Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

CF

Depends.

If you've become a bit if a "weight bore" (IE it's all you talk about / takes up a lot of your time and energy / MacD is something you'll regret and complain about later) then maybe he's sick of it?

If its unsolicited advice then I'd be having words.

As an aside surely as a runner you pack enough supplies?

And why on Earth do you need to tell your partner you are off to MacD ("but only for chips"). Is he controlling about your weight or are you obsessive about it? Seems somewhat odd? Like you've really had to justify why you are going to MacD for chips?

If he's trying to support you to lose weight/get fit then he's right that going to McDonalds isn't a good idea. It makes no difference if he's overweight. Also everyone reading this knows the "need to replace salts" so needed chips is a complete BS excuse.

He’s a cheeky bastard but tbh I’d also raise an eyebrow at someone going for a run then stopping for chips on the way home, I wouldn’t say ‘you need to eat healthier’ but I’d think ‘I thought you were being healthier’ and be somewhat confused by that choice.

I think it depends how it was said, and if he understands/has the knowledge to be giving this as genuine advice or if it was just intended as a snarky comment/dig.

As an aside, I’m also a runner and eating extra salt after a run isn’t the way to go! The amount you lose after a 3 mile run isn’t huge, but in general after running you need to replenish electrolytes, not just salt. Eating extra salt just causes water retention and stops your body from regulating properly. You need to eat a healthy meal with a good amount of protein and have an electrolyte drink to fuel you after a run x

@Crunchymum
No I'm not a weight bore. I don't talk about it constantly. As I said, I'm not even technically overweight. It's mostly to increase my fitness.

And no he's not controlling about what I eat, it was just in general conversation, telling him I was craving salt so I might pass McDonald's and grab some chips. This is normal conversation for us. But his reply was just like wtf!? It's almost as though he felt the need to mansplain healthy eating to me. Which is embarrassing for a man who ate a cream cake for his lunch isn't it.

@Mrsttcno1
It's not usually a huge amount that I lose I agree. But in 23 degrees when I'm pushing the pace, I did sweat a lot more than I would typically for this distance.

I would also be quite confused if someone had run a pretty short run and then went for chips after it.

Yeah you will have lost more than usual. Even so, just eating more salt will make you worse not better. Electrolytes and a healthy meal with plenty of protein will help you replenish anything you have lost.

That’s why I’m saying if he knows that, it’s not bad advice. The best thing you can do after a run is refuel properly, so just eating extra salt will not help x

He didn’t go for a run then eat a cream cake for lunch though? It doesn’t sound like he was mansplaining, just confused by the run & chips choice.

@Mrsttcno1
That's really useful advice thank you. I do not think he knows this at all - he just took his opportunity to mansplain 🙄

But thank you, that's interesting and helpful x

@Changingplace
It's my choice though isn't it? Nothing to do with him. Just like I didn't comment on him stuffing a cream cake in his face at lunch time - up to him isn't it? So whys he commenting on my food choices? 🤔

A run followed by McDonalds is pretty unusual and many partners would comment on it.
I don’t see why you couldn’t reply with a light comment re him having a cheek given his lack of activity and love of cakes and leave it at that.

Personally, I would laugh if my partner said he went for a run and got McDonalds on the way home 🤣

I would comment on that. Nothing to do with weight - I just think salty chips when you're dehydrated after a run on a hot day is a bad idea!

Just like I didn't comment on him stuffing a cream cake in his face at lunch time - up to him isn't it? So whys he commenting on my food choices?

Well you did purposely text him to tell him what you were planning to do, so he replied to it. You didn't like his reply. Maybe dont give him the space to comment if you dont want to hear it.

Oh come on!!

“I’ve been for a run so I need some McDonald chips to replace the salt” 😂

I would take the piss out of my DH for the rest of the day if he did this 🤣

I wouldn't have thought to tell him about going to get chips. You're an adult and don't need to run this past him/get his approval. I don't suppose he asked you if you thought he should eat a cake did he?
This is like the relationship version of micro management. Just do you. Don't invite his opinion on it.

It’s definitely worth remembering. I run marathons although had to take a break due to pregnancy and now building back up as my baby is 4 months old. Especially once you are covering longer distances it’s so important to refuel property and also fuel mid run when going for longer with gels etc!

Also for the water- get a running vest with a water bladder in the back. Freeze the water in the vest overnight. That way when you’re running in the heat it melts fairly quickly but is cool for much longer x

Surely the whole point of exercise is so you can eat more? If I know I'm going for a big greasy meal I always try to do a load of exercise before hand. I mean when is a good time for McDonald's - after sitting on the sofa all day?

Having said that, 3 miles is short, I wouldn't even take water on a run of that length. If you want maccies then fine but the replacing salt thing is a bit of a misunderstanding

If you had done a long run perhaps eating healthily afterwards would be more important but I'm sure you eat healthily most of the time.

Chips only - not a full meal. I was craving salt as I've explained

It's very normal for us to text each other things like this. Nothing to do with approval. Just telling each other what our plans are etc, pretty normal in our relationship.

Yes, this. You texted him so what did you expect him to say. Oh that sounds great btw nobody just goes to McDonalds for cardboard fries.

It’s still quite funny. Cmon OP lighten up a bit.

If it’s just a one off comment I wouldn’t dwell on it. I’m presuming he meant ‘you’ve been for a run,why undo the good work?’

Of course that’s for you to decide, but just mentioning it seems fine to me - it wouldn’t be fine if he did it all the time.