Are we invited or not?

[WeddingConfusion]

We've received an invitation to DH's niece's wedding later in the year but it's not clear to us whether we're invited to the whole day or just the evening.

On the front of the invitation our names have been beautifully handwritten but the rest of it - details, inserts and RSVP card - are all printed.

One of the inserts is an Order of the Day giving timings of everything from guests arrival, ceremony, photographs etc. through to carriages at midnight. Based on the fact we've been sent one of these DH and I are assuming we're invited to the whole day. However...

Underneath the printed details of the date and venue, in the same beautiful handwriting, it says "evening party starts at 19.00". This is half an hour earlier than the time on the Order of the Day and it's making us wonder if that's the time for evening guests to arrive and we are, in fact, only invited to the evening. If that's the case though then we don't understand why we've been sent an Order of the Day if we don't need one.

Obviously one of us will have to phone SIL for clarification but before we do I thought I'd put it to a poll and see what others think. It is, of course, quite possible we're overthinking it and it's perfectly obvious (to everyone but us!) but it would be dreadfully embarrassing to turn up to the bit we're not actually invited to or to only turn up in the evening when we should have been there all day!

YABU - It's perfectly clear you're invited to the whole day
YANBU - It's obvious you're only invited to the evening

I would say you're invited to it all. But SIL can confirm.

I couldn't vote as I couldn't tell from what you've described. It's the handwritten bit about when the evening party that's confusing me. Otherwise I'd assume it had all been printed with all the information.

Sounds like you’re invited to the whole day. You wouldn’t send an order or day to someone just invited to the night. Most people have separate invites for just the evening part. I would just ask niece or SIL to clear up any confusion

I think you’re invited to all of it, but you’ll need to confirm. I can’t believe people can send such cryptic invitations though. So weird

Invited to the whole day and the reason that the evening time has been handwritten is because, since printing, the timings have changed by 30 minutes.

I agree with @Girlmama. Timings have changed so had to hand write that in. If you were just invited to the evening do isn't that a separate invitation (I don't know I've never been invited to one)?

I think you're invited to the whole thing, and timings have changed since the invitations were printed.

Is there a big gap between events, and is there a possibility guests might wander off or go back to their rooms in the middle of the day? That's probably why they've drawn attention to the timing of the evening thing.

I think just evening since thats the hand written bit. Wouldn't be worth making a note of that if you were there all day

Yes I wondered that too. However, if we're invited to the whole day and will therefore be there anyway what does it matter if the timings are a bit off?

No, no big gaps and only the time of the evening do has been amended. Personally I'd have scribbled the new time on the printed Order of the Day if an amendment was needed

This is why we're confused! There'd be no need to send an Order of the Day with an evening only invite, surely?

That's exactly the reason we're confused too!

Sounds like you just need to speak to your SIL.

I feel like a call to SIL on receiving the invitation would have cleared it up already

Or is it one of those cryptic invites where on examination, you are invited to the ceremony (to make up the numbers), but then expected to bugger off for hours and come back for the evening only? Worth checking for sure - this happened to me and some friends (or I wouldn’t know it was even a - cheapskate - thing). After the church we were just expected to go away and amuse ourselves for hours and come back for the evening event. I was shocked and pissed off. Never again, lol.

Goodness- just ring and clarify.

Oh definitely. I was just interested to see whether anyone else was confused or just us

You are invited for the whole day

Any mention of food choices?

I haven't voted because it's not obvious either way at all, is it! You'd be doing them a favour by asking as I imagine other guests will be confused as well and it will give them the opportunity to clarify.

We’ve just had similar to this.

Envelope received with lots of different bits of card/invitations

1 detailing the time and place of the ceremony (hotel)
1 detailing the time of the evening reception
1 detailing the accommodation, either this hotel or ones nearby
1 with a poem about wanting money in lieu of gifts

I assumed we were invited to the actual marriage and then back for the evening reception. Turns out after asking we are invited to the whole day.

No idea if there will be any food as nothing has been mentioned about a wedding breakfast and no dietary requirements asked after. We have been told who will be sat at the table with us though.

So based on this I have absolutely no idea which parts of the wedding you will be invited to, you will definitely have to ask and put us all out of our misery 😂

Yes, in the Order of the Day it gives the times for the after ceremony food and the evening food and on the RSVP is a space to write dietary requirements. So still none the wiser as it could apply to both or just the evening!

I'm so glad it's not just us!

You're invited to the whole day. The evening party will start at 7:30, but you'll already be there as you've had a full day invite.

Rsvp with food choices is not an evening invitation.