To find this H comment annoying

[Ginge88]

If I forget something or use the wrong plug or something, DH says loudly

"And the 356th way Ginge has fucked up today is...."

Or whatever number is in his head. Frustrating thing is I actually don't mess up things v much and it's him that needs reminders of everything

But yes if he notices says the milk is left out or something il hear him say "and Ginge succeeds in fucking up for the 455th time this week" and chuckling to himself

I've told him to stop. He tells me it's a joke. He does now do it less but he clearly thinks I'm being totally over sensitive

Am I?

Urgh. Don't some men think they're funny?!

Up to about a decade ago, DH had a habit of coming out with the same stories/anecdotes/folklore from 20+ years ago when we first met. Used to drag something up that I did (that was a bit daft or 'wrong,') and was bent double laughing at that thing I got 'wrong' in 1996, and I was like 😐 because I didn't get why he was still mentioning in 20 years later. It wasn't particularly funny then, and it isn't funny 20 years on.

A few times he did this kind of thing , my DC looked at him like >>> and said 'dad, you do realise right, that this is probably the 20th time I have heard you repeat this same thing over the years, and it's not even funny!' My younger DC told him to stop being a dick' when he brought up and laughed at something I did 10 years earlier. Since my DC pulled him up a few times, (maybe 10 years ago,) he started doing it much less. Hardly at all now.

When I pulled him up on it (some years ago,) he gave a similar reaction to the OP's husband and said 'don't be daft, I'm only joking!' As has been said, it's not funny if the only person laughing is the one who told the 'joke,' or made the comment. Bit annoying that it took our DC (when they were in their mid teens,) to let him know he was being a dick, for him to stop it.

But yeah @Ginge88 your DH sounds exhausting, and I don't think I could be with someone long-term who refused to stop this. It's humiliating and rude, and is a really dickish thing to do to a person. No-one should be doing this to someone they profess to love. It's always men that do it too. 🙄

Oh god I missed this post. What a weirdo! Patronising you like you're a little kid. Does he really expect you to think that he's never seen blusher before? I think you need to try and respond in the moment - shut it down calmly there and then. Look him dead in the eye and tell him he's being really odd.

Is he really a good dad @Ginge88? How old are your kids? It's not how he should be teaching them to treat you or other women. And I bet when they're older he'll start bringing them into his 'jokes' and laughing at you too. It's disrespectful.

So he is constantly demeaning you. And that’s BECAUSE you have the high powered job, do all the thinking work and bring more to the table than him. The first thing you need to do, is to recognise this.

I hate that spineless “I’m only joking” shit cowards resort to when they want to have a dig at someone but are terrified of retaliation.

Ask him why it’s funny and if he’d find you saying similar about him as funny. Say you’re not going as it’s beneath you because you’re not a pathetic coward and tries to conceal his own many flaws and inadequacies by constantly belittling someone else.

"You need to listen to your husband more" would have me responding with "if my husband tried to be less of a know-all twat, I might just do that"

He sounds like an utter spiteful bellend

You could try responding with "And that's the 456th time Ginge'sH has come out with that incredibly unoriginal comment today. Also the 988th time this week that he's made himself sound like an inadequate twat with a small dick and no sense of humour."

Why do so many posters who say their husband treats them badly, always say he's a 'great dad?'

A man is NOT a 'great dad' if he showing contempt, disrespect, and rudeness towards the childrens mother.

If he needs reminding of everything, is it possible he is fed up of your nit picking so has taken to saying this as return to that?

If he is otherwise a good man in a happy marriage, I would have a frank conversation about why he feels the need to do it.

If this is not the case, then yes a clear, please stop doing that as I dont find it funny, its annoying and upsetting. What he does next, tells you what you need to know.

sports commentary voice

"And the winner for the most convincing fake orgasms for the 6th year in a row goes to, ginge!" After every single time you have sex.

Lean it to his joke but make it about his insecurities, and if he has none, keep doing it until he's plenty. 🤣

See how hilarious it is then💅

Have now seen your updates - ignore my post. He sounds like a dick.

WTAF…..?! This is really not ok.

“But the biggest mistake Ging ever made was marrying Mr Ging” on repeat every time he does it.

With a shrug, smile and “it’s a joke” if he complains

It's very obviously not a joke - it's nasty

Why are you still with this pathetic, silly little twit, send him back to his mummy, she's the one who taught him to behave like an idiot.

Every time you have sex, announce that it is the 566th time dh has failed to satisfy his wife before finishing. He'll soon get the point.

He knows it's not a joke. He is deliberately belittling you, probably to make himself feel superior. It's really nasty, however faux-lightheartedly he does it. The make-up one is horrible. You can try making him see how it feels by doing the same to him, but even if that works, it's not going to solve the underlying attitude that's making him behave like this towards you.

Lots of posters are suggesting smart put-down responses, but in my view, if your husband consistently belittles and demeans you in this way, the marriage is over.

He doesn't respect you, admire you, or care about your feelings, and he sure as hell is not a good dad. He definitely isn't proud of your accomplishments and contribution to his life. He gets a kick out of sneering at you, scoring points off you and making you look bad. And if you engage in point scoring in response, all you will do is reinforce that horrible dynamic - is that what you want to become?

The marriage is unsalvageable. Hold your head high, and tell him you won't be his punchbag (metaphorically) any more.

the sex jokes are making me smile as he's actually bloody awful in bed! has been for years. i fake it everytime to get it to end quicker!

i say he's a good dad because he is in lots of ways. he loves them a lot and they love him.

i have sons (pre-school age). i do have a fear of them joining in with the 'jokes' one day. The thought of me working 45 hour weeks, and doing all the life/house admin - and comign home to three boys/men making shitty 'jokes' towards me every day. would be awful!

someone asked about his job - no, he doesn't have high pressure job. i am the main earner.

well, i do feel reassured at least that i'm not just being oversensitive. he acts like i'm making a mountain out of a molehill the whole time.

i do think he's highly insecure.

oh this is horrible. And if he does it in front of the kids, they'll grow up doing exactly the same to you and others if you don't put a stop to it.

The fact he ridiculed you for wearing makeup after you made a specific effort?! And when you told him how you felt, he minimised your feelings.

Someone posted this on another thread the other day and I took a screen shot:

That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

Sorry OP but he sounds awful. My DH, no matter what he thought of me, would always say how nice I looked/how the dress was flattering/make up looks nice etc if we're going out. People comfortable in their own skin would never say things like your husband has said to you.

Tell him to fuck off and grow up.

I guessed you were the main earner before your update OP. You do know why he needs to put you down, right? It's his insecurity. He feels the need to prove he's better than you.

Pathetic little men like this really piss me off. He should be proud of you, and he isn't.

The more you’re telling us about him the more I’m wondering why you’re with him? Why do you put up with that?? You earn more and do more….why are you with him. I’m finding myself asking multiple times a day why some of you are with dick heads like this. Life is far too short to not be happy. Standards and boundaries are non existent for so many women and they should be so high.

Totally agree