Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

Your replies are a bit chippy OP

@Prawncow
I didn't know milk was good post run - thanks for the tip. I can manage milk as long as it's really cold.

You wanted a ‘supportive reply’ that’s similar to praise, if you want your running to be supported then don’t eat chips on the way home 🤣

I wonder what was the intent behind that comment. I doubt it was genuinely well-meaning. It could have been a put-down, more likely. Maybe he is jealous of you trying to get fitter.

YANBU. Lots of fools seem to think you have to be all or nothing, that’s why many fail and end up overweight and inactive. You went for a run today and had a salty snack.. surely better than eating a cream cake and sitting on your lazy arse!?!

Ill never fathom why people can’t understand life is a balance.

Anyone else just craving McDonald’s chips now? Haven’t even been on a run 🤣

@Changingplace not support about the chips ffs. Support when I said, "I really struggled on that run"

Well then this is a different issue.

People aren’t taking you very seriously because eating chips after a run is quite funny (not bad - just ripe for a lighten hearted piss take), you husband didn’t say anything mean, so you are coming across as humourless and touchy.

If the problem is that you are making a big effort to get fit and want his support, then it would be better to post about that.

Have you asked him for support? What kind would you like? Is he generally unsupportive of your goals? All these questions spring to mind.

It's not like that at all, and comparing a snack to an addiction is actually pretty offensive.

I did a run on the treadmill then got a chippy the other night. Shock horror. The thing is, that if running becomes part of your lifestyle and you do it regularly (as is the goal for most of us), chances are at some point it'll coincide with a day of less than ideal other choices. Depriving yourself of things because you're running sounds dangerously like orthorexia to me. A balance is much more sustainable.

Absolutely no need to say that out loud!

THANK YOU

if its your choice why did you text him then?

I thought that. I’d have thought fucking cheek but I’d have said “whatever”

He sounds rude. But for me McDonald's chips aren't even salty enough, lol. It's just empty carbs.
A handful of salted nuts would be good, or even some salami, chorizo or something?
I'm not saying he was right to be rude but I'd be loth to waste my run calorie deficit on maccas straight afterwards.

@TheShiningCarpet
I've explained this ++ now.
For us, in our relationship, texting about small things like "leaving now" or "going to shop on way home" or "just arrived" etc ... are really, really normal for our relationship. Both ways. This is how we communicate.

@BobbyBiscuits ooh nuts is a good shout! Might keep some in my car for next time 😀

Meh, if DH had said he'd finished his getting fit bike ride and was going for chips, I'd have ripped the piss out of him 🤣😅
I think.you may be taking things too seriously OP - is he supporting you in other ways? Does he show you he cares?

Just tell him to shove his cream cake where the sun don't shine and crack on with your exercise🙂

@dreamer24 I would have been pissed off if dh had said anything other than ok - especially if I was onto a size 10.

However, I work in healthcare and we have a big focus on hyponatraemia (low sodium) at the moment. Dietary sodium does next to nothing to replenish your stores. You need electrolytes (can get the gel packets on Amazon) and then some proper energy for post run, either a banana or something high in protein. Could you take a protein shake, or a protein bar with you to have on the way home next time? If you're feeling shaky and dizzy it's more likely due to the exertion than truly low salt.

How date she text her partner letting him what's going on. She didn't text him saying she was going for all you can eat Chinese ffs she felt unwell went for fries, most normal people would reply 'can you pick me up a.... whatever' or 'do you need me to bring anything?' Or 'let me know you feel better' or '3 miles well done, those fries will taste especially good after that, see you at home!'

I’d have left a packet of salt and vinegar crisps at the top of our stairs by now for DH because “you’ll need to take on some salt after all that elevation” 🤣

I think people are missing the context and I may not have made it clear in my OP. It was not, "right I've finished my run, i'm off for a McDonalds!" I admit, that's funny.

It went like this:

"God I really struggled on that run, it was so hot and I feel dizzy. Think I've sweated a lot of salt. Might stop at McDonald's as I'm craving chips to replace the salt"

Or words or that effect.

No acknowledgment of how I told him I wasn't feeling the best. Just "you need to eat healthily"

That would have annoyed me too if there was nothing more supportive in it. If he’d phrased it like, “Are you sure you fancy chips now? You’ve been working hard to be healthy this week” - then I’d have appreciated the comment.

How did you respond, OP? And did you ever get your chips?!

I think you are more preoccupied with your diet and food than you realise. I gave up reading your posts after you’d mentioned the cream cake four times.

I'm not sure why you are getting a hard time here OP. It's like people think you are either a healthy person who goes for runs and would never touch McDonalds or an unhealthy person who doesn't run so it's fine to have McDonald's because you've given up, and there is nothing in between! As someone who never runs, well done you and why shouldn't you have a bit of what you fancy! And 3 miles seems like a long run to me!

In terms of your husband that would annoy me too and I would absolutely be replying that I don't need dietary advice from Mr cream cake for lunch thank you very much. However, looking at it as an outsider, is he responding to you feeling a bit off after a run and saying you'll feel better after eating something 'proper' rather than just chips out of concern for how you feel, not as a telling off? After all, half a sandwich doesn't seem like a great lunch to fuel exercise.

@AgathaSultana
Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from.