Absolutely sick of negativity towards boys

[Notgreatisit]

I have 3 sons , I love being a mother and we both wanted 3 children and we are so lucky to have them. I remember so, so distinctly being pregnant with my third and I had to have minor surgery, I was awake during it and the dr asked me what sex I was having and I said a boy and she was consoling me as I had told her I had two boys already . I was absolutely disgusted tbh and she actually said “ah you are disappointed though really “. I said “absolutely not , that’s a ridiculous comment “.
I’ve had this so much , I never gave it a second thought before kids , I was and am v much kids are kids . The last day I met a woman and she has one son and two daughters and she actually said “I’ve aged 10 years since having my son, I can’t imagine how you cope with with 3” in front of my sons ….. Tons of comments through the years like this, absolutely tons .
I can’t even imagine talking to someone with daughters like this, so so rude and horrible tbh .
My sons are absolutely lovely , they are older now and I’ve a fantastic and close relationship with them . They are interesting, really funny and love hanging out with us . I have a two teen boys and one pre teen and all easy going and lovely . They are and always have been extremely physical but also as a female I am too , I’m in my late 30’s and still into climbing and surfing etc . My friends are all older having kids and the talk is shocking ; “fingers crossed we are having a girl”! Etc etc . in front of me and others with boys. My friend just texted me this evening re. another friend with “it’s a girl, she’s so happy and relieved “ 🤷‍♀️
I was viciously bullied by a girl mentally and physically in secondary school, I work as a secondary teacher and I find individuals difficult and in fact on the whole it’s the parents of girls who are stressed out of their minds and struggling in Teenage years, in mn the vast majority of parents of teens struggling have girls . I don’t at all think girls are harder than boys or boys harder than girls ,children are individuals and their challenges with everyone . The only noticeable difference I found in reality is that my boys were way ,way more physically active when young and now to be honest. I’m presuming that’s something natural maybe or hormonal and people don’t like it. If I had a penny for my friends with both boys and girls say “ she’s so easy by comparison, she’s so quiet and draws
and colours etc …” obviously pre teen.
The negativity towards boys is awful, my older sons notice it now too.

I think that has more about the sort of people who post on here, remember there as so many man-haters and it trickles down to little boys. Any suggestion that the statistics 'prove' it is utter rubbish considering the bias in the sample! It would be the same as standing outside Old Trafford on a match day and asking passers-by who their favourite team is!

I’ve never understood it tbh. When trying to get pregnant I didn’t care what sex my baby was. I’d always pictured having a boy though. I was so delighted when I found out he was a boy. I’d love to have 3 boys- I’m very envious of you!

Also the comments that you only a mom till they are married bullocks.

And yet, here you are doing the exact same about girls…

“I was viciously bullied by a girl mentally and physically in secondary school, I work as a secondary teacher and I find individuals difficult and in fact on the whole it’s the parents of girls who are stressed out of their minds and struggling in Teenage years, in mn the vast majority of parents of teens struggling have girls”

I have taught in mixed schools, all boys schools and all girls schools and I will always say that all boys is the easiest!

I have one of each but a friend of mine has three boys and I've heard all the comments you have and many behind her back! I've also had loads of people tell me how difficult my daughter will be when she's a teenager. It really is all a load of shite. It's gender stereotyping bollocks.

I got a lot of these comments, from women, when I told them I was having a boy.

It was baffling to have my gender insulted whilst getting a strong vibe of it feeling like sympathy comments because I was getting the worse one.

MIL keeps "reassuring" me that boys are better in front of her 2yo great niece.

I can't understand why she just has to comment continually at all when she loves both of them!

I recently had a baby boy and honestly, so far, have not received any negative comments. I'm mad about him, as is my husband and all of our extended family. I think people can get caught up in the idea of having a mini version of themselves. I know my mum was disappointed in me as a daughter because I was never interested in dressing up and still to this day detest make up. We get along much better now but when I was a teen she was endlessly frustrated/ disappointed in me because I was not the stereotypical girl that she wanted.

I adore my DS OP. He's 41 now and I can honestly say he is my best friend and my pride and joy.

That is lovely to read ❤️

I think you’ll get negative comments when you have three of the same sex regardless of which they are — it’s interesting that commenters with only two boys don’t seem to experience this.

I have a mixture and I have to say that some of the stereotypes are true: boys = more affectionate, girls = more drama with friendships as teens, boys = more active etc. But none of these things are necessarily negatives. They’re just different stages with different kids.

Oh that’s lovely!

I’ve one of each and my DS is easier than my DD and much less expensive. DD is fab, of course, but the drama that follows girls around is exhausting.

To be honest in my experience, in kind of ‘bantery’ conversations it’s always assumed that the Dad wants boys and the mum wants girls. We know a couple with three girls and everyone was sort of consoling the man in a jokey way - like ‘oh gutted another girl, you’ll be surrounded by princesses etc’ and quite a few comments the other way about how Mums just want a girl…just gender stereotyping?

My dad had two daughters and always got "oooh yours totally outnumbered aren't you?". He was TBF, even the dogs were always girls. I've had a daughter (and a female dog) and DH gets similar. My mum always got "oh the teen years will be awful for you" (they actually weren't).

My aunt had two boys and always got "oooh they must be such a handful". One was, one wasn't.

I think you probably hear more of the "negatives" if you've got one or the other. Because people think you will empathise.

I have 3 - one boy and 2 girls.

My first one was my son.

They're all wonderful and I was so happy after each birth.

Op, 6 boys lovely boys here, now lovely men, and I got those sorts of comments too 30-40 years ago. Genuinely never had a preference to begin with and after the first two had a slightly active preference for more boys as they were extremely loving and affectionate (plus I could reuse all the clothes and toys etc 🤣). When I got these sorts of comments, I’d just say happy with a healthy child and, if they persisted, ask them if they were projecting their own preferences as that’s what I think is happening whether for boys or girls.
As part of my job, I travelled to various counties and, in many, I got a lot of compliments on having so many boys - “you are truly blessed” etc. I also heard a few times “your husband must be a powerful man” 🤣 (far from it, been divorced 25 years from him).

I have 2 of each and have never had any negative comments about the boys. The girls were harder work parenting in my experience.

The precise reason I stated earlier that I preferred teaching in all-boys schools, none of the drama-llama nonsense, if I told girl off in Year 7 she still remembered and resented it in Year 11.

It might be in woke lefty mentally ill circles, but it’s not as far as I’m concerned, I’ve got 3 boys and they’re all brilliant.

I pushed back hard on the comments from PIL who wanted DS2 to be a girl. I’ve still had the odd one over the years (he’s 16), where MIL in particular wants me to join her in commiseration at not having a daughter, something I absolutely refuse to do. I think she genuinely doesn’t believe me when I say I’m perfectly happy with - and very grateful to have- my two boys. I don’t take it well - I can be very spiky in response - but she hasn’t stopped.

She even makes the comments when BIL is there.

People are weird! I'm not sure it's just about boys though - I bet if you had three girls you'd have similar but in reverse.

I had boy/girl twins and there are some very stereotypical (if sometimes true) opinions out there. DD was calm and easy as a baby/toddler, DS was chaos. Everyone said 'wait till they are teens, it will be the other way round'.

They are now 16. Luckily DD is still a delight (well she's very loud and confident and full of herself, but all in a good way, and she is great fun and no trouble) - and DS is also an absolute pleasure. I know some children (of both genders) at school can be real bitches and/or bullies. Equally they can struggle with anxiety and mental health issues. Touch wood we have been lucky so far.....

DSis had two boys, and two older step daughters. She always said how glad she was to have the girls as she could do hair and nails etc with them. But if she'd had my DD she'd have been disappointed as DD isn't into that at all...😂

I think any sort of generalisation is pointless! Plus we should be very happy to have any children and love them for themselves.

I have 2 and very often have comments made including in front of them. Makes me so angry and I still have not perfected a decent comeback to them.

I have 3 boys. I would actually have liked a girl each time. I’m from a family of girls and most of my friends had girls. I’ve never really had much negativity though. My boys are not very “physical” boys they play piano and string instruments, are all ND and I suppose, quite geeky. They like building computers, programming and science programmes and activities. One works in science and two in computing now. I’m glad that I have all boys. They’ve been very easy growing up and I think, a girl would have changed the household dynamics.

Just wanted to say that phrase about an arsehole's opinion is amazing and I'm definitely going to be using it 👏😂

I have 2 of each but I longed for a daughter and would have felt incomplete without one. That doesn't mean everyone feels the same way though - nor would I project that onto anyone else. My mum loves boy's and never wanted a daughter - one of many reasons for her to be cruel and cold towards me.

For what it's worth, my daughter's - despite neither of them reaching puberty yet - are dramatic, demanding, and very hard work!! My eldest boy is a dream and my middle boy is a "typical" boisterous, hyperactive, heavy-handed boy, who could talk the legs off a donkey! They are all different and all a joy in their own way - regardless of their gender.