Clip-on tie at secondary school

[LongStoryLong]

Hi all, my first time in AIBU 😬 so you know, have at it!

My thing is this: my DC is going into Y7 at a large comprehensive secondary school in our town. It’s a grammar area, so all the children took the 11+ and most will have failed it, which is why they’re not going to the grammar school down the road (I think this is important context).

We went uniform shopping the other day, and I was dismayed to find that it’s ONLY possible to buy a clip-on tie for this school- real ties are not made.

AIBU on several counts really:

1. how common is this? Does anyone else have secondary DC at a school where ONLY clip-on ties are available?

2. I find this demeaning- like they’re saying to the kids, you didn’t make the grade, here, have this baby tie. Is that my prejudice talking?

3. I don’t know how it works in the town, but I worry that this will be used as a way of othering our kids by the grammar kids. Sure, it’s mean, but it’s a physical manifestation of their otherness, and I don’t see why that’s desirable.

FYI, we’ll be new to the school, so I’m not going to kick up a fuss (yet?!) but I just want others’ views so I can temper my own really.

Thank you all!

Most primary schools have polo shirts. It is the head's decision and different head's will have different preferences regardless of primary or secondary.

It’s not about strangulation, it’s about peanutting, where one boy (it’s always boys) grabs the tie of another and pulls it really tight so it’s a real struggle to undo the now tiny knot. It was a constant pain in the arse when my school had normal ties and it’s a delight not to have to deal with it anymore now that they are all in clip on ties. That plus the way they used to tie them so the tie was stupidly short (we had a regulation number of stripes that needed to be visible to counter this).

The only thing they can do with the clip on ties is pull them off each other and throw them around. So make sure it has their name on it.

I am going to struggle I think 😂

My sons UK primary had a tie, the choices were clip on or a velcro loop. A clip on or velcro tie is still a normal tie. How many primary school uniform policies have you been looking at?

From your updates, I don’t think your problem is really the tie. It’s the school, isn’t it? The tie is representative of what you expect from the school, so you’re making it mean something it doesn’t.

You really need to shake that off. He’s going there, and you want him to feel safe and happy. He’ll be looking to you so be positive about everything. “Oh! A clip on tie! How convenient!”

Wait until he and his friends discover that pulling shirt pockets off is a fun game.

Clip on ties are standard. You seem to be harbouring some annoyance that your kid is going to the 'inferior' school. If this is the case, find a way to process and dump that feeling quick smart because your kid will take that inferior feeling and put it on himself. Is how kids work.

As for the tie thing, I think making kids wear a tie and then having it be clip on is the most stupid, performative shite ever. Why not just not have a tie?! But having kids in secondary school is an exercise in letting all the irritating things secondary schools do wash over you or your veins will suffer quite honestly.

This is really about feeling that the school your child is going to is not what you’d hoped for.

My Alma Mater uses clip on ties. I loved wearing proper tie.

Clips on ties at all secondary schools around here.
OP you’re going to have a hard time through secondary school if you’re this wound up about the uniform and your child hasn’t started yet.
You seem more aggrieved that your child didn’t get into the grammar but others did. Please don’t transfer what you clearly see as a “failure” to your child.

Not sure what you mean. Children just wear normal everyday clothes to school, like they do in countless other countries (including the one my DC we’re at school in until a couple of years ago). No expense, no issue.

I think people probably don't realise that most high schools have clip on ties now. They've had clip on ties at every school I've worked at.

In my area, the grammar schools and the comprehensives have clip on ties .
You're thinking too deeply into this.

It maintains a tie length that is standard.
It reduces risk of tie getting caught on anything.

It is not a big deal.

The grammar school will almost certainly have clip on as well.

Youre bonkers clip on tes are so they all look the same. No dangling ties. All correct. No bigger knots etc

Yeah but to be fair you’re thinking all kinds of nonsense that you’re making this post about something that’s blindingly obvious.

Not aggrieved, my child didn’t sit the 11+ (different county) so we knew this was the deal. But it’s a massive school and I am quite worried about it in general.

School uniform is stupid, but clip on ties are irrelevant to that. I wouldn't worry about it, OP. Also, there's plenty of safety measures in schools just in case: it doesn't mean kids are actually getting strangled at the school.

Love this, thank you

I work in a secondary school and the ties aren't clip on. Nor are they at my daughter's school.
My dad as a prison officer had them. But I don't know of school pupils who do.
I really don't think you should complain though, as you're projecting and overthinking a bit. Trust me, the school will have their reasons for favouring them, and you'll look silly for even raising this.

Really? My experience of countries without a school uniform is massive expense and massive issue, for example, different colour laces indicating different political stand points, different colour socks indicating different gang allegiances, etc.

@Simonjt my daughter's primary had elastic tie for Infants.
Most of the kids would sit at carpet time and "boing" them. The elastic would stretch and the tie part would be hanging down to their knees by the end of Year 2😂
They had real ties in Juniors. Half still struggled to tie them by the end of Year 6.
My daughter used to chew hers - eww.
Thankfully that primary has seen sense and they aren't compulsory anymore.

Clip on ties at all secondary schools around here. As others say it a health and safety thing - and no, the schools aren't particularly rough! However the odd did play games of trying to unclip each others ties, so they did swap one sort of messing around for another!

Your child will have a different uniform to the grammar school children so it will be obvious he doesn’t go there - clip on tie or not.

As someone who went to a school with no uniform, I can tell you there is definitely a ‘uniform’ in terms of what clothes are deemed fashionable etc.

I don’t know about most secondary schools having clip on ties. Only 1 of the 3 comps in my area have a clip on tie. None of the private schools do.

The one school that does have a clip on tie, also wear a blazer. That would be more of an annoyance to me.

Pretty much all schools round here have clip on ties. I'm more surprised that schools have proper ones