Absolutely sick of negativity towards boys

[Notgreatisit]

I have 3 sons , I love being a mother and we both wanted 3 children and we are so lucky to have them. I remember so, so distinctly being pregnant with my third and I had to have minor surgery, I was awake during it and the dr asked me what sex I was having and I said a boy and she was consoling me as I had told her I had two boys already . I was absolutely disgusted tbh and she actually said “ah you are disappointed though really “. I said “absolutely not , that’s a ridiculous comment “.
I’ve had this so much , I never gave it a second thought before kids , I was and am v much kids are kids . The last day I met a woman and she has one son and two daughters and she actually said “I’ve aged 10 years since having my son, I can’t imagine how you cope with with 3” in front of my sons ….. Tons of comments through the years like this, absolutely tons .
I can’t even imagine talking to someone with daughters like this, so so rude and horrible tbh .
My sons are absolutely lovely , they are older now and I’ve a fantastic and close relationship with them . They are interesting, really funny and love hanging out with us . I have a two teen boys and one pre teen and all easy going and lovely . They are and always have been extremely physical but also as a female I am too , I’m in my late 30’s and still into climbing and surfing etc . My friends are all older having kids and the talk is shocking ; “fingers crossed we are having a girl”! Etc etc . in front of me and others with boys. My friend just texted me this evening re. another friend with “it’s a girl, she’s so happy and relieved “ 🤷‍♀️
I was viciously bullied by a girl mentally and physically in secondary school, I work as a secondary teacher and I find individuals difficult and in fact on the whole it’s the parents of girls who are stressed out of their minds and struggling in Teenage years, in mn the vast majority of parents of teens struggling have girls . I don’t at all think girls are harder than boys or boys harder than girls ,children are individuals and their challenges with everyone . The only noticeable difference I found in reality is that my boys were way ,way more physically active when young and now to be honest. I’m presuming that’s something natural maybe or hormonal and people don’t like it. If I had a penny for my friends with both boys and girls say “ she’s so easy by comparison, she’s so quiet and draws
and colours etc …” obviously pre teen.
The negativity towards boys is awful, my older sons notice it now too.

Yes it true....I think. Although depends on what culture you live in. In some cultures, having a boy is seen as better. In the UK though, having a girl is overwhelmingly seen as better.

I’ve got 2 boys and never had any negative comments. Sorry that you have, especially in front of them.

People do talk some shit don't they?

If you wanted an arsehole's opinion, you'd fart.

Don't let it get to you. Boys and girls are both fab and gits in all the same ways 😁

When I had my second son I got the same daughter bollocks. I think some people just don't take time to think about what they're saying. My dad used to describe it as opening your mouth and letting the wind waggle your tongue

You only have to read the "gender disappointment" threads on here to see that boys are regarded as second best. I have 3 boys as well and just regard myself as very lucky to have 3 happy healthy kids, surely that's all that matters?

Yes I've had stupid comments, and I just shrug my shoulders and say they are fab and I've thoroughly enjoyed bringing them up - which I have.

@OvO have a look at “guess the gender/sex” on mumsnet or “gender disappointment” on here and if you are a maths/statistics person you’ll see the vast majority want a girl

💯 @MissyB1

If you'd had all girls you'd notice how much people say things like "Girls are bitches" "Girls are manipulative" "In mn the vast majority of parents of teens struggling have girls."
I'm on mumsnet a lot and I really don't see that or agree with you that that's the case. It's just one of those silly sexist things that people see because they want to. So I sympathised with you until you started doing exactly the same thing you are complaining of!

Interesting when I was growing up in the 80s, boys were definitely the favourites. My brother was the golden child, and my girlfriends thought the same about their brothers.

I wonder if the doc would have said the same thing if you’d already got two girls though? Maybe she just thought you’d like your third to be a different gender rather than have the same again.

Anyway, for centuries having a son was seen as the prize, I’m glad people are recognising the value of girls. Neither is better obviously.

I have one of each.

Your examples aren't negative comments imo. I wonder why you think they are. Why shouldn't people want a girl if they already have a boy? To say so, and to be pleased that your wish has come true, isn't a negative comment about boys. You are seeing negativity where I see none. If you are genuinely happy to have 3 boys (and why wouldn't you be) why does someone suggesting that they think boys are harder work, or saying that they want a girl, make you feel so defensive?

I have 2 boys and 1 girl, all I've ever heard is how much harder girls are than boys ! And I agree tbh,but she has ADHD so that's likely a big part of why she's a handful. I always wanted both so I'm happy.

I’m with you. I’ve heard some incredibly bold comments about boys (loud, hard work etc) said right in front of my son! Leaving aside the ignorant stereotyping, they are being incredibly ill mannered by saying that in front of my (male) child! If he went on a rude rant making generalisations about, say, people over 60, I’m sure they’d be first to take offence!

I have both a boy and girl, and I loathe the stereotyping of both genders equally but there’s something particularly infuriating about the rude, unthinking way boys are discussed. It’s nasty.

Mum of boys and I get genuine 'wow, well done' s from the elders in the community (am Asian so males are valued more in some traditional circles). I get pity from other women. I correct them every time how lucky I am to have the kids I do. I adore them and they go against every horrible boy stereotype

Sexism is really annoying in either direction.

Women who say girls are harder get right on my nerves. Try being less annoying then!

Yeah, one of my friends has 3 boys and has said a number of times how grateful she is that she doesn’t have a girl because …random negative comment about girls.

I think it says more about those around you.

There are still plenty of places in the world that are son-biased, enough to make boys the preferred sex overall.

If you'd been expecting your third girl you'd have been told it was sad she wasn't a boy. You must surely have heard 'boys are more loving', 'girls are more difficult in their teens' and other stereotypes the other way round? And I absolutely guarantee people would express 'joke' sympathy with you for having three daughters too.

I have two sons. Never noticed any negativity at all towards boys. I guess if you already have a couple of sons people may imagine you want a daughter next so that you have a bit of both.

I have 2 boys and a girl never had any negative comments when I just had my boys.

Nope@Glaucous I don’t think either sex is more difficult than the other at all!!
I work in secondary and I do find much more negativity towards teenage girls, massively so. I find it totally unacceptable. Go and look at the teenage boards on here , I’d say 70% are from parents of girls , go into “gender disappointment”, I’d say at least 90% if not 99% are from expectant parents of boys. That’s a fact, have a look.

I had three boys too, @Notgreatisit - I loved it, and still do now they are adults.

Maybe I was lucky - I never had anyone make negative comments about boys or how difficult it must be to have only boys.

It’s called confirmation bias op. You’re obviously very sensitive to this so you’re hearing it everywhere. In actual fact you’re the one that’s ben derogatory about girls in your post!

however, I would also say that that a lot of people have realised just how problematic patriarchal societies are (VAWG/ violence etc) and so that probably leans into wanting things the other way for a while.

Strangely enough, I'm one of four girls and my dad had all the negative comments about being the only man in the house.

The worst thing I heard was when I told this woman I was one of four girls she said: "Well at least your mother tried."

I'm lucky to have 2 girls and a boy . My boy was first and a daughter second then a stepdaughter third . They all have their joys and sorrows but I love all 3 together as my children , sometimes I focus on my stepdaughter a little more as her mother is no longer with us , my daughter as she's going through a difficult time and then my son as he lives so far away from us but they all have a place in my heart ❤️

Honestly my sister has 3 wonderful girls and no doesn’t receive anything like the negativity I’ve gotten .