Partner telling me to eat healthily- fuming

[dreamer24]

I went for a run today. It's 23 degrees where I am, it's hot and it's not the best weather for running. I managed 3.2 miles but then had to stop as I'd ran out of water and what little water I had left in my bottle was warm given the heat.

I texted my partner when I'd finished (he was at a soft play with our toddler) to say I'd struggled but managed 3 miles, and that I felt a little dizzy and was craving water and salt (presumably because I'd sweated so much I'd lost a lot of salt). I said I might drive past McDonalds on the way home to grab some chips (just chips, nothing else) as I needed to replace the salt. He replied, "you need to eat healthily".

So... I saw red. This is a man who is overweight and who I watched sit on the sofa at lunch time and eat a Greggs cream cake. I didn't do this - I had a half a sandwich and a banana then went for a run. This is, by the way, my 3rd run of this week and I also plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning to do a weights class.

For context, I am a size 10 (BMI is 22.5 ish). So I am not even overweight but I want to tone up a bit and to get back my pre baby level of fitness, hence making this effort

Am I right to feel really annoyed by what feels like judgement for what I've chosen to eat post run, when I'm making an effort here and he is not? If he was the picture of health and fitness then maybe I'd accept that comment a bit more but ... seriously?! You eat a cake for lunch then tell me, post 3 mile run, to "eat healthily" 😵‍💫

Or am I overreacting or am I right to feel annoyed at this judgement? 🤔

You're over reacting. What he said is true, get something healthy instead of McDonald's chips.

It is for some people, is there any need to be so patronising?

Not everyone is you.

Well it's all relative isn't it. If you're a marathon runner, 3 miles is nothing. If you're only just building your fitness back up after a pregnancy all but destroyed it, and you're really struggling, and you weren't the strongest, fastest runner to begin with, then 3 miles x 3 in one week feels like a lot. Especially in 20 plus degrees.

@Dulra You would have been better off going for no run then going for a run and needing chips after.

I don't agree, exercising improves your cardiovascular fitness and lung capacity (and mental health), it's not just for weight loss. If you're going to eat something unhealthy as a treat better to have some mcds chips after a run than a cream cake on the couch!

All the 'umm 3 miles is not a long run' is uncalled for too. If someone is trying to improve their fitness, anything is a start. I'm 5 weeks into couch to 5k and haven't run 3 miles yet. And I'm relatively slim and fit.

Also cheap table salt is still electrolytes... It'll still do the trick for replacing some, in fact table salt is used to make St Mark's Solution for patients requiring oral rehydration.

Give him a break. Going for a 3 mile run in this heat and then stopping for chips in McDonalds does seem counterintuitive. Most people would comment. Running is synonymous with a healthy lifestyle. McDonald’s is synonymous with an unhealthy lifestyle, it’s a great example of juxtaposition I suppose.

Like someone saying I’m going to my AA meeting tonight, then meeting Jenny in the pub for a glass of wine. That’s why he commented, he’s not saying you’re fat, or being controlling. It’s just a weird thing to do. Absolutely fine to do, you go for it, few chips won’t do you any harm, but yeah I can see why he said that.

@RumbleHoney

was there a typo in your OP? Did you run 30 miles?

Iif you'd rung him and told him you were feeling dizzy and probably needed salt, how would you have reacted if he'd suggested you nipped into Maccy's for some fries?

What a great idea! Or would you have been posting on here instead that he was unsupportive and tying to sabotage your efforts to be healthy?

#savage

@GreyCarpet I'd have felt fine with that.

Totally agree.

So why not focus on what the real issue is - lack of support and acknowledgement of your struggles by your partner. And then have a clam conversation with him about how you would like to be supported. There is no need to focus on a trivial issue of a food comment because you are not really upset about that, are you? It’s just a proxy reason for your frustration. And if you focus on it, the real issue will be unresolved and your partner will think you are being a bit precious making a big deal out of an innocent comment.

I'd be texting back "pot telling kettle"🙄.

I think it kind of comes across as though you wanted fries and was making up a healthy reason to get them. Just eat the fries.

probably not the best way to replace the salts from sweating to be honest. But if you want the fries just get them.

@dreamer24 Sorry, I didn't mean to offend - I've been there post-pregnancy! And I am by no means a marathon runner at all, I could have just run a half-marathon at my fittest. And like I said, a 3 mile run is great. I likely need a knee replacement so can't hobble that now! And I'm sorry you didn't feel well but it is true that I never would have to about about fuelling/taking water for that distance because I never felt it was needed and that seems to be the same as most people I've run with over the years.

There’s no point making an effort to go for a run if you’re eating chips on your way home though, why should he praise you for making such an odd/funny choice 🤣

I’d literally think it was a joke if anyone I knew said they’d done this, it’s not exactly criticism to point out it’s a silly thing to do in the same breath as saying you’ve made a huge effort to be healthy this week.

I honestly wanted to 😂

"Like someone saying I’m going to my AA meeting tonight, then meeting Jenny in the pub for a glass of wine"

Did I miss op updating to confirm she had an addiction to chips?

@Changingplace
Where did I say I wanted praise?? I said I wanted support and a neutral "ok" or similar. That would have sufficed. Anything other than blatant criticism, basically.

To me it sounds like the sort of comment that comes from a place of "oh she's expecting a comment and I really do not care what she's doing" Now that doesn't say anything great about your relationship either.....I mean is he generally a nice loving partner in which case either ignore it or offer to bring him chips or he generally annoys the heck out of you in which case dump him. Your post does sound defensive...."Only chips, needed the salt, third run of the week" I mean WHO CARES?

😂😂😂

Why didn’t you? You should have. That would have been totally normal, a bit of a piss take back, a light hearted exchange that made your point. No high drama and offence.

You apparently cared enough to comment.

I don't know why you were fuming when your partner said what he did , but don't mind when most PPs are saying the same in here .

Running is about listening to how your body feels. You could run 7k a day, everyday, and still feel woozy one day after running for 10 minutes. Feeling ‘off’ on a run is often the first sign for me that I’m coming down with something.

Some people tolerate heat better than others. Some need more fluids than others.

If you’re feeling rough after running and you can tolerate milk, it’s actually really good for rehydration.