Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

OK, maybe what he meant was "you need to eat something healthy to support your run" rather than "chips? after a run, that'll make you fat"

I think most people equate exercise with merely wanting to be thin(ner) so expect people who exercise to be eating vegetables and fruit. Some of us just run because we enjoy it.

I responded to say I felt he was criticising my food choices and I genuinely wasn't feeling the best. Then I went and got my chips 😂

Honestly all the sanctimonious twats on this threat criticising a woman for needing to take water for what they perceive is a short run and slagging off her food choices. You're as bad as her dh!

For sure it's better to eat healthily and refuel with lean protein. But sometimes a bit of what you fancy does you good.

I ran 27k today. I've just finished my Macdonald's large chicken selects meal. Which I really really fancied (and often choose for after a long run). I run marathons and ultras and it doesn't do me any harm 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn't criticise what someone else chooses to do in the same situation.

Newsflash - what works for one person doesn't for someone else. WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT

Context and tone matter. Because he is right, when your doing strenuous excercise you do need to replenish in a healthy way. However as you've taken this so badly, and are not reading this as concern but as criticism/control, I'm assuming there's a bit of history.

I never have a post run Frappuccino. I just lick a carrot and feel smug.

Honestly, if I was at a soft play with the kids, which is not a lot of adults idea of fun and dp was texting me looking for support because he found a 3 mile run a bit difficult then started telling me he was getting chips ‘for the salt’. I would probably roll my eyes to be honest.

I am not sure what support someone needs after finding a run a bit difficult. That’s how it works. Some are better than others. But I am also not a fan of people sending platitudes for the sake of it either so I wouldn’t want dp texting ‘well done’ either.

and honestly, if you posted this the other way round I don’t think many people would have sympathy for a man looking for support for a 3 mile run and approval of him going to McDonald’s ‘for the salt’.

Thank you, I didn't know this. Someone else gave similar advice upthread which was very helpful.

Why do you care? Giving him power over your thoughts thus your emotions. Next time: don't tell him you went to get fries.

No one said that - a few people think it’s mildly odd, most people think the chips are all good - it is just funny the OP is so chippy* about some throw away comment from her husband.

Now, obviously she has explained it’s a deeper issue, but it took her a good long while.

** @MeowCatPleaseMeowBack you win the thread 🏆 🏃‍♀️☀️the prize is 🍟 maybe the OP will share.. I hope you’re craving salt.

The decadence! I merely sniff delicately in the carrot’s general direction 😉

Dietary sodium does next to nothing to replenish your stores.

Source for this please? Dietary sodium is sufficient for most healthy people. Advising crappy UPFs like energy gels and protein shakes wouldn't be my choice.

😂😂

@Prawncow maybe I should keep a post run carrot in my glove box.

That's impressive and I bet it tasted sooooo good. I'd love to start running but a. I'm fat. b. I'd be so embarrassed. c. my lungs would explode after 30 seconds

@CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson
You are my hero - both for your reply which is fucking spot on, and the fact you ran 27k today!! Superwoman. Well done 👏🏻

Ps

How many boxes of chips can you eat after 27k? #askingforafriend

You do know people don’t just exercise for weight reasons?

It really did!

And you could run, if you wanted to. Start small with couch to 5k or similar and build up. There are plenty of people of all body sizes and shapes who run, especially ultras (which I got into after someone described them as short runs between picnics 🤣👌🙌)

The key being if you wanted to. If you don't that's cool too. We're all different 🙌

Why do I care? I suppose for the same reason that most people care how their partner makes them feel? It's pretty normal I'd say.

Fucking loads 🤷‍♀️

fair enough, screams to me that you wanted his validation

you do you

Choosing to fix the condition you found yourself in with chips from McDonald's does sound strange to me as a non runner, id have assumed you d be better with something like Dioralyte or something carby but I'd assume you know more than me being the runner

She might also just have fancied chips at that moment rather than a Dioralyte.

I tend to agree with your OH. It's a bit pointless doing exercise and then eating unhealthily. You'd have been better just not going out for a jog at all. McD's stuff is particularly unhealthy. Why not just go back home and have a piece of fruit?

And it's not just about weight, so saying you're a healthy size/weight is also a bit silly. Lots of people who "look" healthy have high cholesterol, clogged arteries etc. and some are literally a walking heart attack waiting to happen.

@TheShiningCarpet
I really did not want validation for my food choices. I just did not want to be criticised. Therefore a neutral response would have worked. Or even no response. Anything other than what felt like overt criticism.