Are we invited or not?

[WeddingConfusion]

We've received an invitation to DH's niece's wedding later in the year but it's not clear to us whether we're invited to the whole day or just the evening.

On the front of the invitation our names have been beautifully handwritten but the rest of it - details, inserts and RSVP card - are all printed.

One of the inserts is an Order of the Day giving timings of everything from guests arrival, ceremony, photographs etc. through to carriages at midnight. Based on the fact we've been sent one of these DH and I are assuming we're invited to the whole day. However...

Underneath the printed details of the date and venue, in the same beautiful handwriting, it says "evening party starts at 19.00". This is half an hour earlier than the time on the Order of the Day and it's making us wonder if that's the time for evening guests to arrive and we are, in fact, only invited to the evening. If that's the case though then we don't understand why we've been sent an Order of the Day if we don't need one.

Obviously one of us will have to phone SIL for clarification but before we do I thought I'd put it to a poll and see what others think. It is, of course, quite possible we're overthinking it and it's perfectly obvious (to everyone but us!) but it would be dreadfully embarrassing to turn up to the bit we're not actually invited to or to only turn up in the evening when we should have been there all day!

YABU - It's perfectly clear you're invited to the whole day
YANBU - It's obvious you're only invited to the evening

It's dietary requirements rather than food choices, so it's still ambiguous to me!

carriages at midnight

err... what?? Is it Cinderella getting married again?

In the time it took you to write that you could have called her and asked.

That's a very normal phrase to see on an invitation - whether for a wedding, a ball or a posh party!

I did wonder if I was just being a bit thick! I do feel that being absolutely crystal clear is quite important when it comes to something as significant as a wedding!

Poor SIL is wracked with anxiety at the best of times and she'll be mortified if she has to tell us we're only invited to the evening as she'll no doubt think we'll feel slighted - which couldn't be further than the truth!

how far would you have to travel?

If you’re close enough to attend their wedding, you’re close enough to give them a 5min phone call.

Perhaps they wrote in the changed time evening reception on all the invitations, not thinking that it might confuse some daytime guests.

YANBU to think it is unclear. Pls come back and tell us when you find out!

When I’ve been invited to evening only, it’s always been very clear.

E.g. “we would love if you could join us for the evening celebration from 7pm at X venue”.

I had one that also said “if you would also like to attend the ceremony at x church you would be most welcome, and we can recommend x pub for lunch and x attraction locally to visit and enjoy after the ceremony before joining us for the evening”.

Another vote for you being invited for the full day. I attended a wedding recently and there info showing the timings of the day - never seen that before. It helped to know the gap between ceremony and food so we could take snacks. 😆

I would think full day, optionally evening only if you can't make the full day. Very unsure why you wouldn't juat call to ask instead of posting here.

Couldn’t you just phone your neice?

* Poor SIL is wracked with anxiety at the best of times *

not the only one in this scenario!

Definitely confused. Unless they think you'll all bugger off and want to make sure you'll come back in time? So bizarre.

I think it is likely that you have been invited to the whole day and that the time of the evening party has been changed since the Order of the Day was printed, so rather than have them printed again the revised time was written by hand

Ah you're on to something

I think you're probably invited to the whole day BUT if you were evening-only guests they might have included the Order of the Day to tell you what time you're getting a sausage roll/bit of cake and when the shindig ends. Please call them.

@WhySoManySocks @GRex @Witchbitch20 and anyone else who missed the relevant bit in the OP - of course I'll be phoning SIL for clarification! I've posted here in the meantime though as I'm interested to see whether anyone else finds it confusing

I can't vote - because it not being clear isn't an option. I think you'll need to confirm either way to be honest

It's really not clear. Poor SIL

OP, can you please update us after your call to your SIL because I'm weirdly invested in this now!

“Sorry to bother you about this SIL, i’m presuming evening only invite but wanted to be 100% certain as don’t went to double book “

I think all day, but that it’s also really confusing writing that time on and people make these things way more complicated for everyone than is needed!

Let us know what SIL says :)

I don’t think the OP needs help on what to say, she’s already said she’s calling :)

I most certainly will!