He does not want to work

[what2do2donow]

AIBU to think he does not want to work?

Ok he stopped working because of arthritis and he was on sick pay insurance for 3 years (half his monthly salary paid monthly) not enough to look after a family of 4

Yes his leg is not great but I think there are jobs he can still do but refused

His insurance pay is now finished and I said to him to do some sport coaching training so that he can volunteer at our sons running club or football club or just train our son or just to stay active as advised by the doctor but he said he can't do the training because of his leg.

I said take a small customer service remote job he said no

I said do meta blue print training or the Google version online, he said no.

He is home all day everyday watching TV and hasn't missed and football matches in 3 years .

AIBU here? Because, I don't see any reason y he can't find a job to do at all. He is very lazy and would rather wallow in poverty than
get up and work.

Pls can anyone suggest any other job that someone with arthritis (knee) can do?

This is not council property

Sorry I do not wish to disclose the reasons why I moved it is very personal and private but it's got nothing to do with him at all.

Although this place was to be a temporary stay and it is still but I am not leaving here going anywhere with him

So you've had enough of him, totally understandable, you work, he doesn't, so what exactly is stopping you just walking away OP? You're really not being clear about what your problem is, in my opinion, or perhaps I'm just being thick??

I thought it's clear that I have had enough of him being lazy, not making efforts at all to work support is family financially. Yes, he got bad arthritis but i strongly believe there things he can do & if he's depressed, yes understandable but he will never admit it and seek help.

Wouldn't u be fed up of someone watching football all day when there's something he can do managing their arthritis.

what2do2donow
we had a big sit down conversation, nearly broke up, as in we both asked if we stay together or not. Those sort of definite words open a can of worms that sometimes doesn’t have to be opened, other times it changes everything x I’m sorry you’re both here x

I think the poster was asking why you can’t just walk away as you are not being clear about it.

@Catza

I have said several times that I have plans & intend to when things fall into place.

Mid 40s?

He still has 25 years left of working life. Have him retrain as a bus driver or remote home worker or call centre work, etc.

I'd give him an ultimatum that he either works at something or you split. Does he really expect to laze around watching TV for the next 25 years? There are people with much worse ailments who get to work everyday.

What type of example is he setting for your children?

Exactly my thoughts but he wouldn't listen to any thing about getting done remote job to do or retraining to do something else or even if it's just for the knowledge to help the kids o volunteer at their sport club.

I have frequent talk with my son on what is expected of him as an adult & I will continue to have that talk even after I move out with them

Just kick him out then. He's idle, taking the piss and you don't even like or respect him by the sound of it.

I wouldn't be too sure if he is the father of your kids and puts in for custody. Get legal advice and act on it.

Why are people throwing out driving jobs on this thread? Of course he can't become a taxi or bus driver with a very painful, swollen knee 🙄

I can understand why he now might be scared of returning to work, anxiety, depression etc, but that should not have stopped him from stepping up at home by him doing all the cleaning, shopping, laundry, childcare etc. I suspect the OP wouldn't be so done if he had.

@tooeasy

The children are fine and have the best of the best so there is no need for "poor children " statement

I work and I have and I am able to provide the best of all that they need.

I am just sick and tired of living with a lazy deadbeat Person

So you want everyone to agree with you that he's a lazy bastard, which we've all done. You've told me off for asking what's actually stopping you leaving, as you 'have plans & intend to when things fall into place'. So what exactly is the point of continuing this thread? You've got what you wanted, you won't tell us what your 'plans' are or what you're waiting for. This whole thread seems pointless now, so I'm off to find something worth reading about.

What things are going to 'fall into place' before you can leave him, though? You don't love him and you've lost any respect you had for him, so I think you're probably past the point in your relationship where it's going to make any difference whether he has a job or not.

Still confused about the house you own, but don't want to live in, although did at some point live in 'for a facade', to be honest.

I would imagine that communication within this relationship is absolutely infuriating!

Are you as avoidant in real life as you are on here?

Tsss! You will be told in a minute, like I was, to go back to the 1870s, 'because marriage is just a piece of paper'.

He sounds like a cocklodger.

No wonder you've got no respect for him.

I am just sick and tired of living with a lazy deadbeat Person

Don't live with a lazy deadbeat person, then. You've already said you're planning to leave him. You don't need to find the man a job first, you know.