Childcare - is she being a CF?

[Hardknocks]

DH and I both work full time, but he’s off on a Thursday when he looks after DD who is 2.

SIL works 10-4 Monday to Friday and has so far avoided paying for any childcare for 10 year old niece by getting the neighbour to watch her..

Anyway the neighbour can’t do tomorrow or Friday so she has (just) text me to say please could DH have her tomorrow and I have her at home with me Friday (I WFH). I have work meetings but she said oh don’t worry she will just watch tv.. DH thinks she’s being a complete CF. I feel guilty for potentially saying no and leaving her in the lurch but also pissed off that I’m essentially paying for childcare for DD and looking after someone else’s child.

WWYD?

You're working, and DH has plans with his own family, so neither of you are available.

Sounds like your brother and SIL need more formal arrangements for childcare.

Tel SIL you are working and no can do.

I wouldn't do it.

I'd say sorry, dh has plans and your employer has a strict no kids while wfh policy and you know people who have been sacked for it so you cannot risk it.

Ignore any wheeling because its cunty to push you after you've said that.

Absolutely not. She needs to pay for childcare like the rest of us have to.

I WFH and it’s also my work policy that primary school children need to be in childcare.

I love my niece and she really is no trouble but she needs more interaction than being shoved in front of a screen all day.

It's not that big a deal for a couple of days but if you don't want to do it then that's fair enough.

I assume your brother and SIL are both in jobs where they can't work from home?

I would help out my DB and SIL as a one off. At 10yo she should be fine to entertain herself.

feel guilty for potentially saying no

Utterly unreasonable to feel guilty

Sorry - just seen your update that she is your brother's wife, so where is her family in this?

Let me get this straight - your child is in paid childcare and she wants you watching her 10 year old? that is just shit parenting for starters - her poor 10 year old!

I actually can't see an issue as a one-off for a couple of days.

She'll be fine in front of the TV with her tablet or something for a bit.

It's actually not okay for a 10 year old to do nothing but watch tv for even a few days - she is the perfect age for a holiday club - your SIL can pay for a few days - then her child is out with friends having exercise/ fun/ etc .

Baffled by people who think it's no bother at all to have a 10 year old in your house - yes a few hours of tv is fine - but an entire day? when the OP has actually paid for childcare for her own child? Why should it be on her mind wondering if the kid is bored while she is working.

At 10, as a one off, as long as your WFH policy allowed it, I wouldn’t have an issue.

I would absolutely not be picking her up in the morning / taking her home though:

We need to know more about your brother.

How is it not ok? What impact will it have?

It's definitely not ideal but as long as it's not all the time, a couple of days of tv is hardly going to cause long term harm.

Where’s your DB in all of this? If he’s not her dad where’s her dad? SIL has to call in sick or get AL. She has form and I wouldn’t open the door to this expectation . Probably her neighbour is getting fed up too and is becoming less and less available.

At the most I'd do it Friday, but be very clear it's a one off. Your DH has plans so he's not available.

She should also be getting a taxi to yours and not expecting you to pick up and drop off.

Is there a backstory behind your brother not being mentioned?

"Sorry but DH has plans to go out and I am at work so can't help."

"But you work from home"

"My employer does not allow me to cover any childcare in working hours without another parent or carer being present. Sorry I can't help."

Just say you can’t do childcare while working and that your employer is strict about this. If she insists: « SIL, your argument is that you don’t want to risk your job by taking time off, surly you can understand that I won’t risk mine to solve your problem »

Nope.

And I've looked after my nieces and nephews in the past.

You want your relationship with your niece, who is a person in her own right, to remain a good one. Looking after her by bunging her infront of the TV for 2 straight days won't help it to be one.

SIL or DB will have to take time off.

I think the 'where is x in all of this' line has gone too far now.

Just to remind everyone, 'all of this' is looking after a 10 year old for 6 hrs. Hardly a complex, life altering situation requiring every relative to be accounted for.

Where is your brother in all this?

Brother is self employed and they’ve said they can’t afford for him to take the time off, and she has no family nearby. Realistically it’s just me because I WFH.

I’ll say I will do it this week as a one off but she’s going to have to make other arrangements going forward.

The responses on this thread are ridiculous.
Sil has been fortunate to manage to work without paying for childcare. Good for her. I pay a fortune for mine but i dont begrudge people who can manage without it.
You obviously cant wfh with a 2yo but a 10yo would be fine watching tv/reading etc all day. No its not ideal but needs must during the hols.
There is no indication she's a cf, she's just asked.