He does not want to work

[what2do2donow]

AIBU to think he does not want to work?

Ok he stopped working because of arthritis and he was on sick pay insurance for 3 years (half his monthly salary paid monthly) not enough to look after a family of 4

Yes his leg is not great but I think there are jobs he can still do but refused

His insurance pay is now finished and I said to him to do some sport coaching training so that he can volunteer at our sons running club or football club or just train our son or just to stay active as advised by the doctor but he said he can't do the training because of his leg.

I said take a small customer service remote job he said no

I said do meta blue print training or the Google version online, he said no.

He is home all day everyday watching TV and hasn't missed and football matches in 3 years .

AIBU here? Because, I don't see any reason y he can't find a job to do at all. He is very lazy and would rather wallow in poverty than
get up and work.

Pls can anyone suggest any other job that someone with arthritis (knee) can do?

@Shinyandnew1

what2do2donow
I don't own the current house we are staying in but use to own the house we lived in for a facade

What sort of facade?

Do you have the proceeds of a house in your bank account or was it mortgaged?

I meant decade not facade

I do not wish to disclose if I have the money in an account or not for personal and private reasons

How does autism stop you working? Not criticising, just genuinely curious. I'm also Autistic and work with lots of Autistic young people.

Plough on with your plans.

He is lazy and has always been lazy.
Let him co parent and sort his stuff out.

You are rightly done.
Get out asap and don't look back.

Agreed. I hope your plans come to fruition soon, OP.

Your first comment is a bit ignorant. Asking someone with arthritis to coach sport is not madness. Exercise and movement are essential to easing arthritis pain and keeping quality of life. Coaching a sport requires some movement but doesn’t mean you’re going to be putting the same sort of strain on your body as a player would.

My brother has been a PE teacher, and football & rugby coach for 35 years with arthritis and, for the last 20, a hip replacement. He’s nearly 60 now, still working and coaching. He puts most men his age to shame. His arthritis bothers him. It’s effort to get going. But his quality of life is much better than it would be if he hadn’t always pushed himself to be active.

He has no intention of working. He's found a sap who's willing to support him. I'd send him on holiday and move out when he's gone.

Depends on the level of disability it causes. I worked as a disability outreach worker for many years and I can tell you that whatever the disability, no two people are affected in the same way.

It’s an abbreviation. Grow the fuck up.

I was taking the mick because the op was accusing her partner of laziness, that's all. I knew it was an abbreviation. There was no need to swear at me.

She’s posted for advice. Why would you take the mick ?

Typical double standards MN. If this was a disabled woman the partner would be called an abuser. Yes I think there are jobs he could do. But sports coaching - no.

Why not ? I was an outreach worker for the disabled and I’ve placed wheelchair users in jobs as sports coaches. If they have the skills, disability needn’t be a barrier with reasonable adjustment in place.

I also do not get the obsession with OP abbreviating ‘school run’.

What is stopping you from working? Autism does not stop you working does it?

I'm a severely disabled wheelchair user.

I understand that some disabled people are capable of doing a job such as sports coaching.

Personally I try to maintain my movement by doing swimming (non weight bearing), seated exercise class and I'm trying to h a new seated yoga class.

I've also done various classes run by my local hospital physio service which are welcoming for disabled people (most classes I have tried are not) including Pilates, tai chi and various other things.

I understand it's important for people with arthritis, just as for people with any disability to keep moving.

However sports coach is not the most obvious job to spring to mind if someone has arthritis as quite apart from anything else at my classes it's always made clear you should do the movements the best your body can. As a sports coach he wouldn't be a participant who can listen to his body he would be needing to keep the session going and not be able to stop.

Look up the stats for autism and employment. Only 3 in 10 autistic people are in paid work.

Yes it does in a lot of cases. I was a disability outreach worker. ASD comes in various forms and can be combined with ADHD to produce severe disability. To be employable you have to be reliable and even with reasonable adjustment in place and the best will in the world from good, empathetic employers, it doesn’t always work out because some are not capable of the sustainable reliability.

So much judgment combined with ignorance. Basically the attitude seems to be if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist - I thought people were more enlightened these days.

As a disabilty outreach worker I’ve placed wheelchair users in positions as sports coaches. Not being able to fully participate doesn’t mean that with the right support, you can’t teach what you know.

I have arthritis in my left knee and fd up roght knee.

I get steroid jabs to contrpl thepain and take hemp cbd oil amongst other supplements.

I work full time, I only missed c3m working when my hubby died and the kids wrre still at school, so I had to switch from self employment to employee.

He is a Cocklodger, you need to decide if he's an expense you can afford or is worth paying for.

You are right.

However, his arthritis has resisted all medications. He receives injections, but the relief only lasts for a week before the pain returns, and he has developed an allergy to the only tablets that were effective. Despite this, there is no reason he can’t take on a remote job or volunteer.

Sorry about your husband

Workshy, lazy people like him make me sick. There are very few disabilities that stop people from working. Mainly profound learning disabilities.

I'm a disabled wheelchair user with multiple chronic conditions, in constant pain, most days can't get out of bed, but I still work full time. If he can sit watching the football, he can sit on a laptop and work. He can empty the dishwasher, which is more than I can do.

I can't imagine pretending I can't work because I have a bad knee, ffs. I'd kill to just have a bad knee.

Also confused as to why autism means someone can't work. In some very severe cases, yes, but if you're able to sit and write posts on Mumsnet... 🤔