17 years old dd is refusing to come with us on holiday

[Joanfromnextdoor]

Name change here as I don’t want to be recognised with my other threads.

We are due to travel to France this weekend and stay for a week. We are going to see my parents for the weekend (they are french) and go for a few days in Normandy. Dd is now refusing to go, saying she hates it there, she is not confident at all with her french (my fault). We went at Christmas last year for the first time in at least 10 years and she said she hated it, felt depressed there.

I think Covid didn’t help at all as we didn’t go to France for 2 years and she has a massive blockage about going.

I have pleaded with her..and she reluctantly said yes she was coming but then changed her mind again. I got her a ticket to Reading to see her favourite artist, I booked for the 2 of us to go to Paris in December as she really wanted to go to find a compromise with her.

I can’t leave her because she is not matured enough, I don’t trust her, she would be the kind to not close the fridge properly, leave rubbish everywhere, she refuses to do anything pretty much.

We have no family that could help us.

We have a 20 years old daughter who really wants to go, we can’t cancel the holiday.

AIBU to lose my shit with her ?? What would you do ?

You can report it.

Says the person who edited away a sneery, judgemental post 😂

As people have said, report your own post and MN will delete it, usually pretty instantly. You’re everso defensive, I was letting you know everyone could still see your original message as it seemed you thought that wasn’t the case.

Yes, I realised after I’d written it that it looked unpleasant, which was why I wanted to delete it.

But I don’t understand. How is it that other people can still see the original when I can’t?

How are things, OP?

If she's not mature enough to stay home, then tough. She'll just have to suck it up

Read the thread

Read the OP's updates before you post unhelpful comments

There were plenty of 17yos at my university. Often Scottish who had finished their highers and got a place at uni and didn't want to take a gap year.

Seriously? She's 17 and can't stay alone? What a coddled baby!!!!

If you'd read the thread you'd see she has severe anxiety and depression.

God you're nasty

If you can't say anything helpful please at least make the effort to read the OP's updates. Select "see all" on the OP's first post.

Here is a snippet for you to read: So we saw the gp today and he strongly advised us to seek psychiatric help for our dd as she is depressed/severe anxiety.

By and large, people tend to get the kids they raise.

I don't think that parents deliberately raise a depressed and anxious child.

What a needlessly spiteful remark

It is a really hurtful comment. Someone sent me vile messages blaming me for my dd’s anorexia and it was really upsetting. Solidarity op.

I hope your DD is receiving the treatment she needs @Mummyoflittledragon

Whose fault is it that she doesn’t close the fridge properly and leaves rubbish around the place?

People are just being deliberately obtuse now

Thanks @RampantIvy. She is. Well, we are paying privately. She isn’t engaging in therapy so we (mostly me) is being taught to look after her. Hard slog.