keep fit and go to the gym?! 😭

I want to lose about a stone, maybe stone and a half max.

I've joined a gym and I've managed to go once in 2 months.

Work Mon - Friday, self employed but in a very very busy environment so literally don't stop from the minute I get in at 8am to rhe minute I leave at 5pm. Nursery closes at 6pm, husband not home until approx 6-6:30 each evening.

After collecting toddler it's tea, bath and in pjs and me and DH tackle bed time together. After that it's our tea at about 7:30, finally sitting down to wind down at about 8:30pm.

I am so exhausted and just feel so deflated that it feels absolutely impossible to fit any meaningful form of exercise into my day to day life.

Could potentially ask family to pick up from nursery a few times a week but then get the awful mum guilt of "am I not spending any time with DC though if I do that?!"

How do people do it 😭

And yes I'm aware I guess I could go off to the gym at 9pm so partly me being lazy, but quite honestly by that point I'm a zombie.

I feel so deflated and like I'll never lose anything.

After collecting toddler it's tea, bath and in pjs and me and DH tackle bed time together. After that it's our tea at about 7:30, finally sitting down to wind down at about 8:30pm.

You don't both need to do bedtime. We alternate. She has mummy bedtime and daddy bedtime. Which means each of us gets ~an hour of "me time" every other day. Try that. You could go to a gym class, run, just nip to the gym for half an hour, do an at home workout. TBH I tend to use it to zone out, watch TV or read a book, but I WFH so I can run at lunch and then eat at my desk.

Same situation here OP. Home workouts do it for me, and at times I get an evening to myself to go to the gym while my husband does bedtime. DD goes down better for me but I can’t be there all the time, she just needs to get used to it.

I use childcare in the gym

I forgot about this, our leisure centre has a crèche so I would put my middle child in when she was a baby and take my eldest (just a toddler at the time, we had them very close) to the soft play or we'd go swimming together. What I should really have done is put them both in the crèche and gone for a swim myself!

your husband and you take it in turns to do bedtime so the other one can exercise

also the gym is very time consuming, a 30 min run / outside workout is much more efficient

Can you go in the morning before work a couple of days a weekand let your partner deal with morning and drop off?

Start running on weekends. Work up to a Park run. Exercise at home, using YouTube. That's what I do, I've lost over a stone this year.

I did this too and the hideous bodyweight 4 weeks made me laugh!!

Oh god this is exactly how I feel every day!!!

There is always something, I need to do a wash, need to put the clothes away from the last wash, could do with picking some shopping up etc etc etc my head feels like a never ending list of things that need doing.

I don't have the most supportive husband to be honest (that is another thread) when it comes to household chores so everything feels like it's on me.

There are actually other DC involved but they are teens so not really relevant to this situation.

I workout at home now. But when DC were small, I went to the gym at 5.45am for opening at 6, worked for 50 mins and drove home in order to be back before DH went to the station for train into the City.

I'd then get the children up and out.

Takes willpower I'm afraid!! One of those things you need to really want.

Oh yes and when really tiny, they went in the leisure centre creche while I did a pilates class.

I've never actually heard of a creche at a gym! My local one certainly doesn't have one but I could check some others around.

Find other exercise then! If you don’t enjoy it, that’s really hard to get motivated. I have found having an exercise buddy is my answer - I’ve got a Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and a Sunday buddy. It’s taken a few years to discover likeminded people, but I’ve run at 7pm on a Sunday with the same woman for 16 years. We met at antenatal. Other people I’ve picked up along the way. I need them as I can cry off on my own, they need me for the same reason.
Find something that motivates you or you’re pushing water uphill. My dsis Zumba’s her week away, another friend boot camps, neither would suit me. I fucking hate the gym. I love Pilates.

haven’t read the whole thread

Im on a similar work schedule to you but two kids and just about manage.
I Do kids tea at 6pm
husband gets in about 6- 6:30
we alternate nights doing bedtime while the other goes to gym from 7-8pm.
Then eat our own tea when get home from
gym, granted its a late one.
we let each other go once at the weekend too while the other has the kids

I walk to work at 5.30am and the gym on I go past is always busy at that time.

Does it really need both of you to put one child to bed?

We alternate, I do Monday, Wednesday, Friday and DH does Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday bedtimes. We do Sunday together, because there’s always drama on a Sunday for some reason.

We usually go to the gym on the day the other does bedtime.

Yeah I wouldn’t allow all the bedtime faffing. If one of you is not there the toddler can’t play you off against each other.
If you really want to go to the gym, get ready and go out the door as dh comes in.
Shower, then dinner and chill together once you’re back in.
Could start with just once in the week and then once at the weekend.
You need to change your mindset on it or forget really.

Do some bedtimes individually rather than together?

He does 2 and you do 2

The gym isn’t for everyone and at the can be intimidating if you don’t have a flexible routine.

I found starting with classes helped a lot with getting my body used to movement again and I was being held to some kind of accountability. Then I could handle the gym However now I have a good routine it makes me soooooooo hungry and I actually put on weight.

If losing weight is your main goal it is about food intake.

Exercise snacking and generally trying to fit movement into your day can make a surprising difference - keep a resistance band in the kitchen and do some arm extensions while the kettle boils, do a few squats or lunges while you brush your teeth, hold a plank or do stretches in front of the TV.

Physical play with your toddler or dancing to music can be fun for you both and a surprisingly good workout, particularly jumping which is great for bones and explosive strength and so intense that a little goes a long way. A toddler is a solid weight for rucking or lifting and will reward you with giggles when you lift them high enough! Playground equipment can be handy too - I built up to chin ups using the climbing frame at our local play park. With a little ingenuity and planning you could make a real difference without ever going to the gym.

Walking to work I would actually love to do but it's too far (I have my own office but it's some distance from home and have to do the nursery drop on the way as well). DH doesn't do any drop offs or pick ups due to his work so again all on me!

Currently I’m getting up at 0530 to go for a run. Helps I WFH 4 days a week so don’t have to commute/get ready. But until very recently this would have been impossible as DC2 was coming in several times a night. He’s now stopped so I get to bed for 930 and get a good nights sleep then up to run. But it’s tough if you’re exhausted

I work full time with 3 kids on days I’m in the office (leave the house at 6am) I get home 5:30 get everyone’s dinner done etc husband does bedtime and I head to the gym for 7 or 8 pm.

on days I wfh I either get up as normal at 5 and get to the gym for opening (6:15) or go in the evening.

6am. Lunch hour, after work.

I don't have the most supportive husband to be honest (that is another thread) when it comes to household chores so everything feels like it's on me

And there it is.

Well time to get selfish OP.