Would this annoy you- husband - plane seats

[airc]

We went away recently, 3 hour flight.

It turned out our seats were not together.

My husband was on his own at the back and I had two seats, one for me and my 1 year old son on my lap and one for my 3 year old.

When we sat down, I said- don't worry I'll be fine. Let's see how it goes, maybe we can swap. Come and see us when we are up there.

He did not move from his seat once. I saw him go to the toilet. But not ONCE did he come up to our row, ask how we are OR take one of the children.

I was furious.

AIBU ?

It is, if you assume all men are shit simply because your own father was. Most men I know are great fathers and husbands. To not have children is perfectly fine, but it is sad if you chose not to because you don’t trust 50% of the population.

It's really not 😂

I agree that he was selfish, my 2 are Teens and while we always pay to sit together on the last flight we took there was a cock up and DH was sat quite a few rows away and he STILL popped down for a chat and to see if we were all ok.
I will say though that splitting the kids up may not have worked, my DS would have kicked off massively if he couldn't have sat with his big sister at that age.

The children don't like being apart from their mother. Another one who hasn't bothered to read it.

It's a 3 hour flight - the cabin is secured and no one is allowed to stand for what 30 minutes from the time it leaves the terminal to getting to cruising speed. Same on the descent. That's an hour gone.

In flight service is an hour where you can't just walk up and down talking to people.

That leaves only one hour in which he could have come to speak to OP. If the children were contended why disturb them?!

Honestly there are many things to get riled up about but this isn't one of them

Did you miss the part where she told him she would be fine but expected him to read her mind from 10 rows back?

Well you should have booked seats together to start with. You should not have said you would be fine and expect what sounds like a disengaged dad to step up. Make him take at least one kid on return.

Have you read ANY of OP’s posts?

He doesn't love you because love means being selfless

I've heard it all now.

For the love of God listen to yourself

No there isn't! People change seats all the time, with cabin crews blessing. Have you never seen people change seats after doors have closed and its clear what seats are empty? So that they can be with family, get out of a middle seat or simply have have more legroom.
Ryanair even spent years with unreserved seating until they realised they could charge more for booking.

You think in the case of a plane crash all the body parts would stay neatly in the assigned seats?

Edited: sorry, quoted the wrong person!

Get a fucking grip..

I travel for work quite a bit and this gives me the rage! So many times he’s sat in the row in front, or across the aisle and he’s chilling out, napping and she’s got the kids. Makes ME want to kick the back of HIS seat. Lazy, shitty father!

Why wasn't your DH with one kid and you with the other? ? At the very least that’s only fair.

tell him he’s taking the pair of them on the way back. Do not compromise or back down and don’t you DARE even so much as look in his direction.

next time, be VERY clear that you have 2 kids and they have 2 parents and that he pulls his weight or he’ll be seeing them 50/50 all on his own.

Sperm donor

Do you really think that in the event of a plane crash all the body parts would remain neatly in the assigned seats?

Things will end up all over the place. Likely in the ocean, or in several places if the plane hit land. There will likely be explosions, sending things everywhere.

There is no way this can be true.

Of course you can. Not during start of course but after that people swap all the time. Especially if there are empty better seats.

My DH did this to me on a flight I had a screaming toddler and 4 year old he was much further back headphones on said he didn’t hear we have been married for years I do remind him from time to time ( every flight) how tough it was! It was an internal US flight and an American woman tapped me on the shoulder told me she had kids and I should have given her Dramamine to make her sleep through the flight This did not help funnily enough! Remember it ( not so ) fondly

This sounds like a "budget" airline where you booked a flight but did not book seats [and pay extra] at the same time. Put simply in that case when you check in they simply "allocate" seats. Children have to be next to a carer [of course] but there is a theory that "couples" are, as a policy, seated apart.

The idea is that if you all want to sit together you pay for that "privilege" in advance. It is probably likely that - in any event - if you leave seating to check in most, if not all, of the three seat rows will have been taken.

I have been looking for a flight and have found one at £18.90 basic. Seat is an extra £11 at the time! I believe it is called "drip pricing". Bag at £35 so from £20 basic to about £66 in reality!

And what did he say about it all afterwards? How did he justify his behaviour?

You can’t just move this around though as the oxygen masks etc won’t be in the right place. The children need to be in their allocated seats or at least close to them.

It’s a tough one as it can be difficult to move around in an airplane, especially if he’s quite far away.

What?

That's why when ours were 1 and 3 we had the good sense to go to Cornwall or Norfolk .

If the person next to you couldn’t get up easily then it wouldn’t have been easy for you to swap. What would him coming up actually have achieved?

You can’t just take a baby from their assigned seat (at least not to a completely different part of the plane). They are not allowed to just sit anywhere on a plane; the oxygen masks won’t be available.