Clip-on tie at secondary school

[LongStoryLong]

Hi all, my first time in AIBU 😬 so you know, have at it!

My thing is this: my DC is going into Y7 at a large comprehensive secondary school in our town. It’s a grammar area, so all the children took the 11+ and most will have failed it, which is why they’re not going to the grammar school down the road (I think this is important context).

We went uniform shopping the other day, and I was dismayed to find that it’s ONLY possible to buy a clip-on tie for this school- real ties are not made.

AIBU on several counts really:

1. how common is this? Does anyone else have secondary DC at a school where ONLY clip-on ties are available?

2. I find this demeaning- like they’re saying to the kids, you didn’t make the grade, here, have this baby tie. Is that my prejudice talking?

3. I don’t know how it works in the town, but I worry that this will be used as a way of othering our kids by the grammar kids. Sure, it’s mean, but it’s a physical manifestation of their otherness, and I don’t see why that’s desirable.

FYI, we’ll be new to the school, so I’m not going to kick up a fuss (yet?!) but I just want others’ views so I can temper my own really.

Thank you all!

I’d be really unhappy. I think it’s deeply patronising to all children involved. If our kids can ride bikes, learn to read and do coding club, they can learn to tie a tie. Suspect this is probably a case of parents not being up to it. My 6 year old wears a tie on elastic cord (going into year 2 this september), in year 3 they are given an actual tie. Year 3 would be 7-8 year olds!

To be "really unhappy" about it, is slight overkill. An eye roll is about the extent of any displeasure, surely. It is hardly a life skill, and if they do need to wear a tie in future, they can learn to do so at that point.

One two up and through.

Clip on ties will always be tied correctly.
Not loose, tight etc and you have to have your top button done up to clip them on, so they largely look smarter and more consistent than randomly tied traditional ties.

I've never knowingly seen a clip on tie - you live and you learn on here. DS has been wearing a conventional tie since year four. He has always just done it up himself.

DH says ties are the realm of schoolboys and estate agents as people in his quite stuffy profession rarely wear them now.

I never had a tie at school (U.K., all girls). My DC have both had a real tie and tied it well since Y3 (I taught myself on YouTube, to teach them!)

Your secondary school journey is going to be BRUTAL if you get this uptight about a tie.

Homeschool if you are that bothered.

Choose another school if you are that bothered.

Primary schools are toilet training secondary schools don’t have time to teach students to tie a tie.

This really is a non issue.

Mine did 12 years ago, so not recent
Once it's put on, you can't tell the difference

My DC are both at state primary in London and they have 'real' ties to deal with during the winter terms!

Luckily I had to wear a real tie when I was at (state) primary school and I could still remember how to do it and so could teach them!

Last time I wore a proper tie was probably at some school disco fancy dress party lol

Our school (which is outstanding ) has clip on ties because they would never tie them properly and would insist on huge knot with top button undone. So we changed to clip on ties.

It's not because anyone think comp kids can't tie a tie.

It's for uniformity of appearance so they can't come up with interesting ways of tying it to show a degree of individualism.

'I don’t feel great about sending my DC into an environment every day where special measures have to be in place to stop them strangling each other. Do I just have to suck that up?'

A few years ago the M&S uniform for the women included a scarf - that scarf was held together by velcro at the back - for safety reasons ! Us female staff went into an environment every day where special measures were in place to stop us being strangled...

yes we sucked it up !

I was a bit surprised and disappointed when my eldest start secondary school to find that they only have clip on ties. I think it's a bit of a shame that they no longer need to learn how to dress themselves properly - clip on tie seems a bit false and pointless. But I do get the safety aspect, even if it does seem a bit woke.

Woke to stop kids pissing about peanutting each other?

I think it's a bit of a shame that they no longer need to learn how to dress themselves properly
We've been to a funeral this morning and I'm pleased to report that both my sons managed to tie their ties without any trouble despite having clip ons at school. I think it took me approximately 10 minutes to teach them how to do it on the first ooccasion they needed to. In fact my youngest who is actually interested in fashion can do several types of knot which he's taught himself.
Apart from weddings, funerals and the odd formal occasions most men rarely wear ties these days anyway. Even many professions where a suit and tie used to be daily wear have adopted fairly casual dress codes and those going into jobs that do require more formal dress or who like to dress that way are likely to master tie knotting fairly quickly. It's not really a skill that requires a 7 year apprenticeship.

So a skill you were able to learn in adulthood.

Secondary school teacher here. Most schools I know have clip on ones, number of reasons- there will be kids who find it hard to do. But the main reason is kids making them way too short!- I was guilty of this at school.so this way kids can’t flex the rules! Also boys like to be silly and take them off and whack each other with them or strangle each other!

And therefore no need for a tie at school, surely?

Parents in the UK are generally in favour of school uniforms. They also tend to associate smarter uniforms with better schools.

Hardly any jobs wear ties now. Think uniforms need to be totally rethought.