to not understand how the fuck people manage it

[gymwhentheduck]

Full time worker, toddler at home, husband who works late... how the hell do people manage to keep fit and go to the gym?! 😭

I want to lose about a stone, maybe stone and a half max.

I've joined a gym and I've managed to go once in 2 months.

Work Mon - Friday, self employed but in a very very busy environment so literally don't stop from the minute I get in at 8am to rhe minute I leave at 5pm. Nursery closes at 6pm, husband not home until approx 6-6:30 each evening.

After collecting toddler it's tea, bath and in pjs and me and DH tackle bed time together. After that it's our tea at about 7:30, finally sitting down to wind down at about 8:30pm.

I am so exhausted and just feel so deflated that it feels absolutely impossible to fit any meaningful form of exercise into my day to day life.

Could potentially ask family to pick up from nursery a few times a week but then get the awful mum guilt of "am I not spending any time with DC though if I do that?!"

How do people do it 😭

And yes I'm aware I guess I could go off to the gym at 9pm so partly me being lazy, but quite honestly by that point I'm a zombie.

I feel so deflated and like I'll never lose anything.

I work FT and my child is 9. I go 3 times a week at 19.30. Yes I'm knackered but needs must.

I usually do one hour early morning, twice a week, usually starting at 5:30am or 6am. I also do 45 mins on my lunch hour once a week. Being able to WFH twice a week makes this much more achievable.

I have a walking pad under a standing desk so that I can get some steps in during the day. Otherwise I'm barely moving from 8-4. After the nursery pickup we'll go for a walk with the pushchair some days, or I'll let my toddler "join in" with a home workout video. We also use the slow cooker a lot and make big batches for leftovers so that we spend less time cooking. Sometimes I'll get up early but not that often.

Be kind to yourself though. Having a toddler is difficult - we're in the trenches right now.

OP I am pretty sure I haven't had a gym membership since DC1 was born over 12 years ago. Mainly because I am time poor and it's too bloody expensive not to use.

Don't beat yourself up about this. Concentrate on a healthy diet and workouts at home. You can do this 💪🏼

Don't go to the gym to lose weight. Won't work.

Hi OP, not sure if this would be an option for you but if you and your child are able to join a David Lloyd gym, they have classes for toddlers (aged 3-5) that would allow you to use the gym or go to a class while your little one does their own class. At my club they have classes for toddlers (2 hours back to back) on Saturday and Sunday mornings as well as on week nights. My daughter and I love it and practically live there on weekends / my non-working day.

There are loads of great workouts you can subscribe to on YouTube. Dance/aerobics/weights etc. This may tide you over for a bit? Good luck!

There's loads of really good exercise classes on YouTube which you can watch on TV. They range from 10 minutes to an hour plus and include yoga, pilates, weights, stretches, aerobic, starter, advanced. They are really worth checking out.

What percentage of the population do you think goes to a gym? I doubt it is many as far as percentages go.

They may boast of going to gym. Perhaps they just pay membership fees and give that impression.

Don't exhaust yourself. Everyone has to work all hours God gives just to put a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. There is nothing saintly about going to the gym and working out. There are all sorts of ways you can exercise without putting your body under strain. Worrying about it is worse.

If your family is well and happy, then there is no need to beat yourself up.

I couldnt get out to the gym either as i worked, single parent of young child. Going to the gym isnt really realistic with a young child i dont think. So I used high itensity interval workouts at home on a dvd and then on you tube. Walking and high intensity interval training (including with some weights or tins of beans) are as effective at incoporating exercise into your week. If you can get in 3 x 30 min video interval training sessions per week at home it will help your fitness and weigt loss a lot. Or take up jogging for 15 mins per day every other day and then build it up. Its about being active and building fitness / burning off food energy more so than going to the gym. Best of luck x

Split the bedtime so it's one person only so you get away earlier . Tantrum or no.

And go as a zombie - I used to feel better afterwards

Alternate evenings and eat together. So say for example you get the baby home at 5:45. Put dinner on and bath her then eat together at 6:45. Then your DH does book and bed at 7:30 and preps dinner for the next day. That’ll free you up from about 7pm to fo what you want. You then swap the next day so you do book, bed and food prep and DH has the night off. That way dinner won’t be a hassle to get done by 6:45 because you’ve prepped the night before and you get 3 x evenings a week each free to do what you want.

We follow this exact routine and it works for us.

I got really into running when my children were little as you could go there and then when you have a spare minute. Can you and your husband not take it in turns to get the little one sorted and then that gives you both an o
pportunity to have a bit of free time. There are some great YouTube videos as well that are ten mins long, even just doing one of them whilst dinner is cooking will make you feel so much better.

Have a snack after work and go to the gym a couple of nights a week when your husband gets home. So easily doable. If you were a single parent I could see your point. Also time at the weekend too.

If you want to lose weight change your eating habits, you don't need to go to the gym. Exercise is important for health and fitness, but weight control is 80% what goes in your mouth.

I’ve used Les Mills online on and off for years. It just works, try Body Combat, Body Attack and Grit. I also so a 6.00am class once a week if I can make it. If you find one early class and do one at a weekend (recommend HIT), it will make a difference.

I lost two stone without setting foot in the gym. It was diet that did it not excercise. Excercise is good for feeling like you're doing something towards it, but you'd need to do far more of it than most of us have time for to lose any appreciable weight. All you can do is fit what activity you can around the life you have, do brisk walking wherever possible, some weights to lift at home and so on. But 90% of it will be what you (don't!) eat.

Sorry not RTFT so this might have been covered but why on earth are you doing all the drop offs and pick ups when both you and your partner work full time? He should do half of them surely? That way you can go to the gym before or after work when he's doing drop off/pick up.

I don't think a lot of people DO do it, in your current situation.

The good news is that weight loss is 90% about what you put in your mouth; the gym will make very little difference. Not that exercise isn't great for lots of other reasons. But if it's mostly about weight loss, you can do that by eating less (which takes no extra time at all).

You don’t need to go to the gym to lose weight - if you want get fitter, have some free time then that’s different
I could never do it when mine were little - did a lot of walking with the pushchair

YouTube exercise videos are your friend. May not be right for you, but I started off with Leslie Sansome and Walk at Home. There are tons of others though.

Like a few people have said - it doesn’t take two people to but toddler down. 3 times a week be ready in gym kit to leave house as soon as husband is home. And have a simple dinner / prep a dinner / slow cooker so it’s ready when you get back.

We’ve got 3 young children and unless one is ill one of us can get them all the bed.

think you’ve just got stuck in a routine which you need to break

Try Annie Deadman’s Blast.
Exercise has massive benefits, but it’s what /how much you eat that gives you the shape you want. It is a simple but effective life plan and I have found it works.

I’ve recently got into the habit of dropping daughter off at nursery opening time wearing gym stuff, and then going between drop off and work, or going between work and pick up and using the full opening time.

yes, I could have her in nursery 30 mins less some days by not doing that but the exercise is important for parenting her well too.

Peloton. Solid workout. Don't need to leave the house. When the kids were younger I did Mommastrong. 15 minute workouts. Just enough.