Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think they should have just made the Toastie?

276 replies

PubToastie · 06/08/2024 20:38

NC as identifying.

We go for tea every Monday at a local pub, tied to brewery but independent, they have recently taken over another local pub.
Been going about 18 months every week since my DM Alzheimer's diagnosis. (When I haven't been able my sister and her husband takes her)

Every week we book the same table and DM always has a toastie from the lunch menu.

But instead of having it how it comes which is with four slices of bread, multiple fillings, chips, salad and coleslaw for £7.99 she has two slices of bread with cheese and four slices of cucumber. At best she eats half -We still pay the full amount.

For pudding she always has the one scoop vanilla ice cream with wafer from the kids menu. She always eats the wafer but never the ice cream but gets upset if the ice cream isn't served. Then she has a cup of tea.

At a minimum there are three other adults having 2 courses and drinks. Sometimes our teen children join, sometimes my sister and her young family join us all so can be 12 people, 11 ordering from the official menu and my mum.

We went yesterday and the new manager was there, he has been there about 8 weeks since they took over the new pub, (as the old manager moved) the normal bar man and normal waitress was there all who know us and that DM has Alzheimer's.
Normal waitress sat us down and as always chats to my mum, same conversation she has every week but the routine of all of this makes my mum at ease and we always have a lovely time.
Last night there was six of us, we all order and then waitress comes back and awkwardly tells us we can't have the toastie as its on the lunch menu, I laugh thinking it is a joke but waitress is very apologetic and says new manager won't allow it.
So I ask new manager to come over and he confirms that toastie is only at lunch and that as DM is an adult she can't have the kids ice cream either. My sister who is much more assertive than me says if there is no toastie then we would all leave as DM won't eat anything else (this is true) manager then says 'you won't leave' so sister gets up and tells us all to leave. Mum then gets upset and keeps saying 'but I want my toastie, that lovely girl said I could have my toastie '
Then the table next to us, who have heard it all asks why my mother can't have a toastie and it all gets a bit horrible as DM gets very upset.

Bar man who has seen all this has gone to chef had toastie made and brings it out to DM and is just brilliant, tells us that chef is always ready to make the toastie. New manager storms off.

We have dinner as normal.

As we leave manager comes over and says we can't have it next week as it is only for lunch and children.

AIBU to think that this approach is crazy we won't go there again?

Sorry it is so long

OP posts:
Malahide · 06/08/2024 20:41

Vote with your feet OP! New manager is being absolutely ridiculous

Itsallfunngamesuntil · 06/08/2024 20:41

Manager is cutting off his nose to spite his face
Incredibly mean spirited and just stupid

FizzyOranges · 06/08/2024 20:41

Can you appeal above this new manager (with the info as here)? E.g. to pub co?

RedHillSunsets · 06/08/2024 20:43

The manager is an idiot!!!

AliAtHome · 06/08/2024 20:46

Kudos to the chef and bar man - their humanity is a credit to them and the new manager should take their lead.

peesinapod · 06/08/2024 20:46

He's an idiot trying to assert power. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Chocchipluckie · 06/08/2024 20:46

That’s such a shame for your mum! What a miserable manager!

sprigatito · 06/08/2024 20:46

Leave blistering reviews everywhere, giving full detail of what happened. New manager is a pompous little prick who needs to learn the hard way that businesses don't work without customers.

L66 · 06/08/2024 20:47

i Left my last place due to a manager like this, we were taken over by a well known ‘brand’ and I remember when they first came in we had a new area chef and he was in with the new manager and our usual customer came in with her daughters (she was wheelchair bound and was dying, she had stage 4 cancer and couldn’t eat much) she always always ordered the children’s fish pieces and chips, they point blank refused to serve her the kids meal, even after I explained her illness and everything they wouldn’t allow it even cancelled the order in the kitchen, they never came back to us after that and I don't blame them in the slightest. These big corporations and chains that run places don’t often run them well at all.

SauviGone · 06/08/2024 20:49

Hopefully the new manager won’t last long. Thank goodness for the other lovely staff.

I’d leave reviews on Google, Trip Advisor, etc detailing what a nasty little prick the new manager is.

spermwhale · 06/08/2024 20:50

That manager is an absolute cunt.

Definitelylivedin · 06/08/2024 20:51

If he is the manager someone is above him in the food chain. Owner? Or brewery? Write to them. Praise the chef and the waitress but explain that your business and your goodwill will leave if this can't be sorted.

CherriesBerriesAndBananas · 06/08/2024 20:51

Bloody hell what a vile man.

ForestForever · 06/08/2024 20:51

sprigatito · 06/08/2024 20:46

Leave blistering reviews everywhere, giving full detail of what happened. New manager is a pompous little prick who needs to learn the hard way that businesses don't work without customers.

I was going to write pretty much this until I saw that you wrote this. Tripadvisor, trustpilot and all social media reviews OP. Conceited wanker, I hope the people on the next table do the same. How dreadful for you all, especially your poor mum.

PubToastie · 06/08/2024 20:52

L66 · 06/08/2024 20:47

i Left my last place due to a manager like this, we were taken over by a well known ‘brand’ and I remember when they first came in we had a new area chef and he was in with the new manager and our usual customer came in with her daughters (she was wheelchair bound and was dying, she had stage 4 cancer and couldn’t eat much) she always always ordered the children’s fish pieces and chips, they point blank refused to serve her the kids meal, even after I explained her illness and everything they wouldn’t allow it even cancelled the order in the kitchen, they never came back to us after that and I don't blame them in the slightest. These big corporations and chains that run places don’t often run them well at all.

This has made me so sad. It just seems that the littlest bit of kindness is forgotten in the name of profit, but that actually it ends up costing them more.

OP posts:
3CustardCreams · 06/08/2024 20:53

Agree with those saying vote with your feet. This could have been easily accommodated.

MMAMPWGHAP · 06/08/2024 20:54

Would this not come under the need for a reasonable adjustment due to disability?

Offcom · 06/08/2024 20:54

Imagine you could bring a little bit of comfort to a woman whose life is getting smaller week by week, or you could enforce arbitrary corporate rules and you chose the latter. Utterly tragic, joyless human. Yuck

L66 · 06/08/2024 20:54

@PubToastie i completely agree if I’m honest, they were an awful company to work for and I was gobsmacked with how they treated those ladies that day. I hope your mum was okay after sorry you had such a bad experience.

TokyoSushi · 06/08/2024 20:54

That's absolutely ridiculous, the complete opposite of hospitality, I'd complain as high up as you can go. Any idiot can see that he is being absolutely awful.

cowboybootsonglassfloor · 06/08/2024 20:55

If it's a chain go to the powers that be, I'm sure a local paper would be interested!

Whattodo112222 · 06/08/2024 20:56

New manager sounds like a hideous jobsworth. Surely any human being with an ounce of decency in them would realise your DM isn't being awkward and that routine is highly important to her. Glad she got her toastie in the end.

Sweetteaplease · 06/08/2024 20:56

I think if the toastie thing is on a different menu, then that's fair enough as I assume there's some business reason for it. But not allowing the icecream is a bit petty. But as others said, vote with your feet

WGACA · 06/08/2024 20:57

Tell everyone you know and hopefully they’ll boycott too. How awful!

PubToastie · 06/08/2024 21:00

Thanks. We haven't posted any reviews yet, because they have been brilliant for the last 18 months. We are also private people so wouldn't want any attention so not going to papers etc. I just wanted some other views as my family are all so very cross.

OP posts: