Neighbours Autistic daughter

[Ashellwithin]

Good evening all,

I was recommended to seek advice on this forum by a friend. If anyone could advise, I would be very much appreciative.

I have been living in my flat for the past 12 years. During the first few years, we have had to deal with my neighbour's daughter horrific meltdowns (e.g., jumping on the floor, crying). She was 4 or 5 years old at the time and although I did complain to our Local Housing officer about this, I didn't take this any further as she was quite young and did not think it would be taken seriously. Plus, the meltdowns seemed to had settled during the years.

However, now that my neighbour's daughter is a teen, the meltdowns have started all over again and they are much worse. She will curse, shout, bang, throw things, slams doors, runs up and down. She is very loud! On those days where it has gotten too much, I have regrettably shouted to "Keep the noise down!", on a few occasions. But the noise was really grating me.

The neighbour (mum) struggles to calm down her daughter and often takes her out of the house for long periods of duration or I will see them both wandering in the streets (around midnight!). I have also seen quite a few professionals (I'm assuming as they have lanyards) come in and out of her flat which I take is to support the neighbour's daughter. So I do think the neighbour is trying to support her daughter the best way she can. However, the noise is unbearable and I can no longer take it. I have made a formal complaint to the council about the noise and have recorded the daughter's meltdowns as evidence.

Since then, a mediation meeting between the neighbour and I to resolve the matter. The meeting has not taken place yet as the neighbour always has something going on (so wondering if she is avoiding this). But I'm hoping to move to a new property or secretly wishing that they will kick out the neighbours and move them elsewhere.

Other than that, what else can I do? This is taken a toll on my mental health.

This issue isn’t about autism, it’s about unreasonable noise in a residential setting. People’s personal circumstances are their own business, but everyone living in a residential setting must be able to live peacefully and must be considerate of others in respect to noise. If one neighbour cannot reduce noise levels to a reasonable level then a solution must be found that works for everyone.

Some babies and young children scream for hours at night. Do we suggest institutions for them because of the disturbance they create.

Blows my mind that this is always the first response. Why should she have to walk round with headphones on

Hopefully they'll tell you that people with disabilities exist and neither is an option for you.

It's life and you can't choose who your neighbours are.

Or they'll move you and your neighbours will be a lot worse, or they'll move much worse neighbours next to where you live now? We can hope for that maybe?

The "new" neighbours could be a lot worse, be careful what you wish for.

@Tricho because she doesn't like the noise?

I don’t understand why everyone thinks this is a disability issue. It isn’t. It’s a noise issue. It’s just decibels. If someone was making noise with a jackhammer or from screaming it’s the same issue.

From my experience that's usually temporary

Except no one is suggesting institutions as a solution for jackhammer users and non disabled screamers.

Because she's upset about the noise and headphones are a good way to block noise out? I would have thought it was quite obvious really!

But they don't work. As an adult who is also visually impaired, I have to rely on my poor hearing. (which is better than my vision)

Oh and the decent ones are expensive

Siri show me the advice that someone would give when they have no idea how housing associations behave

Yep Another instance of the child free getting all the shit bits (like noise nits less rights to social housing) but not all the nice bits like the more rights to housing and not having to work the shit bank holiday shifts and Child Benefit etc.

It's life and you can't choose who your neighbours are

EXACTLY @dontstopmenowimhavingagoodtime thats what some of us have been saying. OP could move and something similar could happen again.
Sorry but you sprinted into this one Hoist by your own petard!!

What can the mother do though ?
I have a severely autistic teenager, who screams loudly and frequently no its not nice for anyone but short of locking him up and gagging him what can we do?

Well, for a start, soundproofing could be classed as a disability adaptation?

Wouldn't that be a sight fairer than jeopardising a child's longterm health and ability to live independently in her senior years? Also, cheaper long-term. Placements for disabled people with dementia are expensive and scarce.

Well, for a start, soundproofing could be classed as a disability adaptation
Good idea and one to bring up with the HA

Have you the slightest idea just how hard it is getting a child into a residential school?
That's assuming the mother and everyone agrees the child should be in a specialist school
?

Sadly you are talking out of your backside .

I'm Autistic and part of that means I can't cope with loud noise

Why don't our needs matter too? Too much noise is physically painful and can leave me unable to physically speak

The mother didn’t choose to have a disabled child, but now that she has one, she obviously is not going to just dump that child because she’s not a complete arsehole. The OP can probably move or change her circumstances more easily than her neighbour.

Yeah we don't just lock up disabled kids anymore ,that's not how it works

Nothing ridiculous about it. You expect someone to send their own child, who is probably already overwhelmed and scared about life in general, away from their family, the only people who truly love them, so a neighbour can live in peace? What is to say their next neighbours won’t be noisy? At least the disabled person is not doing it vindictively like so many other people. If you expect them to live remotely or in a detached house, then you pay for it, or perhaps, if you want to live in peace, buy a remote, detached house yourself.

Your incorrect. The noise is a direct result of the child's disability therefore it is a disability issue and the landlord can't evict the neighbour

Which is why it can be argued that sound proofing in this case is a disability adaptation