To think they should have just made the Toastie?

[PubToastie]

NC as identifying.

We go for tea every Monday at a local pub, tied to brewery but independent, they have recently taken over another local pub.
Been going about 18 months every week since my DM Alzheimer's diagnosis. (When I haven't been able my sister and her husband takes her)

Every week we book the same table and DM always has a toastie from the lunch menu.

But instead of having it how it comes which is with four slices of bread, multiple fillings, chips, salad and coleslaw for £7.99 she has two slices of bread with cheese and four slices of cucumber. At best she eats half -We still pay the full amount.

For pudding she always has the one scoop vanilla ice cream with wafer from the kids menu. She always eats the wafer but never the ice cream but gets upset if the ice cream isn't served. Then she has a cup of tea.

At a minimum there are three other adults having 2 courses and drinks. Sometimes our teen children join, sometimes my sister and her young family join us all so can be 12 people, 11 ordering from the official menu and my mum.

We went yesterday and the new manager was there, he has been there about 8 weeks since they took over the new pub, (as the old manager moved) the normal bar man and normal waitress was there all who know us and that DM has Alzheimer's.
Normal waitress sat us down and as always chats to my mum, same conversation she has every week but the routine of all of this makes my mum at ease and we always have a lovely time.
Last night there was six of us, we all order and then waitress comes back and awkwardly tells us we can't have the toastie as its on the lunch menu, I laugh thinking it is a joke but waitress is very apologetic and says new manager won't allow it.
So I ask new manager to come over and he confirms that toastie is only at lunch and that as DM is an adult she can't have the kids ice cream either. My sister who is much more assertive than me says if there is no toastie then we would all leave as DM won't eat anything else (this is true) manager then says 'you won't leave' so sister gets up and tells us all to leave. Mum then gets upset and keeps saying 'but I want my toastie, that lovely girl said I could have my toastie '
Then the table next to us, who have heard it all asks why my mother can't have a toastie and it all gets a bit horrible as DM gets very upset.

Bar man who has seen all this has gone to chef had toastie made and brings it out to DM and is just brilliant, tells us that chef is always ready to make the toastie. New manager storms off.

We have dinner as normal.

As we leave manager comes over and says we can't have it next week as it is only for lunch and children.

AIBU to think that this approach is crazy we won't go there again?

Sorry it is so long

I actually said "fuck me" out loud when reading your post.

This is just awful. I really hope this nasty new manager doesn't sack the barman out of spite.

I'd be putting reviews on google & tripadvisor detailing all of this. I'd make sure to really show appreciation and gratitude to the waitress, barman and chef, whilst going to town on slating the new manager.

Another poster has a good point, about his failure to make reasonable adjustments for your mother, in relation to her condition.

I have worked in hospitality/catering, and establishments like this who are completely rigid are just awful. I've always worked in places where we treat lovely regulars like yourselves like royalty, nothing is ever too much trouble.

Please take this further somehow, that manager is an utter disgrace.

As another poster suggested, might be a good idea to go see them, I'd go in and thank the barman for saving the day, then try to appeal to that cunt's better side (if he has one).

I cannot imagine how this is 100% you are not being unreasonable. I would complain higher than the manager and if. It accommodation leave poor reviews. So sorry for your mum.

How frustrating for you all.

Sounds like the same plonker that banned swaps at a place we went to regularly. His reasoning was it interferes with stock control. So I couldn't have beans instead of peas but my friend didn't want the chips so he offered her extra beans. He couldn't see the irony of it. I never went back. It burnt down a few years ago and isn't being rebuilt.

The manager is a pure jobsworth. I sometimes get a kids meal when I'm not hungry rather than sitting without a meal and there's no vegan starter option and as my DP and teens have adult meals they have never minded. That manager sounds vile.

New manager sounds either a bit thick or young/inexperienced and definitely out of his depth. I'd be surprised if he's there ling tbh, as not only is he incompetent, but commands zero respect since his staff openly defied him. Unfortunately their kindness will likely make him dig his heels in to show whose boss, so you might find he does pull rank harder next time. If it were me I'd visit ahead next time, ask to speak to him, explain and request the toastie. If he refuses then I'd go to head office. I'd not let my mum lose her small pleasure without a fight.

This is where social media is your friend. Post like you've done here on the local fb page and the pub's fb page.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. The staff clearly knew and understood; new manager was clearly being an absolute tit.

I agree you need to complain about the manager to whoever is above him. Praise the other staff as they all sound lovely but probably won't last long as their manager is a cunt.
This makes me so upset. My mum has Alzheimer's and we have been lucky as most places she goes to are so accommodating but we do live in a small village. I
I'd leave bad reviews but if you don't want to then go down the complaints route.

No it’s not just for employment. Businesses need to make reasonable adjustments for customers.

This is so cruel. Please make as much fuss as you can.

Agree with this. In fact take to the local newspaper and show how much more humane and empathetic the chef and customers are than the manager and hope that it encourages the manager to learn some people skills.
We went somewhere recently and my little one ate all his baked beans and wanted some more, but wouldn't touch anything else. He generally eats well but is tiny and needs food. I asked for more beans - they gave us the same again - no charge. This is what makes you return.
Good luck with your Mum and sending love xx

Definitely complain above manager … Tell them you come as a family for …. 18 months . The distress how chef and lady are amazing - new manager is a knob ( perhaps not those words though fitting ) ..make it clear unless your Mum can be guaranteed a toastie as she has eaten for past 18 months you will not be returning.

The people at the top live in a bubble and need to hear in the hope they correct it

Contact the brewery OP. I’m sure that in times like these they’ll be thrilled to know that this twat is alienating the regular customer base and behaving in the most ignorant manner towards a vulnerable person - and all for the sake of two pieces of toast and some cheese.

What a nasty piece of work.
I think you should write to the manager himself asking for him to give you a good reason why he felt the need to treat an elderly, frail, confused lady in such an appalling manner and with such a lack of compassion. His attitude towards your family caused great distress and upset for your DM and all over a minor change that has always been accommodated in the past.

He will either realise he has acted like a total prick, apologise profusely and agree to look after you going forward
OR
He will double down and try to
excuse his behaviour. At that point I would forward both lots of correspondence to his superior and leave a scathing review everywhere you can.

I hope he has had a rethink and feels utterly ashamed of himself.

He sounds like a prick who can't see beyond the end of his nose or know when to pick his battles. Too many people are lacking compassion in this world.

For once I’d quite like the thread to be picked up by the press.

My daughter worked in Wetherspoons when she was younger, and they had an elderly regular who came in every day for the same meal. I can’t remember what it was now, but something unusual like broccoli soup. It was only made from a dry mix, so the manager stockpiled it when he found out it was to be taken off the menu so the man could carry on having it every day.

It’s a chain that gets a lot of criticism, but individual staff are kind

Was just thinking the same.

It might be worth going to talk to him out of service hours, explain the situation and negotiate. From his point of view he probably just didn’t really think it through and was sticking to the rules without adding some humanity in. He doesn’t know your mum and hasn’t seen her over months so doesn’t understand. Maybe if you explain without the emotion of being in the situation he will be ok

Your poor DM. I have been ranting for a while about how you can't get a simple toastie in a pub any more.

Not off topic as far as I'm concerned, that was kindness from the staff. I'm sorry for your loss.

Absolute shit head. This is where you tell everyone, FB, papers the lot.

Do you know what my local pub does? Whatever the heck the kids want. So dd Sunday. Fish, four chips and carrots. Dd2 baked potato cheese and cucumber. Dd3. Fish and baked potato no skin. So on so on.

Dad, brought for tea from care home, MUST have plate, no boards in sight, plain food, left to cool.

The rest of us are thankful to be fed and have lovely people serve us.

Charge, £2 each.

Then ice cream, a teaspoon of all the flavours because they couldn't choose.

We go every fortnight. Because they accommodate us and our family.

A toastie is literally 2 slices of bread and cheese/ham/whatever. 5 minute job with all the ingredients on the fridge ready to go.

It's hardly asking them rustle up a hot meal that isn't currently being prepared.

The new manager is a cunt.

The markup must be massive
I don't get it either

I’d try and contact his management. Petty asshats like that should not be tolerated.

Manager is being a real dick and is going to lose a lot of money as a result. What a tosser.